Trapped By Triggers // Night School Part. 5 // The Blueprint with Dr. Dharius Daniels

What's up family and welcome to the blueprint a third way Bible study and super grateful for the opportunity to connect using the tool of technology man. And uh if you're here for the first time I want to welcome you. We believe there are three ways you can live your live your life.

Cultur's way, church's way or the king's way. Culture's way that's living your life according to the patterns and precepts of what we call the world. uh church's way, that's living your life according to the patterns, principles, and precepts of religion. And then the king's way, which is living your life according to the patterns and the precepts of the rabbi, Jesus, who is more than a redeemer who wants to get you to heaven.

He's a rabbi that wants to show you and I how to live on earth. We call it the third way. And it's not just right, man. It's better. And uh we're incredibly grateful. And so for those of you that are tapping in virtually, want you to drop some fire in the chat and we want to welcome those that are tapped in with us at our physical locations for Change Church at 180 night.

I got the Reverend Dr. Marcus Derell Dudley. >> Yes, sir. >> With me on today. How you doing, Bishop? >> Doing good, pastor. It is always a pleasure to be here. excited about uh this this study and excited about what God is uh going to say tonight. >> Man, I'm excited about this conversation.

We're in a series called Night School. >> And um for me, when I do Bible study, >> um I we're studying a book of the Bible. >> We're or a theme in the Bible, prayer, spiritual warfare, um discipline, etc. or we're studying characters in the Bible >> for the purpose not just of information because Paul says information without application just puffs you up.

It's you become a contemporary what the Bible calls Pharisee, >> right? Ignorant and arrogant, >> you know. >> Uh yeah, but not just for the purpose of information, but for application. >> Application. Application. Um >> so we believe you're deep if you're able to do it. You're not deep if you know it. >> You're deep if you can do it. >> That's right. >> Does that make sense? >> And a lot of people obsess over the accumulation of information.

Pastor Because the accumulation of information doesn't require anything of them but memorization. >> Oh, >> but application >> requires something. >> They require something. >> You need the Holy Spirit >> to help you apply. >> Right. It's easy to memorize love your neighbor. >> Love your enemy. >> That's right. >> We need the Holy Spirit to help me apply that.

You're deep if you do it. And so we're in this series called Night School where we're exploring biblical characters in the book of Genesis. >> So you're literally, whether you know this or not, if you've been following us in this series, you're literally learning Genesis. >> We're pulling characters from the book of Genesis and using those characters as instructors to help us uh be discipled on how to handle dark times, which what we call nights, seasons, man.

And I don't know about you, Doc. I've been >> I believe if the teaching doesn't bless you, um it's going to it's going to that largely determines whether or not it blesses the people. >> That's right. That's right. >> And this this what I've been learning has been blessing me. >> It's it's been blessing me uh to the fact that and we alluded to this a couple of weeks ago, how um night seasons that turn into night schools is an extension of God's favor. >> That's right.

And uh what I'm learning is this that God is not absent during the night season. >> Somebody said he works the night shift. >> Because God does some of his best night shift in the chat. Yes. >> He does some of his best work in the dark. >> That's right. >> Some of the most uh growth, some of the most formation happened when people were exposed to night seasons.

That's right. And God showed up and turned a night season into night school. that I don't know about you, but I thank God for all of the nice seasons. >> That's right. >> That I allowed to become night school friends. >> 100% 100%. >> God works the night shift. >> He He works the night shift. >> 100%. >> He works the night shift. >> Yeah.

So, what we're really talking about in this series, Doc, is passive spiritual growth. >> Cuz you don't determine if you have night seasons. You're going to have some. >> You're going to have some. >> Yeah. After you get through binding, loosening, rebuking, you're going to we're going to have some in this world.

You'll have tribulation, but be of good cheer. I've overcome the world. You're going to have some nice seasons. All right, here's the thing. We don't determine if we have night seasons. We determine though if those night seasons become night school. That's right. >> God wants to use them as night school. >> But our education in those areas require participation.

We must be willing >> to allow him to show us what he wants to show us, teach us what he wants to teach us, and grow us where he wants to grow us in night seasons. And disciples learn how to develop in the dark. >> They do. So, we're going to have a conversation today about a couple of people in in Genesis, Abraham and Isaac.

And the topic of the teaching is trapped by triggers. >> Trapped by >> triggers. Um, so we mentioned earlier we're in this series called Night School, which is intended to disciple us on how to handle the dark. >> When we say dark times, we mean night seasons. And there are three ways you can handle night seasons.

There's culture's way, which is to run from the dark. >> That's escapism. escapist. >> Mhm. Then there's church's way, which is to pretend it's not dark. >> Just pray about it. >> Yeah. Just pray about it. Get somewhere. Sit down. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretend it's not dark.

Right. Uh then there's the king's way, which is to develop in the dark. This is when we allow God to turn our night seasons into night school where we learn what we haven't learned before. Where we become who we haven't become before so we can do what we haven't done before. >> And here's what I've learned. >> Um, as we ex as we've been exploring individuals in the book of Genesis and using their example as our instructors on how to handle night seasons, here's what I've learned.

As I looked at Abraham and Isaac, >> some night seasons, watch this, can be attributed to us being trapped by triggers. >> That's right. >> We can be trapped in night seasons >> cuz we trapped by our triggers. >> Now, when I say triggers, here's what we mean here.

Situations, circumstance. It's it's really stimuli, >> but it's situations, circumstances, people, places, or events, watch this, that activate us. >> Unresolved internal emotional wounds producing >> Yeah. disproportionate reactions that often perpetuate cycles of pain >> and keep us trapped keep us trapped in prolonged seasons of difficulty. >> Right?

So really triggers >> make night seasons >> uh make what could be night seasons into night states. >> So what what should be a stage becomes a state. So we come we become trapped in a state >> because we're trapped by triggers. >> Oh, somebody just put an emoji in the chat right now that just describes >> triggers >> what you're sensing.

But the key word is whether it's people, >> circumstances, places, events, >> all of those things are really is stimuli. >> That's right. >> It's stimuli. And here's the issue. The stimuli itself isn't the problem. >> The situation, the circumstance, the people, the place, or the event, that's not actually the problem.

It's a mirror that's exposing the real problem. >> That's right. >> It's not just the people. It's not just the place. It's not just the situation. It's not just the event. That is an environment that is activating something in us that is unresolved. And we thought and sometimes we can think we're delivered from the wound when sometimes we're not delivered.

It's just dormant. >> There is a difference between dormant and delivered. >> Being delivered, pastor, that's so good. And and and and what it is is triggers are often transportations that take us back to that place. That's exactly what they do. >> That we thought we were delivered or healed from. >> Yes, sir. >> So, um you know in >> Yes, sir. >> It's what what what what one of the things I like about it is how uh triggers are the result of trauma. >> That's it.

That's it. >> Trauma produces triggers. >> And what the triggers do is they revealed what traumatized us. >> Yes. Yes. And I like that though you said they transportation. >> Transportation >> that take us back. >> Back. That's right. Take us back. take us back to to to where we were traumatized or what where we experienced >> trauma.

They take us back. They want to take us back. >> No. No. And I think I think if we honest and if if we're honest, right? And and >> I just wish I just Third way. Third way. I just wish we would be honest. >> Be honest. Let's be honest. >> Oh my gosh.

I just wish we would be honest. Right. >> There's no one that exists that's trigger-free. You may be un you may be unaware of your triggers, >> but there is no one that is not trigger-free. I think the more you grow and the more you're healed, and we're going to talk about this, the more your wounds are resolved, then what happens is the less intense the trigger is, >> the less prolonged the trigger is, the less control the trigger is.

But part of temptation is not just being tempted to act immorally. Sometimes uh temptation is being tempted to act in an unhealthy way. Not just immoral way, but an unproductive way, right? Not just to tempted to do something sinful, but tempted to do something stupid or emotional. It's like >> unhinged. >> Yeah.

Unhinged. >> Unhinged, right? Unhinged behavior. >> Yeah. Exactly. And so I think I think we got to realize that like temptation shows up in a number of different ways. And our triggers tempt us to respond to react. >> And I think it's key and critical for us to realize is that if you and I have some unresolved internal wounds and you do. >> And the reason you do is because we need the the reason I know we do is because of a concept called progressive sanctification. >> That's right.

Yes. >> Where God progressively >> shapes us into his image and his likeness. We're in his image and his likeness positionally, >> but experientially and practically. He's got to make me in practically who I am positionally. >> Right. Yes, sir. >> I'm in Christ practically, >> but everything about you and I is not like Christ.

I mean, I'm in Christ positionally, but everything about you and I is not like Christ practically. So part of what sanctification does >> that process >> is the process of aligning >> who I am and where I am positionally >> with who I am and what I'm doing practically. >> And so I feel like what we got to realize, hey, it's progressive. >> It it is it's progressive.

Now you can get out of sin quickly. You won't become like the Savior quickly, though. >> And for many of us, we just had we've had secondwave religious experiences. And many of us are under second way teaching. >> Come on. I'm leave that alone. But a lot of people just under second way teaching.

Well, the only conversation people are having with you is your sin. >> And I'm not saying that it's not important to have that conversation. >> But the Apostle Paul would say that's the only conversation you're having. >> That's elementary. >> Elementary. >> Literally, Paul says that's elementary. >> That's elementary. >> Whoever you believe wrote Hebrews. >> But am I in the book? >> You're in the book.

Because does he not say in Hebrews moving on from elementary things, >> let us go on to perfection or the word maturity. >> He's like there's some other stuff. He even says I think it was it in Corinthians he was like >> he uses milk and meat >> as metaphors of conversation.

He's like I'm still having he says I should be having more substantive conversations with you, >> but I just got to I got to keep talking to you about not lying. How many times are we going to have to talk about not lying, not cheating, not stealing? At some point, we got to move from just having conversations of getting out of sin and also have conversations to getting into the Satan.

Woo. >> That's it. >> Does that make sense? Makes more sense. When I become like Jesus, I get out of sin, but I can get out of sin. And that doesn't mean I become like Jesus. It just means I don't do that thing no more. >> That's right. >> Does that make sense? >> Yeah.

Yeah. And and what I hear you saying, pastor, is this. No matter if we are in Jesus or not, it doesn't take away from the fact that we'll be triggered sometime. >> That's that's the point. Yeah. I said all that to say, you're right. Yeah. >> Progressively that part of what makes us like Jesus is not just dealing with our wickedness.

It's dealing with our wounds. >> That's right. >> Your pain and your wounds are what's driving you. We just had a conversation. Oh, I'm going to be having a conversation at our church. And I know this is not for every there are people who glean from the teaching ministry.

I'm not their pastor. a teaching voice in their life and so I recognize that but for those that are part of our church this Sunday I'm talking about like the healing ministry of God >> and like the like so we're we're a series called name dropping and I'm talking about the God who heals now many of us have reductionist theology of healing because we're reducing to the physical realm >> and everybody God heals heal physically in the Bible with exception of a couple people like who who got caught up was it Enoch >> he got caught up >> Elijah yeah Enoch got caught up >> Enoch got caught up in Elijah right Okay.

Everybody else died. >> They died. They died. >> Even when they got healed, they died again. >> Lazarus got Lazarus got up. He died again. He died again. >> Right. >> He died. >> So until the resurrection of the body, all physical healing is temporary. >> That's right. >> Mhm. >> Yes, sir.

You're the book. You're the right book. >> But that God does more. Rafa, >> I'm sorry. >> Does more than heal the body. >> He heals the brokenhearted. That's right. >> Am I in the book? >> You're in the book. and binds up their wounds >> because some people's issue isn't wickedness, it's woundedness. >> And the woundedness is keeping them from being like Christ. >> That's right. >> Come on in here. >> This is why we knew holy.

We knew people who were holy, who were stingy, mean, territorial, hypers sensitive, unkind, uncaring, bad fathers, bad mothers, bad children, bad wives, but they were holy because they dealt with the wickedness and not with the woundedness. I don't hear anybody talking to me in this church. >> They quiet.

They quiet. >> They quiet in this church. >> Hallelujah. >> Night. >> Yes. If you can't say amen, say ouch. >> But we know that's true. >> Yeah, that's true. That's true, pastor. >> And we would excuse some of that. I mean, we we know better now, but I think sometimes in church, we would just like write that stuff off.

We like that. Okay. That's just that's just a mean usher. That's kind meanness is not a fruit of the spirit. Kindness is. >> That's right. Yeah. >> And so they, you know, they they may have had on white and been holy. >> So, okay, we dealt with the wickedness. >> They're still wounded. >> We didn't deal with the woundedness. >> The wounds are unresolved.

That's right. >> Unresolved internal wounds because the real issue lies beneath the surface. Triggers tap into past hurt, trauma, fear, rejection, or shame. And pastor, it produces these disproportionate reactions. Have you ever be honest? Now, if you at change church, don't say anything out loud just in case you sitting next to somebody trigger trigger.

But if you in the chat, just say I can relate. If you can relate to experiencing disproportionate reactions, whether whether the disproportionate reaction came from you or came at you. >> Have you ever done something that people like, why why are you so mad at me? >> Mhm. >> What happened? >> What happened? >> I remember one time, doc, this was years ago.

Somebody put in the chat years ago. >> This was probably, this was over 20 years ago. >> I was interning at this church in training. I was just an intern. I wasn't interning, pastor. it was just intern and uh you know I'm like a um a a a reflective guy.

I'm always in my head, so I'm thinking a lot, right? And one day, it was this person uh at at the church I was interning with, >> man, they walked up. They walked up to me and they had that energy. >> Now, I love Jesus. I'm a If you You know me personally, sir.

Most people just know my preacher. You know me personally. I know you personally. >> I'm a man of honor, >> right? I I believe in that. >> My dad My father instilled that in me. My father was an honorable man. You honor people. Honor is a kingdom ethic.

I try to be a man of honor. >> And I don't so I don't dishonor people. >> But one of my weaknesses >> is is I don't take dishonor away. >> That's why I don't bother anybody. You understand what I'm saying? >> That's why I tell our church I tell our church that if somebody say I saw your pastor, you know, he was out doing this or doing that and stealing money or doing this, you can be like, "Nope, my pastor didn't do that." say, "If I saw your pastor and he like he squared up on somebody, then you need to say, "Let me investigate and I'll come back this way. >> Let me pray and investigate ALL THAT OTHER STUFF." >> All that other please talk to me nice.

Oh, please talk to me right saints of God. Y'all see me talk to me, right? >> I don't bother anybody. I stay out the way. >> Uh and so that's just you got to be honest about that, right? And so I'm saying all this to say uh I remember I remember this little in the incident and the guy came here and he brought that energy >> and I'm like >> who you who you talking to? >> Who you? >> Yeah, we in we in church. >> We in church.

Yeah, >> we in church. Not at church service, but like we in the church building. Say, "Brother, who who you talking to? I'm tired of you walking past me not speak." I said, "Man, I didn't even see you. >> First of all, I need you to Come on, come on, come on down.

Come on. Now, here's the thing. >> I'm ready to take it wherever he want to take it. Cuz in my mind, I'm like, I'm I'm in I'm just I'm in my head. I'm not instead of asking me >> that I see you, you're you're interpreting. So, here's what's happening. >> We got tension in church. >> I'm a seminarian.

M >> I'm a seminarian and I'm dealing with another Christian >> and the tension is cuz both of us triggered. >> I guess there was something about him feeling overlooked, disrespected or something that happened in his past, right? So he interpreted >> my introverted nature like I literally didn't see him.

I'm in my head. >> Like so he interpreted that as me intentionally dismissing him. That's right. >> Right. And then on my end, he's coming at me with a trigger. And because I get triggered by disrespect, now our triggers >> are triggering each other. >> And it's about to be a situation.

I'm not going to bother this, but this is what's happening in the context of a lot of people's marriage. And I'll leave that alone. Come on. >> Your triggers are triggering. >> They're triggering each other. They're triggering each other. >> They're triggering each other. And pastor, you said we could be honest, right?

You said you said we don't we don't match energy. We set the standard, >> right? Yes. Yes. Yes. >> I'm still on the journey. >> You mentioned it. >> I'm still on. Y'all pray for me. Lift. Yes. I'm still on that journey. I done turned the corner. Yes, sir. >> But I'm still on that journey.

We don't We don't match energy. We set the stage. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard not to match energy. >> 100%. >> Cuz you're triggered. You know, there's a lot of stuff to go into that. >> And I want to normalize these sorts of conversations cuz second way, here's what I found.

There's this like uh there's this it's just part of it bad theology and part of it is a zeal according to knowledge. It's arrested spiritual development where a lot of second way environments reduce the nature of temptation and struggle and weakness to sin. >> So when you say yes >> I'm not perfect >> wow >> they think you're a drug addict on the side. >> That's right.

Yeah. >> You know what I mean? They think you got a baby on the way by somebody else. It's it's we have we have reduced when you reduce sanctification to moralism, >> you reduce all sorts of weakness and temptation to sin. >> And that's not always the case.

Like what I'm sharing with you is as a human, >> there's I recognize an area >> of weakness. >> Of weakness. >> That's right. >> That may not necessarily be sinful, >> but it is unhelpful if it is not managed properly. So in order for me, there's no way I could have stepped into the the responsibility >> that I currently carry without dealing with that trigger of disrespect because you can't carry influence and not be disrespect.

You can't sit in the seat I sit in and people not try you all the time. It's people that just got saved last week. >> I've been reading the Bible 30 years who will question me >> like I I I have people just got saved, >> you know, like why we don't practice the Sabbath.

I WAS LIKE, "YOU don't even know the difference between the Old and New Testament, and you ready to argue with me? Sit down. Get somewhere and sit down." >> That's right. >> But the point, the point I'm making is >> without dealing with that, >> I would not be able to faithfully steward the level of responsibility I'm carrying now.

Cuz I'd be perpetually triggered if I hadn't dealt with that degree and that dimension of uh of unresolved pain. And pastor, what you what you're saying is so is so freeing and I think this is going to help somebody tonight. You said until you deal with that trigger, >> that's right, >> you could not be elevated to the level of stewardship or be over the things you're doing now. >> Or maybe God would have still use me in that way.

Mhm. >> I just would have fumbled, mismanaged >> um my responsibility >> because I think there are people who do >> experience increase of influence >> who don't deal with the triggers and then they self-destruct. >> That's right. >> It's like Noah last they sabotage their success. >> Yeah.

It's like God in his wisdom is intentionally trying to disciple and develop us in certain areas on a timeline >> because he knows what development you need to have experience before you step into a certain chapter. >> And when you don't, >> there are instances when when you don't do that development, he doesn't pull you into that chapter.

And then there are instances where you don't do that development and he still allows you to go into that chapter. It is just you end up like Moses >> and you end up like Solomon and you end up like David. It's like, okay, I'mma use your gifts in this chapter, but because you did not deal with your own triggers, you're going to be blessing other people, but you're going to feel cursed. >> And one of the things I, you know, take from that is some of the delay may be God developing you.

Yeah. >> That may be God, >> that's right, >> grace and favor on your life. And you're frustrated, agitated like, what what's up with the delay? And God say, "Hey, the delay is due to your development." >> 100%. And this this is this is this is important, guys, because this conversation about triggers, it it produces this disproportionate reactions.

It leads to cycles of pain that keeps us in loops and we keep repeating the same patterns and running from the same things. It it produces prolonged seasons of difficulty. But everything we're saying is substantiated in scripture. >> That's right. Yes, sir. >> Substantiated in scripture. Now when a person doesn't understand I like my approach to Bible teaching there they will think I'm just now getting to the scripture >> been in it >> everything I've been talking about in in regarding triggers is there's been a hermeneutical and homalytical hover >> I love that >> over a narrative in Genesis. >> So some people like when are they going to teach the Bible?

We've been teaching the Bible >> the whole time. >> The whole time. >> Mhm. >> We went into the text pulled a theme out of the text which is triggered. had a conversation about the theme in the text >> based off of some stuff we're about to show you in the text.

Now, we're about to connect you back to the text we've been talking about the whole time. Cuz everything that we've been talking about regarding triggers is in the text. We just pulled it out thematically and we talked about the theme. Now, we're about to make a connection biblically because the way we just described triggers, we see it in Genesis 20 with Abram. >> First of all, Bible says he he goes to in Genesis 20 verse uh one says for a while he stayed in Gerard. >> Mhm. >> And there verse two says there. >> Mhm. >> When he gets to there, he said of his wife Sarah, she's my sister. >> Mhm. >> Yep.

So he calls Sarah, his sister, >> at Girardar. >> Then Aimilec, the king of Gerard, sent for Sarah and took her. >> Okay, you see that? >> Uh-huh. >> Now, let's go to Genesis 26. This is Abraham's son. His name is Isaac. >> Yes, sir. >> There's a famine in the land. >> Uhhuh. >> Besides the previous famine in Abraham's time. >> Got me? >> So, I'm about to show y'all where the famine was the stimuli.

Everything we've been talking about is in the text. >> Mhm. >> The family was a stimulant. >> All right. >> And Isaac went to Aimilec, king of Philistines, where in Jer. >> And if you go, that's verse one. If you go down to verse six, you'll see. So he stayed at Gerard.

Cuz some places you stay too long, you get triggered. >> Mhm. >> When the men of that place asked him about his wife, what did he say? She my sister. >> So here's what I want you to see. I want you to see what happened. >> Uhhuh. I want you to see when it happened.

I want you to see where it happened. I want you to see who it happened to. That's that that's it. We're just making our case. Then that we're going to close the book. >> We going to close it. >> We're going we're going to close the book. >> Yes, sir. >> I'm going to state my case and we're closing the book. >> I want you to see >> two men, >> Abraham and Isaac, >> who at two different times go to the same place, >> Gerard, >> for the same reason.

There's a famine. and do the same thing. Lie and say they wipe what they said. >> Sister, >> come on. >> Yes, sir. >> Come on. Am I in the book? >> You're in the book. You're in the book. >> I I'm in the book, right? >> Yes, sir. >> There's something that so triggered Abraham that this man lied and said his wife was his sister >> and literally was about to let another man have relationship with his wife. >> And God, >> I just got to die.

Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm about to die. >> Because Abraham's like, "Oh, they he's assuming >> and and and what he's about to say is his assumption was incorrect because your triggers cause you to make illogical assumptions and come to illogical conclusions because remember >> God like what sends a plague to Aimilec."

Aimilec like what's GOING ON? >> HE LIKE WHY YOU LIE TO ME? ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS TELL ME THIS. >> Tell me the truth. Tell me the truth. >> You just could have told me the truth. >> You tell me the truth. So this man is like, "Okay, if they find out she my wife, she pretty, they going to kill me and take her."

So they said, "Who is this? This my sister, come see me." He let her go. I got to die. >> I'm dying. I'm dead. >> Put a dead Somebody put a dead emoji. I'm dead. I'm dead now. >> I'm done. I'm fighting. I'm fighting for mine. I'm fighting for mine.

I want y'all to know. I'm fighting for mine now. Then but pastor this shows though what this shows is it shows that >> uh what we see in Abraham and Isaac is not only are property and possessions passed down >> but sometime patterns and wounds are passed down >> that's it >> not only wealth not you know sometime we inherit not only wealth >> but we inherit wounds >> yes sir >> if they are not dealt with they they are passed down and we see this we see this pattern in the life of Abraham and I >> yes sir that's powerful so it it happened for both of them and Gerard Gerard. >> So when your daddy got to Gerard, he did a certain thing.

And when you got >> And when you got to Gerard, you did a certain thing. >> So Gerard is more than just a place physically. >> It represents a place metaphorically. It represents your trigger zone. >> It's when you get to a certain place. >> That stimuli, >> it activates >> an unresolved emotional womb >> that produces a disproportionate reaction that creates Mhm. >> A cycle of pain >> that leads to prolonged seasons of difficulty. >> I told you we've been in the text. >> All the whole time. >> We've been in the text the whole time. >> Gerard represents the place >> that we get to that activates unresolved wounds. >> My God. >> For Abraham, it in Isaac, it represents a place of scarcity.

First of all, >> cuz both men arrived at Gerard during the famine. So, some of us get triggered when we deal with lack. >> Financial lack, we get triggered. >> We get triggered. >> Emotional lack. I'm not getting what I need. We get triggered. >> Relational lack. >> We get triggered. >> Or some of us, it might not even be the reality of scarcity.

The fear of scarcity triggers you. >> It's a it's what's called a money wound. >> Come on. >> Yes, sir. It also represents for them, pastor, a place of powerlessness. Cuz both men were foreigners. They lack citizenship. >> They lack status and they lack protection. So they're at the mercy of Aimilec and his people.

And this triggered the core room because some of us get triggered when we don't have power >> because you've we've had some trauma >> from people that misused and abused power. So the way we try to protect oursel is to always stay in it. >> You know, I can say the same word to two different people in church and get two different response. >> I can say submission and somebody say, "Praise the Lord."

And the somebody sitting right next to them say, >> "Oh yes, sir. >> Not doing it." >> It's not the principle, it's your past. Did you hear Did you hear what that I I can say I can say one word. I can say tithe >> and some people say praise the Lord. >> Praise the Lord. >> And then somebody else say >> because of the past. >> It's not the principle. >> It's the past. >> It's the past. >> My God. >> You got two two different people responding to the same biblical concept two different ways.

Because it's not the concept itself. >> It's the experience that you had. >> That's right. >> Place of scarcity. place of powerlessness and also a place of fear >> cuz both Abraham and Isaac felt fear that their beautiful wives made them targets. >> And so some of us when we get afraid we get triggered. >> Yeah. >> Geez.

Now I'm not going to bother this doc, but let's bother a little bit. >> Let's go. >> Let's bother a little bit. >> Abraham is the leader of his family. Mhm. >> He literally puts someone who is submitted to his leadership in jeopardy cuz he can't manage his triggers. >> Wow.

In other words, his family have had to suffer because he mismanaged this tree. >> Now, I'm not Sarah. I I can't relate to what it is to be Sarah. But if I'm Sarah, I got a problem when I come back. When aimilec send me back, >> I got a problem.

Oh yeah, it's going to be Yeah, >> it's going to be Yeah. Hey, don't touch me right now. >> That's what I'm saying though. >> You just sent me away. You just gave me away to this man. >> Hey, listen. >> We need some space. Hey, we need I need some space.

I need some space. >> I need some honest. Come on, guys. >> You can be honest with us now. >> Yeah. Yeah. I You do you hear me? You just said here you can have my wife. >> And then come No. >> Then look, she walking in the door. be like, "Hey, >> see, I told you God was going." >> Oh, he got spiritual. >> Yeah, he got spirit.

I told you God was going to do it. See, see, just I told you. Just trust God. Just trust, man. No, we f Listen, it's going to be some problem. I don't know how you going to eat these last couple days. I don't know what you f to do.

This going to be some issue. >> Hey, he start getting spot spiritual. Quick, boy. She ready. She ready to do something to Abraham. You ready? Hey, >> I I didn't say anything to you about it, but I knew the Lord was going to work it out. >> I knew God was going to make a way.

Come on. We all know people who operate with fear on the front end. And then when it works out, they want to rewrite the narrative >> like it was fake. >> Like it was fake. >> That was fear. >> I knew God. I knew God was No, you didn't. >> He had nothing to do with this.

It was all God. But y'all had some problem that Yeah. >> some issues. >> Listen, that pulled that somebody need to make a movie about Abraham. This this was a lot. This man said, "This my sister." >> And then and then when it came to Isaac, the Bible said, you know, Isaac told Aimilec, which was a uh which was a common name attributed to power kind of like Pharaoh. >> It say they were looking out the window and they saw him acting like husband and wife and said, "Man, why you lying to me?

He told him the same thing. The king was looking like, "Man, that's so why you lying to me? >> Why you lying? >> Why you lying to me? >> Lord have mercy." >> And I think this is what one of the things uh you do with triggers is you have to expose your triggers to the truth >> because triggers don't tell you the truth.

They tell you That's right. >> the narrative that your trauma has formed. >> That's good. That's good. That's good. Expose your triggers to the truth. >> Cuz they're not telling you the They're not telling you. >> The triggers are telling you Aimilec's going to see your wife. She's going to be fine.

They're going to kill you. They're going to take you. So, it's created this entire narrative in the head that's not true. >> Yeah. >> You done created this whole narrative in your mind. >> And u and one of the things pastor I I I you know I researched on this and it talks about how there are two parts of the brain.

You have like your emotional part and then you have your logical thinking part. >> And what happens when you get triggered is your thinking part, your thinking part of your brain. Yes. >> Literally goes offline. >> It's hijacked. Yes. Uh-huh. >> So you you So So the rational >> So the rational that could keep the emotional in check >> Yes. >> is literally offline. >> And so you are you you you have to deal with your own you're at the whims of your own emotion.

You're at the mercy of your own emotions because the part of your brain >> that regulates that. >> Wow. >> Has been turned off and literally goes offline. >> Wow. That's a fact. >> And so that's why you you know when we tell people just to calm down. >> Yeah. >> Sometimes it's not that easy just to calm down, right?

Because the part that regulates that >> it's is hijacked. >> It's offline. Yeah. >> It's offline. >> It takes Paul's exhortation for mind renewal to a different place when you look at it that way. Transformed. H by the renewing of >> By the renewing of your mind. Because even when I was doing uh one of my executive uh one of my when I was going to school for my executive coaching certification, one of the schools I was in, one of the things and I can't even remember the terminology.

It was so long ago, but there's also like categories in terms of when the rational side of the brain is hijacked. >> One, how quick it's hijacked. >> And then two, how long it stays hijacked once it's hijacked. That's right. >> So some people, it takes it a long time to get there. uh but and they stay long.

Some people take a long time to get there and they stay short. Some people it take them a short time to get hijacked and then they stay hijacked a very long time. So depending on where that person is kind of in their emotional and mental development that determines how long they're going to stay hijacked. >> That's right.

Yes, sir. >> Yeah. Cuz some people stay longer. >> They stay longer. And and and and it's I think it's key and critical for us not to ignore stuff like this in scripture because if not, you'll just we'll just draw assumptions like uh Abraham was just like, you know, he was just weak.

He's triggered. >> He's triggered. >> Isaac, what is he? He's >> triggered. >> He's triggered. >> He's triggered. >> He's triggered. >> We see people like David, you know, praying what can be considered triggered prayer >> 100%. >> Lord, how long No. May his wife be a widow and his children be fatherless. >> That's triggered. >> That's a trigger prayer right there. >> Prayer. >> That's a trigger. >> Lord, >> when you asking God, Lord, I want his wife to be a widow and his children to be for David.

That's aggressive. That's >> That's >> a lie. >> Yeah. But here's what I love about David. He was able to bring that to God. >> Yeah. >> He's able to bring that to God. so that it could be dealt with and addressed. >> And so I want you to think about the night seasons >> that Abraham and Isaac had to go through that their family had to go through because they were both trapped by triggers.

Because our triggers don't just impact us, >> they impact others. And if you love it, part of loving yourself well and loving your neighbor well is addressing these wounds that are creating these triggers. Because if not, can I just speak very, if I can just speak very honestly and very candidly, just put talk about it in the chat.

Just put talk about it. >> Talk about it. >> People got to work with you. People got to live with you. Children have to be raised by you. People have to be led by you. And part of loving yourself and your neighbor well >> is not giving them away to danger, which Aimilec represents because of undelt with triggers.

The woman he's supposed to be covering, he's exposing. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. That's and and that's that's key and that's that's that's critical. So practically, what do we do? We're done. What do we do? A few things. Number one, we need to admit we have triggers.

The first step toward freedom is acknowledgement. Both Abraham and Isaac, we feel comfortable in saying we're triggered. >> They have triggered. Yes, sir. >> There's just no evidence they rectified it. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> Well, and now I'm not even going to bother this, but I think part of what would have been responsible as a parent >> is once Abraham did it happen with Abraham once or twice. >> Once I think >> once.

Okay. Um, once it happened with Abraham, he should have in a very judicious and strategic way had conversations with his sons to make sure that that generational pattern wasn't repeated. >> Cuz here's my question. I'm wondering, did Isaac just randomly I don't think Isaac just randomly >> said the same thing.

I think it's possible it was communicated to his father. Communicated to him by his father. This is what you do if you're ever in this situation. God will work it out. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> So, he didn't even see his own dysfunction because he cuz mercy rescued him from the consequences of it. >> So, sometimes when mercy rep rescues you and I from the consequences of our dysfunction, we don't see how dangerous our dysfunction is.

It's like, "No, no, no, no, bro. That didn't go as bad as it could have went, but that doesn't mean that this thing isn't as bad as it is. This is bad. >> This is bad. >> And it is mercy. >> It's mercy that you stayed married. >> Cuz a different woman in a different context, back in that context, women were almost like property, right?

A man could divorce a woman. A woman couldn't even divorce a man. But if this is 2025, Sarah probably not going back home. >> That she she's not. She's not. >> You done gave me away to a whole >> She's not. You done told this man to have his way with me >> and I'm supposed to come back home and cook chicken? >> Yes.

It ain't going to happen. >> It ain't going to happen. >> So mercy >> mercy sometimes protects us from consequences that keeps us from seeing how dangerous the dysfunction is. And pastor, I think what what uh Abraham and Isaac also represents to me is this notion that you can move on without moving forward. >> That you can move on >> without moving forward.

Like you can change geographical locations but remain >> in the same place emotionally, >> emotally and spiritually. Yes. So they moved on with their life. And I think if we're not careful, we will just because we move on, >> we feel like we don't have to address >> this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I get it. >> Because we can be flourishing over here but still be failing over there. >> 100%. Cuz geographically they moved from where they were to Gerard, right? >> Yeah. Bible limit says Isaac stayed there.

That's right. >> Yeah. So it's like, okay, you moved on. >> But Yeah. But you >> but you didn't move forward. That's right. >> Yeah. you didn't move forward and now those that are moving with you have to deal with the consequences and ramifications. >> That's right. >> Of you not >> dealing with it. >> Dealing with that dysfunction. >> No, I I get it.

I get it. And what happens is triggers unresolved wounds. Let's put it this way. Unresolved wounds always lead to the exploitation of Sarah's and Rebecca's in your life. Cuz a woman that's willing to do that for you is a good woman. >> Well, I don't even want that.

I don't want to say that the I don't like the way it came out because that's I'm not saying she should have did that. But I'm saying that the willingness to do that >> shows you the Yeah. >> Like the the I'm not saying a woman's not a good woman if she won't do that.

But somebody willing to like sacrifice themsel that way for you because you told them this is going to spare your life should never be a person that's put in a position where they have to >> sacrifice themsel for you. That's right. >> But that's what triggers do. They make you do bad things.

Unresolved wounds drive us to do bad things to good people. This a rider. Why? Why a rider? Somebody who's riding for you. Why? Why should they have to suffer? Because I've got unresolved issue. So, I got to we got to admit, we all have >> triggers. We got triggers. >> Number two, we got to assess where we are.

Are you getting close to Gerard? >> We have to have enough spiritual and emotional awareness to read our own internal GPS. >> That's good. That's >> to recognize we're approaching trigger territory. one year. Can I tell y'all another story without y'all judging me? Somebody put years ago. >> You can't be You really can't be vulnerable with Second Way, but this this is third way.

Third way, pastor. Third way, we will come by Blood, Lamb, Word of Test, Third Way. >> Um, we were we were at this uh event in New Orleans. We was in in the convention center >> and um I think it was like Essence Festival. So, we're in the convention center and uh I'm I'm walking around and I'm with a group of guys and PS and some women there somewhere else cuz they went to another party convention center.

So, I'm looking at booths and all that sort of stuff. >> So, I'm just walking I'm just walking in the convention center, right? And um most people don't realize I'm ambivert that leans introverted >> which means I love I'm not socially I love being around people >> but I need isolation to recharge. >> That's the way God wired me.

Yes, sir. >> And if I'm not okay in isolation, >> there's no way I could carry out my assignment cuz my assignment, my purpose requires me to to study. >> That's right. >> And a person that is okay with their head in books all the time is a person that's okay being by themsel. >> If you're not wired that way, it's going to be really hard. >> So, um, I had been at the thing and that's just like it ain't a church event, but it's church.

You know what I mean? everybody go to church. So it's like it was pictures and what whatever. So I'm not complaining about that. I'm just describing the the the scenario. Somebody put years ago in the church. >> Years ago. >> Okay. >> So I'm like, "Okay, it's I'm kind of at my limit.

It's time to go." So I'm walking and I'm just walking, minding my business. And then all of a sudden, imagine you walking and then somebody come grab your So the person grabbed my arm and I turn and I'm looking and I felt my right hand get intense. The Holy Ghost was moving. >> I don't know if it's the Holy Ghost.

I started moving cuz it's like grab and I'm looking at the person. I have no clue who the person is. >> And they got a styrofoam cup, eyes bloodshot. >> So I'm like, "Okay, they drunk." >> Mhm. >> So they grabbing me. So I turn. So first thing I do is I I know you're drunk.

Like I can see I know you're drunk. But my first instinct wasn't to Okay, brother. >> Mhm. >> Hey, bro. You okay, brother? Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. It was like I like jerk my arm. And he was like, I'mma give you a minute.

I'mma give you a minute. I'mma give you a minute. >> Yeah. >> I'm like, all these people in here who know who I am. This about to be all over the internet. This is what's in my head. Cuz I'm like, this guy just I'mma give you a minute.

I'm gonna give you a minute. And then I'm not going to give too many more details because I don't want to expose anything. But then basically it was a person that from like way back in the day >> that knew me and I knew who the person was once they told me.

But it been like 30 years. So I you you understand what I'm saying? >> But here's what I did. I was so uh so so this is what happened, right? Okay. So this happened. Then I'm like, "Okay, it's time to go." >> Mhm. >> So we we walking out again.

Then Seth comes up to me. Seth's my oldest son. And Seth wire like me. He be chilling. Seth hot. He running hot. >> Yeah. >> I said, "What happened?" He said, "Man, I just thought I was about to have to put hands on this guy over mom." I said, "What happened?"

He said, "We were walking and uh" he said, "I was walking behind mom and this guy walked up to her and just like grabbed her, you know, like grabbed her arm just like this right here." So he said, "I go up to the guy, >> unhand her, unhand me now." >> Unhand my mother. >> He say he walks up and he knocks the dude hand and he was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We we went to school together." She didn't recognize him initially, but it was somebody from college. >> He was drunk, too. >> Uhhuh. >> Cuz you shouldn't grab any woman like that. So he was like, "My my bad, man." She's like, "Yeah, this my son." He was like, "My bad."

And this Seth said dude stick out his hand stick out your hand like Seth said. >> So he comes and tells me that >> so right this experience happened with this guy. I get hot. I come down. Then he tells me this. Now I wasn't using this language. >> I'm recognizing I'm getting too close to Gerard. >> That's right. >> No, no, no.

Really? It's time to go. >> It's time to go. That's good. Oh, that's good enough. Wow. >> See, I I'm trying to paint a clear picture. >> That's clear. >> Because integrity isn't always restraint. Sometimes integrity is wisdom. >> It's not just restraining impulses, man. >> It's wisdom to say, "I'm getting too close to Gerard."

Not saying, "I can't control myself, but why put yourself in that position? Let him who thinks he stands take heed unless he falls." You got to recognize I'm I'm getting too close. That's wasn't >> cuz if I would have saw that guy, we'd have had to talk. >> Then I had some people with me >> and didn't want to talk. >> Whatever way it went.

That's the way it went. Way it went. That's the way it went. >> And and >> but you have to discern. I'm getting I'm close. >> I'm close. >> I'm too close to Gerard. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm close. >> And many people >> act unwisely. ungodly, unbiblically, because you can't sense, "I'm getting close." >> So, you're in the middle of a marital argument >> and you can't sense I'm getting close. >> Yeah. >> You need you need to shut down.

Now, you're about to say something ungodly, unhelpful. >> Can't take back. >> Yeah. That you can't take back cuz you don't realize, as you said, that mind can get hijacked. >> This is Yeah. Oo. >> Yep. Now, I don't need Pharisees lecturing me talking about if you walked in the spirit, you don't I love you, but you're just You do you.

Yeah, I'm you. You do you. Yeah, you do you. You do you. And uh I'm actually in a season where like the Holy Spirit really has me a little more third way, >> a little more like addressing even that spirit of the Pharisee a little more directly >> because without confrontation and correction, there's no opportunity for change. >> So if we just keep capitulating >> to that arrogance, then what happens is we're enabling that behavior >> to keep.

And one of the things that Jesus did is he he would correct it, >> would he not? He'd be like you. He called Herod a fox. And yeah, he say you're like your father, the devil. So like I'm I'm not I'm not going that direct with people, but I am recognizing, hey, there's a degree of of spiritual arrogance and ignorance that you're operating with.

If you feel like you outgrow >> temptation, >> even Jesus was tempted. So part of spiritual maturity isn't outgrowing all. You may outgrow some temptations. You don't outgrow all temptations. Part of spiritual maturity is temptation management. >> Dominion where the Holy Ghost >> actually enables you to have dominion over an impulse. >> And if you think that you are that you ever get to the point you're impulse free, I'm okay with you having that conviction with you. >> If you try to put that on me or us, you're wrong.

You're out of line. You're out of place. And you just kind of need to do you. And uh then when it all fall apart uh for you, we'll pray for you. >> Yeah. Cuz it will. >> Yeah. >> When when you get confronted with the reality of your own humanity, you will.

But sometimes deliverance is not just the absence of desire. It is desire management. >> Management. >> It is there's something in my flesh that wants to respond a certain way, but I am governing my activity with the power of the Holy Spirit, >> and the spirit is what's going to guide my my decisions.

So I think, you know, I think for those of us that are called to third way, we can't um >> we can't respond to the spirit of the Pharisee in a way that's not consistent with the way Jesus did. >> So I so I'm dealing like really really directly with that in this season.

So if you sense a sift like shift like man PD kind of taking it there. Yeah. The holy as I step more fully and get a greater revelation of what it means to be a third way pastor >> and that is hey don't look at what people are doing in culture only. look at what Christ is doing in scripture and then model your pastoral ministry after that.

It's like, man, he didn't plate and apologize to all of these. We had a situation >> not too long ago like uh you know, we do this disciplehip thing with made men >> and uh we had a last year we're doing it completely different this year, but last year we had a uh we had a situation where it was just so many people.

We tried to do it again in our um morning worship services, the make man pinning ceremony. Yes sir. >> And so made me a 12week disciplehip program we we take men through and we've got three levels now. It was 100 which is uh one level of teaching. Then there's 200 which is another level of teaching.

So we had 100 and 200. We just had a bunch of men. And so those we tried to do it in in the service and it was just a nightmare. It was just so many people and our church was is growing and busting at the seams or whatever.

It's just wasn't really a good experience. And um so we're doing it completely differently. We're not doing it on a Sunday morning. We want to accommodate everybody. And uh when people don't have good experiences, like my tendency is always like to apologize. >> And I was about to create this video and send it out to the guys and apologize.

And the Holy Ghost >> said, "Don't do it." >> Say, "Did you hurt somebody?" I'm like, "No, but I feel like we could have done something better. Did you hurt somebody?" Said, "No, I I didn't hurt anybody." "Did you sin against somebody?" "No." "Were people financially, spiritually, or relationally injured because of something you did?"

I was like, "No, I just feel like we could have done it better." How could you have known it was going to be like that? Have you ever done this before? I said, 'I didn't. >> It's like, and here's here's what the Holy Spirit said. Not that some people emotionally weren't impacted.

Here's what he said. The spirit said to me, "You are taking men through a process >> that is challenging them to be more mature and objective. If one bad experience at the end of a ceremony causes them to carry so much animus that they overlook the fact that y'all wrote curriculum for them to change their life that other men dedicated 12 weeks of their life to coach them. that you took hours out of your schedule, not just to write that curriculum, but to reid write that curriculum yourself, >> to record all those videos yourself and to curate an experience to help them be better.

If that one thing that didn't go right with the ceremony causes them to question your love for and your commitment for them and you apologize for that, all that's going to do is cause them to continue that kind of behavior with a wife and their kids. So your wife been with you through thick and thin and one day you come home and the stake ain't right.

And now you going off because now she didn't hurt you. He just didn't get what you want. And you going off because yeah, those kind of men need to sit in a fence. >> So they need to stay in their feelings cuz it mean the program didn't do for you what it should have did. >> Wow. >> So some of these here's here's the point.

Some of this stuff is is is is is uh um things that we need to um make sure that we aren't ena enabling. So people can have experienced trauma. It can make them a certain way like cuz phariseism is a trauma response >> and um we got to make sure we're correcting that, not enabling that.

All right. So what's our point? We on number three. >> Yes, sir. >> Address the trauma. >> Address trauma. And pastor too, I throw this out here and see what you think about this. This is so important. we address it because I believe in some instances not to minimize trauma sometimes trauma can become trophies that we refuse to address. >> That's right.

That's right. That's right. >> You know that's right. >> We you it it has become such a part of us. >> We have normalized it. >> Yeah. >> So to deal with it and to get rid of it >> Yeah. >> will make us feel like less than who we are.

Yeah. So, and I think when we get normal because we've been in dysfunction so long, >> normal or normacy begins to feel like dysfunction. >> That's right. >> Because we have uh made trauma into a trophy. >> You said something there. You said something there. Which stops us from addressing it. >> Which stops us from addressing it. >> Yeah.

Cuz I can always go back to that and use that as an excuse. >> That's right. >> Not to address behavior or change >> that the Holy Spirit can empower me to address. you know, >> no, that's good. That's good. So, sometimes we got to recognize faith without works is dead.

And uh it means like I got to bring my pain to the presence of God. Sometimes I have to take advantage of healing and transformational individuals or entities and resources that God has created and put in place as a means of grace to help me get better. So, one of the things that you do is you're a certified grief recovery specialist.

Yes. >> Because here's what we realize is that people experience loss >> and people sometimes need more than prayer to help them process loss properly. So God makes provision to serve other people by giving people like you the aptitude and the education and training you need to walk people through a season of lamentation. >> Mhm. >> Prophetic lamenting where they go from hurt to wholeness. >> But we must be willing to do more than say I'm working on it and praying about it. >> And that's what that's what h that's what happens a lot in religious circles.

Yes, sir. >> I'm praying about it. No, you need to talk to somebody about it. You need a spiritual director. You need a and and we may need a therapist. And it's like, well, that's going to cost resources. And it's one thing when a person doesn't have them.

I get that. >> It's another thing when a person has the resources but won't allocate the resources to invest in themselves. So, it's just like, okay, you and your husband or you and your wife, y'all keep going on vacation, and then you get back, you still don't like each other. >> And that could have been a year of therapy. >> Wow. >> Yeah.

You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. I was like, "Hey, that that trip to Cancun, that trip to Cabo, that trip to the Mald, that didn't fix that didn't fix the relationship." >> Yeah. It distracted you >> for the week that you were there. And then once you got back, >> you went back into the same situations and scenarios.

And so, there has to be a willingness to to address the to address the trauma. >> And last but not least, we got to adjust our narrative and response. Once we've admitted the triggers, accessed our proximity to Gerard, addressed the underlying trauma, we got to change the story we're telling ourselves.

Both Isaac and Abraham had an internal narrative that said, "I'mma die if I tell the truth." >> Wow. >> So, the narrative now that they created justifies their behavior. >> So, my question is not just what is the trigger that has us trapped, is what's the story that we continue to tell ourselves >> that has us trapped?

Israel stays stuck in the wilderness in Numbers 13 when they could have occupied promise the promised land. Why? Because of the story they told themselves. >> We're like giants in their eye. We're like grasshoppers >> in their eyes and in our eyes. In our eyes and in their eyes also. >> So my prayer for all of us and I'm getting ready to pray.

My prayer for all of us is that God by his spirit would expose. This is my prayer >> that he would expose and then give us the courage, the clarity, the wisdom >> to address >> these things that may not be wicked, but they're wounds and it's keeping us trapped and it's keeping us in night seasons.

That that's my prayer for us during during this season. And um and I think my prayer is that God would also give you a conviction that makes you resourceful enough and resilient enough to get the help >> because sometimes people become victims when it comes to changing their own life, but they become resourceful when it is like I want a vacation.

You we figure out how to get a vacation, >> but we don't figure out how to get better. >> That's right. >> And I think um I pray that God gives us the what does Proverbs say? The heart of a king searches out a matter >> and may God give us the heart to search it out. >> All right, man.

That's our time. We went long today, but this was a very important and dense and uh I enjoyed this discussion. >> I did too. >> And so we like to conclude our time together uh with a time of giving >> and um sewing seed into into the ground, investing in that which is adding eternal value to us.

And if this teaching ministry is doing that, um we know uh the Bible's like very very clear that God will not be outgiving. >> It's just that simple. And he honors generosity and uh and um offerings are an opportunity to to to say, "Hey, um all of it belongs to you, but I am willingly choosing to give you a portion of what you allow me to keep." >> So as we give today, we give with that in mind.

The Lord bless you, keep you is our prayer. We'll see you next week for the next lesson in night school. Take care. >> Take care.