Does God Really Love Me? | Francis Chan

So, this is my daughter, Mercy. And uh I have five daughters. She's number three. And uh so I just flew in from Orlando. She flew in from San Francisco. We met here. And I was just excited. I was like, "Oh, I get to lead with my daughter today."

And seriously, the whole flight over here, I was just a little giddy, like, "Oh, this is cool. I get to be with Mercy." But the crazy thing is she's my next door neighbor, too. So, I see her like every day. We were just been gone from each other for a few days.

And uh I know it's super weird. She's married, got two kids, and I just I I I won't let her move more than a house away. Um, but you know how you have different relationships with each of the kids and it goes up and down and different things.

But I would say with Mercy, um, yeah, it's just always been steady. We've just always been deeply in love with each other and we've kind of traveled the world together. And uh I said, "Man, I really want you to to lead us in in worship at the end."

And um but I also brought her up here because um yeah, I I remember when she went away to college. Oh my gosh. Like for two weeks, I was just a wreck. I I really was. I I just didn't know I seriously didn't know how to function. And then when she got married, I was so mad.

I really was. No, I I love Peter now. But uh I just thought, "No, we're supposed to travel around longer." And you said you didn't really want to get married yet and then you go falling in love. And and I just remember that wedding day just giving her away and just sobbing, sobbing, sobbing.

And then the father daughter dance and I cried through the whole thing as I just held her. But I wanted to bring her up here first cuz I wanted to ask you a question. Does your prayer life look anything like this? Be honest. Is this how you feel when you pray?

Just absolutely secure. Seriously, think about your time with the Lord this morning. Did it look like this? Sometimes when I get alone with the Lord, I I don't start off like that, you know, but I I go, God, that's where I want to get to. See, for so much of my life, I didn't get that.

Even as a pastor, I didn't understand like like this is what God wants from me. And and even when I would get alone with God, I I I felt like I was was trying to reach up and bring him down. Come on. Please, please, please forgive me of the things that I've done.

I'm sorry I didn't get up that EARLY OR WHATEVER IT IS. I'm And it's like, can can I please just get a little bit of you? I didn't see him as this LOVING FATHER WHO'S LIKE, you know, desiring me. And it's WEIRD BECAUSE I KNOW like God is so holy.

I would never challenge his power. I would never wake up one morning and go, I actually think I'm more powerful than he is. That's never entered my mind. I never think I actually I'm very intelligent. I I want to challenge you that I would never think that. But when it comes to love FOR SO MUCH OF MY LIFE, I I had this like I don't know if he loves me as much as I love mercy. cuz I know what I feel for that girl.

But there WAS LIKE THIS SIDE OF ME THAT GOES, "DOES DOES he I I didn't believe he loved me like that, desired me like that, even though the Bible said that. Even though THE BIBLE SAYS, "NO, I'M THE ONE THAT'S KNOCKING ON THE DOOR." And but but I'd be IN THIS ROOM LIKE TRYING TO GET to him somehow. this holy God.

It's only been the last few years where I've been understanding his love and his grace and his desire for me. And and I I've been learning that that I don't have to reach up to him because if I believe the scriptures, I mean Jesus says in John 14:17, he says he talks about the spirit of truth whom the world cannot see because it neither sees cannot receive because it neither sees him nor knows him.

You know him for he dwells with you and will be in you. Okay, that's fascinating. Okay, sometimes when we talk Holy Spirit, it's like, oh, Holy Spirit this, Holy Spirit that. We're talking about a member of the Trinity. HOLY, HOLY, HOLY GOD. AND THEY'RE SAYING, "HOLY GOD IS ACTUALLY GOING TO ENTER into your body.

God himself is here and he's in me." And and a few verses later, Jesus says in verse 23, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word and my father will love him and we will come to him and make our home with him." >> So, so if I believe, if I tremble at the word of God and I go, "Well, God said that."

And then when I get alone with God, I don't have to. It's it's a lack of faith that says, "Please come down here." When his word says, "Did you not believe me? I'm inside of you. The father's and son have made their home with me. The Holy Spirit lives in me.

And I don't look up to heaven like I'm trying to bring him down. He's already told me, "God, you're in this room. You're with me. And your word says that you're rich in mercy." That means like you long to forgive. like you're rich in that. Like you're you're going, "Okay, Francis, just come come.

Please confess things because I just want to I want to forgive you." I mean, for years, IF SOME OF YOU GUYS THAT FOLLOW MY TEACHING, YOU'D HEAR ABOUT HOW I TALK ABOUT THE THRONE OF GOD, AND I BELIEVE ALL OF that still, and how there's lightning and thunder and fire, and the angels, 100 MILLION ANGELS, AND THEY'RE COVERING THEMSELVES UP, AND they're screaming out his holiness.

It's like, "Wow, that's a holy throne." BUT FOR SOMEHOW SOMEHOW I missed that Hebrews 4 4:16 or 146 let's see I really missed it. I think it's 4:16 says that uh that when we come before him I'm gonna find it. Yeah. 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need.

You guys know, anyone who's heard me teach even for a few years, you know, I'm I'm like obsessed with the throne of God and just this holiness and the intensity and and the thought of what's IT GOING TO FEEL LIKE when I die and I COME BEFORE THAT THRONE AND THERE'S LIGHTNING AND THUNDER AND FIRE COMING FROM THAT THRONE.

LIKE WHAT? THAT'S ANY second for us. any second it could happen to me tonight that I'm before the throne. That is absolutely true. But it's also absolutely true that we can with confidence draw near to the throne of grace. I I miss that somehow. I miss that. It's the throne of grace. grace when he just he wants to bless.

He wants to give. That's who our God is. And he says you so you can receive mercy and find grace in your time of need. He calls his throne the throne of grace. It's like the other day I was driving by a restaurant and it called House of Noodles.

Okay, obviously I would notice that. And it would be weird for me to walk in. I'm like, "Hey, any chance you have noodles?" Right? So, so here he's saying come with confidence to my throne of grace. So for me to come to God after his word tells me that he dwells in me and that he's been knocking on the door, pursuing me and wanting me to come to his throne of grace.

See, this has made me so much more excited in the mornings to come into the presence of God because I know I'm loved and I just get alone. I go, God, you've been waiting. You're in me and you just want to pour grace on me. That is crazy. you want to minister to me and my my imagination's like going nuts with what could happen in the presence of God like like I I hope you are still thrilled to come into the presence of God because sometimes we get excited about these big gatherings and and the bands everything else and the emotion and I love it I love the energy I LOVE GETTING TOGETHER with the body of Christ but I tell you I don't know what I do without my time alone with him where I just sit there and he is so real to me.

So real to me. There's this passage in um 1 Corinthians chapter 2 that I I that I wrestled with. Okay. 1 Corinthians 2:9. as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him."

Okay? Right? You guys have seen that passage. I've taught this passage and I I would tell the church, I go, "Hey, hey, DO YOU REALIZE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT NO EYE has seen, no ear has heard, or the heart of man imagine what God has something prepared for us, but we we we we we can't see it.

We don't hear, we can't imagine it." And and I remember preaching that, talking about our future, and then someone in my church says, "Hey, pastor, I think you missed something." Did you read the next verse? It says, "But God has these things God has revealed to us through the spirit."

Wait, he has revealed this to us through the spirit. Wait, but he says no eye is seen, no ears heard. But then he goes, but God has revealed it to us. There's something he can reveal without it going through our eyes. It didn't go through our ears. It didn't go through our cognitive thinking. somehow he can put just this understanding of what's coming to us, what he's prepared for us, and he goes, I can impart that to you through the spirit to where you walk away that morning.

You go, I didn't hear anything. I didn't see anything. My mind wasn't even like like I I but somehow like at the core of my being, I just knew that I was in the presence of God enjoying such security in his embrace and I didn't want to leave.

And he's saying, "Yeah, that's what I have prepared for you. I let you taste it." And you're like, "But I can't I don't know how to write down what I just experienced. I because I can't describe to you something I saw. I can't describe to you something I heard like a a voice from God.

I I I I IT'S NOT LIKE I SAW HEAVEN. I'M JUST TELLING YOU LIKE I KNOW I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD AND I DIDN'T want to LEAVE CUZ I JUST FELT SO safe and everything ELSE WAS JUST GONE AND I'M JUST THERE loved by him. And he says, "I'll give that to you through my spirit."

That's what I'm praying for tonight. You know, Matt was saying like there's it's not just about giving you content. It's like I, you know, you guys, we're we're in this age where people pick churches based upon how well the speaker speaks or how well the band leads. And and and so a lot of us are content if it was a good message and good singing, we go home happy.

And I'm going, really? Don't you want more than that? I mean, do why do you come to church? You want something mysterious? You want some sort of connection with almighty God. In 1 Corinthians 4, Paul says, "Let everyone consider us servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God.

Paul says, "I'm a steward of the mystery. Mysterious things happen." That's why it's like all I want to do is pray. All I want to do is have some space here in the hopes that God might do something in your soul, in your inner being. This is the prayer that Ephesians 3 that Matt was talking about.

The Apostle Paul, if anyone could have preached to them, and what does Paul say? I'm I'm on my knees. I'm begging him that by the by by the riches of his glory, you would just give you the strength in your inner being through the spirit so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. that you being rooted and grounded in love may have strength to comprehend together with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth.

I want you to know how deeply he loves you but Paul says I'm on my knees praying for that. He's not just preaching to I I mean even in Romans Romans is which is maybe the most important book. I I don't I don't know if that's blasphemous, but it it's like this is like the clearest, you know, so much theology in that book, but what does he say in chapter 1 11?

He's handing them 16 chapters of great theology, but he says, "But I can't wait till I see you that I might impart something spiritual to you." What is that? That's the mystery. That's what you should want when we gather together. I believe I can impart something today. The Bible says if I come and I love you that the Holy Spirit will give me gifts, spiritual gifts.

And Paul says, "Here's a letter with a bunch of theology, but I can't wait to see you that I might impart something spiritual to you." in in in and then later on in Romans chapter 5 verse 5 he says hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us like somehow God pours it directly into our hearts through the spirit the love of God I mean that's scripture Yeah.

Because some of us, WE HAVE SO MUCH BAGGAGE in our minds. Some of us, if you're anything like me, you you YOU HAD A DAD WHO DIDN'T WANT YOU. My dad gave me up for adoption. My grandma took me away before he already had the lady set up.

And no, you're not giving him away. And then when she was too old, she made my dad take me back, BUT HE DIDN'T WANT ME. and the way he would just tie me to THE TREE AND BEAT me and and just and I when he died and and and I WAS 12 YEARS OLD, I was so relieved.

AND SO THERE'S A LOT OF BAGGAGE HERE. AND THEN I HEAR, OH, GOD IS A FATHER. GREAT. And so God had to do something mysterious where it didn't go through my brain. It's somehow he poured his love into me where I just go. You saw how I was holding mercy.

I I seriously just know God every morning I want to get there just remind me every day that you are holy and that you love me and I can make it through anything. And somehow mysteriously through his spirit I believe I'm loved. For years, I would boldly proclaim, "I love Jesus."

But it was a lot harder to proclaim, "Oh, he loves me so much." And to say that with honesty. There's one other passage that I want to show you and then I want to pray for you. It's in Numbers chapter 6. You guys know the passage. You sing the passage all the time with the blessing, the ironic blessing.

But I want you to see it in its context or hear it in its context cuz I I don't ever know what verse I'm going to use. But Numbers 6 verse 23, listen to what it says. Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, "Thus you shall bless the people of Israel.

You shall say to them, "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace." But look at verse 27. So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them.

I'm not even sure I totally understand what that means. Seriously. But God tells these these priests, "Look, just say this to them. And as you say this to them, you're going to be putting my name on them and then I'll bless them. So God, can I say this to you?

And in saying that and meaning that and you wanting to receive that, will God's name suddenly be on you? See, these are the mysteries I'm after. When I gather with the body of Christ where you walk away tonight and you go, I was so insecure when you had your daughter there and you said, whoa, me with God.

But something changed. It's like something was imparted to me. It was like the spirit just made me know that is true. God does love me and I'm secure in him. You know, I'm going to ask my daughter to come back out and just and actually just sing that blessing over you as as I get on my knees before holy God. begging him to impart that love to you.

A love that I didn't understand for decades as a pastor. I did a pastor's conference not too long ago. And I asked the pastors, "Hey, how many of you, if you're being totally honest, you're only like 70 to 80% sure that God loves you?" 80 to 90% of the pastors stood up.

This insecurity like I I don't know. I'm like if that's our pastors. It broke my heart cuz that's what the enemy has done to us. He's whispering these voices, these lies like you blew it here, you blew it there. Whereas the word of God is saying, "I'm rich in mercy.

Just please confess it to me. I'm gracious. Come before my throne of grace. You will receive mercy. You will receive grace." I'm not begging God for anything. I'm trusting in his word and saying, "God, this is what you want to pour on us today cuz he's here with us.

He's here in us. And I'm going to pray for that mystery. And if there are some of you today who say, "Yeah, I'm insecure. That looked nothing like my relationship with God. That this looks nothing like your relationship with God. And you would want the Holy Spirit to pour the love of God into your heart.

I'm going to come before his throne right now. And so if you would just put yourself in a posture of receiving in faith. I think it's Luke 8 where there the crowds were pressing in on Jesus, but that one woman was like, "No, I'm going to touch him."

Be that woman tonight where you believe and go, "No, God, I must have you as I pray for you and mercy sings over you. The Lord bless you and keep you, >> Jesus. >> Make his face shine upon be gracious to you, >> oh Jesus. >> Lord, turning >> face toward you.

Come Holy Spirit. >> Oh Jesus. Amen. Amen. Amen. >> Heal your wounds. The Lord bless you and keep you upon you. Make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

May his favor be upon you in a thousand generations. Your family and your children, their children and their children. May his presence go before you and behind you and beside you, all around you, within you. He is with you. He's with you in the morning, in the evening.

You're coming and you're going. You're weeping and rejoicing. He is for you. He is for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. He's for you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. We believe. We say amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Father, you are our only hope. Holy Spirit, we need you to pour the love of God into our hearts. And we don't want emotion. We don't want hype. We want something real that comes from heaven. That the spirit internally would just call out to our spirits that we'd have strength in our inner beings. that we would together with all the saints just know the love of God which is beyond comprehension.

Come Lord. Pray for every woman watching, every woman in this room that tomorrow when they get alone with you, it would just be different. A peace, a security that you imparted to them tonight. Give them an excitement to wake up in the morning and be in a room alone with you just to have you pour your grace on them.

We praise you God in Jesus name. Amen.