What To Do If I Feel Addicted To Something | Live Free With Josh Howerton

The point of the Bible is we confess our sins to God for forgiveness, but we confess our sins to each other for healing. God wants to bless you or he will not bless who you are pretending to be. Sin may be a part of your story, but it's not your identity.

That is not who you are. When you know that someone truly knows all of who you are, that's when you know true love. God wants you to know that he truly loves you because you're the way you are. Well, hey, welcome back to another episode of the Live Free Podcast.

My name is Carlos Razo and I'm here with Pastor Josh Howardon, Mark McCartney, and special guest. And special guest Lesie Gregory. Let's kick this. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Let's kick this pig. Let's kick this pig, man. All right. What is that for the listeners? Super random.

Before the I can't believe you did that. Before the pod started, they said, "Let's get started." And I said, "Let's kick this pig." Because I was channeling my inner rural Kentucky kid. And Carlos from El Salvador was very confused. Let's go. And Mark from Colorado. No idea. Josh, would you explain to literally 99% of people right now what is Let's Hey man, when you kick a pig, it starts get it moves.

So it's another it's another way to say let's go. This is a Kentucky thing. We said that in rural Kentucky. Yes, we did. Let's kick this pig. Oh, I learned something new already. That's awesome, man. Well, hey, how's everybody doing? Wait, can I introduce Leslie? Please do. So, we're getting ready to message this week was on John 4.

Um, honest to God and getting freedom from addiction or just like habits that people are like, I I can't stop doing this. And, um, Leslie Gregory, I mean this, you're like one of my favorite people in our whole church to run into in the hall. Every time I see you, it's like there's some people you're like you're glad when they go and there's some people you're glad when they're coming.

Leslie's the second one. and it's just one of the kindest, most Jesusy men I've ever met. Um the reason that we wanted him on is because as we're talking about um getting freedom from addiction or just habits like stuff that people got, um Leslie oversees what's called regen at Lake Point.

That no shade to any other ministries at Lake Point, uh when I'm standing in the lobby, those are the most frequent and powerful stories I hear. is our ministry that helps people. What's your one-s sentence explanation of regen, Leslie? It's a 12step disciplehip program that helps people find freedom.

There you go. That's it. So, we're g we want Leslie on to kind of dive deeper into this and so we'll get there later, but we're really glad to have you, Leslie. Absolutely. Yeah, man. We have a great episode ahead of us. We will be addressing obviously John for addiction.

We'll be talking about your I want to hear more about your White House trip, bro. That was crazy. Caused no controversy in in no place. It didn't for me. Okay. it didn't internally for me. Well, we we we'll talk about it. And then uh we'll also address the the other controversy of the the blue backpack versus the pink backpack social media post uh and more.

So stay tuned. And by the way, before we go there, you you got Well, I was just going to explain I did we're going to we've never done a react video to my own video. That's great. Awesome. there was like a I posted a quick reel um and there was a little a little you know uh controversy or infighting in the comments and I actually thought man this is actually a pastorally important discussion and so I actually want to clarify why I did that and why I think it's important so we'll come back to that later it's going to be good um we also before we start man we had a pretty strong response with the show notes last week we did so yeah it seems like it's uh so let us know in the comments section so this is what we're doing basically every episode there's people asking hey like what about the Mark, what what Bible verses are we using or you know what was that thing that was said was let's kick this what yeah what was it academic that's not going to be in the show notes where's that from again let's kick this in that's very all the important things like that it's going to make it in the show notes that's a PDF document that you can download right now you can go to lakpointurchfree or you can go to the link in the description as well and and we're going to pick 10 winners every episode and we got some free merch for them as well Josh you're going to you brought some merch today man you want me to for our YouTube.

Okay, so first of all, shout out to Lakeoint member Gus Antos, who owns like 87 companies in DFW and they're all great. Uh Gus, he just he made these uh I don't want to model it poorly, so like that's great. He made these for our YouTube. Which camera is it?

Is that the camera? He made these uh some Lakeoint merch, shipped them to the Howardon fam. The Howardon kids have been running around with them and every everywhere we go, people are like, "That's amazing. Where do I get that?" So, we got a box of a few of these left and what do they do to potentially get picked to get sent one of these?

So, download the show notes. Our team will pick 10 winners this episode and also let us know in the comment section if that's helpful. So, this is really encouraging, man. Um, before we keep going, also we had baptism weekend last week. Amazing. That's insane. Huge celebration. Insane. I think leading into the weekend, we just saw by far the most salvation we've ever seen at a Easter in my entire life.

It was like we had a day of Pentecost at Easter and then going into the weekend we already had it was over 400 pushing between 400 and 500 people that were pre-registered to be baptized and then an enormous number of people who responded on the spot in repentance to like man Jesus saved me I need to go do and there's just nothing like standing there worshiping and watching hundreds of people for people that are probably seeing that are in there asking, "Hey, is that normal?"

Like, you know, do churches is this what churches? Like, what would you guys say? Like, seeing hundreds of people getting baptized stuff here, 3,000 people? I've never seen it before. Absolutely. We want it to be normal, of course. But it's uh it's a move of God. And it's one of those things, too, where just being in the room's there's nothing like it. just that celebration, the joy on people's faces, like you literally see that death to life moment in their faces.

It's it's awesome. It's amazing, dude. And you always every time we do it, my favorite ones are like if you stay a certain services, there's more baptisms than we can do in the service. So, like obviously I'm staying after cuz I'm preaching the next service, but it's like my f the best ones are it's like 6 minutes after service ends and people are still getting baptized and then you you always there's some dude in his khakis and his button-up shirt and you know the spirit moved on that guy in the service and he just went, I got to I got to walk in obedience today and there he is in his khakis and button-up shirt just here I am Jesus.

It's there's nothing like it. That's amazing. And we're getting ready for this weekend. And it's going to have a special weekend. Mother's Day. Mother's Day. So, we're excited for that. We got some surprises, but we'll keep those to ourselves. That's right. Let's go. All right, man. Let's uh let's dive in.

You guys ready? Honest to God. Week two addiction. Uh but before actually, No, I'm just kidding. Hey, tell me about the White House. Oh, yeah. Okay, so a couple things. Um first of all, let me just give a quick disclaimer. I am not in this moment asking. Here's what I noticed is when I posted about that is there's a few people who felt like oh my gosh because you posted about that that was like an endorsement of everything that that administration has ever done or anything that anybody in the administration that's not what that is.

Um, I'm there just uh, you know, I'm when you're standing with a bunch of pastors in the Eisenhower building where, by the way, as a US history nerd and a World War II history nerd, I'm like Winston Churchill was in this room with President Eisenhower figuring out how to beat the Nazis.

It's like, that's a little surreal. And you're standing there with 60 or 80 pastors. And I I mentioned this like I'm like tears like rolling down my cheeks because we're singing the song. It's it's Tomlin. All thrones and dominions, all powers and positions, your name stands. I'm emotional right now.

Your name stands in the White House. And it's like, yep, this is how this is supposed to work. Um and no matter what anybody thinks about the other things, that that's a different discussion. Uh it would be hard for me to overstate how encouraged I was by what the um White House faith office is doing right now.

Like I may talk about that more later and there are some things I'm not sure are public yet, but there are things that they're doing right now that are going to affect our children's children. Wow. Uh and the church for generations to come. And so man, I just left like praise God. like bless God, you know, my heart was very moved.

That's awesome, man. That is great. That's amazing. It was cool. And here and at the end I they I got pulled down into a little smaller conversation down in the West Wing. So I'm like, you know, the casual, you know, just in the West Wing, dude. I mean, I'm like, it was nuts.

Uh there's only five offices, I think, in the West Wing. We walk right past We walk past this one room and I'm like, "Man, there's like a there's like a sign on that door and I'm like, "What does that say?" And all of a sudden I realize it says the situation room.

Oh wow, dude. And you know, I'm like, "They killed Osama bin Laden right in there." You know, so it's like, you know, it was just as a US history guy and a military history nerd. It was amazing. What a great It was awesome, man. That's amazing. Well, thank you for sharing that.

That's great. touch to the president's Tesla. We'll keep it was awesome. It's all the things. Well, from the White House to the book of John, chapter 4. Uh I tried to I tried to What's something creative? And I just I didn't find it. No. Well, I was hoping Mark would help me, but I was not there for you.

Okay. Well, sorry. There you go. Hey, man. John chapter 4. This is a I love this story. This is such a an amazing event uh in the Gospel of John. Let's uh let's go. Hidden gems, gold nuggets. what didn't make it to the sermon. There's stuff that didn't make it in.

And by the way, Leslie or Mark, you you you guys can chime in right here on anything. There's a couple there. Honestly, there's a lot that didn't make it in. Surprisingly, I don't think I've ever preached this passage really. I've used it a million times as like an illustration.

Yeah. But, you know, I I always go back I've got my sermon notes back to I think like 2009 and uh I was like I don't I don't think I've ever preached it. So, a couple things. Um, number one, for our Bible nerds, this passage obviously is built upon the Jew Samaritan tension and hatred.

So, you know, this part of this made it in some services, part of it didn't. Um, let me just like click on this because it's a big deal when you read the Gospels because you have the parable of the Good Samaritan touches on this this passage. So, the woman at the well is obviously Samaritan and she's like, "Ah, what's going on here?"

So, here's a little Bible history for the Bible nerds on how we got to the part where the Jews hate the Samaritans so much that they literally were essentially they were calling them the first century version of mudbloods. Like JK Rowling didn't come up with that. Uh first century Jews came up with that.

They called them half breeds. Like if you translate it, they literally called Samaritans half breeds. So what you got is if you you actually notice this next time you read the Old Testament. So Babylonian uh conquest happens and they conquer Israel in uh is it first 2 Kings uh when they do there's two groups of Jews.

So you can trace it all the way from there to Jesus. There's two groups of Jews. Some of them obey the Old Testament laws against intermarriage and some of them don't. So a bunch of them intermar with the Babylonians. When they do that exactly what God said would happen in Deuteronomy.

He was like hey do not intermar with these other nations. And that wasn't about interracial marriage. That's not what it was about. It was about interfaith marriage. And so exactly what God said would happen happened. So what those Jews did is they took part of uh of Judaism, faithful Judaism.

They married it with Babylonian pagan religion and then honestly they created a cult. So they create first of all they chopped off all the Old Testament books of the Bible except the penetuk. They were like ah we don't do those. let's only focus on the penetuk. Um, and then they created their own version of the penetuk.

So, it's kind of like Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons got their own little like special Bible. It's like a fake one. That's literally what they did is they created their own version like a cult version of the penetuk. So, this is where it starts. Now, if you a lot of people miss this, when you go and read the books of Ezra and Nehemiah, when they start rebuilding the walls and the temple, the Samaritans come and are like, "Hey, we want to help."

And Ezra and Nehemiah forbid them from helping because they're like, "Man, uh, you were unfaithful to the Lord and we can't have the the the walls and the temple tainted." And so, they forbid them uh from helping. So then here here's what starts happening. Ezra and Nehemiah from that point on, they start applying the Deuteronomic um uh prohibitions on intermarriage.

They're the first ones to apply those to the Samaritans. So they start telling faithful Jews, you can't marry a Samaritan anymore. So it starts this obviously very deep like you know rivalry there. So then because Nehemiah is rebuilding the temple, this actually takes us right into this passage.

She does this whole like little she tries to Jesus juke jet Jesus which that does not work very good. Yeah. Um yeah. So this is and she's like, "Hey, you worship on this mountain. We worship on Gazim." So here's where that came from. When Nehemiah tells the Samaritans way back in Ezra 4, "Hey, you can't help us rebuild."

They go, "Well, fine. we're just going to make our own holy city and we're gonna make our own temple. Now, that's not in the Bible, but history tells us that's what happened. So, then they go to a different city. They build their own like fake cult temple in Garazim.

So, now that that goes on for a long time. Now, fast forward to a hundred years before Jesus. There was a Jewish leader named John. I think you pronounce it Herconis. That's my best guess. Uh he leads a bunch of Jewish militants. they go in, sack and destroy the Samaritan Garazim temple in 128 BC.

So if you start thinking and again that that's when you get into by the time of Jesus um the Jews are calling the Samaritans, y'all are half breeds, you're mud bloodoods. Um I mentioned this in the sermon, but it says he had to go through Samaria. No, no, he didn't.

Right? No, he didn't. Because what most Jews did is they literally would add a threeday walk. Think about how much you got to hate somebody to add three days of walking to just not be around them like bad neighborhood. They would walk around some area. So they absolutely hated they hated them.

Yeah. So that you got that number one. I got other stuff. Do you want me to keep moving? Yeah. I mean I think that's good. Any thoughts on that, Mark or Leslie? You know, uh it's just amazing how the how the Bible continues to build and there is one overarching story and how we can cherrypick out of it.

Yes. And there's obviously good that we learn, but when we put it back into the story and see God had a plan. That's right. He had a plan the whole time and how this fits in. It's always fascinating. I don't think we appreciate enough how Jesus breaks all these cultural norms like talking going through Samaria talking to a woman in the middle of the day having a conversation about her relationships, you know, and the disciples are like, "What's going on?"

And Jesus is like, "I'm I I'm here for her. like I'm I'm here to care for her and I don't care about anybody offended. So I gota I guess here's my theory, you know, like we talk a lot about one more because Jesus leaves the 99 to get the one.

Mhm. We don't know this. This is me guessing. I think Jesus literally walked through Samaria just for this one woman. Yeah. And he knew when I get to that well, I'll get emotional talking about it. There's this one woman that nobody else will talk to. And I talked about this in the message.

She's going to the uh the well at noon, hottest part of the day, because she knew that's when nobody else will be there. And everybody else was like meanirling her and she was like, "I'm tired of getting meanled and I'll go when nobody else goes." I think Jesus knew that girl goes every day at noon and I'm going to make sure I'm there to show her the love of God.

You bet. Yeah. and how we can as the Jews did, they looked down on the Samaritans and it gave them a feeling of being above others and how we all do that. You know, we perceive ourselves greater than as we put people down and that's such a tragedy of of life really, much less religion.

Amen. Because you mentioned evangelism, um I always have, you know, I have a heart for evangelism and sharing faith with people that don't know Jesus. So when you uh when you see Jesus in this story, first of all, this is this is uh some people think this is the longest one-on-one conversation Jesus ever has in any gospel.

Interesting. So you you see that the back and forth and he's like, you know, they they talk um some like, "Hey, give me a drink." Okay, casual conversation. Then they go theology. Hey, but you worship here. And then, you know, there's just a long conversation. As you read it, it's like it's Jesus giving a master class on evangelism to somebody that doesn't necessarily know who he is.

And this is what I, you know, as I'm reading this, this is what I found. So basically here, here's five points from Jesus, uh, teaching us how to share our faith. He says he, so he goes through Samaria where people were. So instead of doing what the Jews did, he goes straight.

So he went pursued over prejudice. Oh, look at you, preacher. It's It's right there. Literally, it's right there. He does not start the conversation like straight with faith. He He doesn't say, "Hey, you know, on a scale of 1 to 10, are you going to go to hell?"

Like he says, "Uh, would you give me a drink?" So he starts with like something casual. So he's looking to have connection before having correction. That's great. He engages with her in a loving way. He's kind. He's patient. So he's he he goes compassion, not condemnation. At some point he goes from casual conversation to spiritual questions.

So he doesn't just stay superficial. So he goes from superficial to spiritual. And then ultimately he ends up he ends uh pointing to himself. So he's talking about hey the messiah is coming and he says this is me. And so always point to Jesus. Those are things. Pursuit over prejudice, connection before correction, compassion not condemnation, from superficial to spiritual, and always end up pointing people to Jesus.

Master Claus and evangelism by Jesus. That's really good. Yeah. Let me hit one other thing that I didn't get to talk about a ton that's like uh you know, I just love this kind of stuff. So when Jesus gets into this passage and you know, he's like, I who am speaking to you am he.

So that we I touched on but let me go a lot deeper when he said it's like this is the kind of thing where your English Bible there is literally no way to translate it so that an English speaker understands what's happening. So when he says I am he the Greek uh translation is I think it's uh ego ami.

Um what he's doing is he's he's literally quoting um God's self-revelation of his name to Moses in Exodus chapter 3 where God goes I am. So he's bro this is insane. So there are seven I am. The whole gospel of John is built on the spine of these seven I am statements.

Ego am ego am ego ami. And every time what he's saying is he's taking the name of God from Exodus 3 out of the burning bush to Moses. Uh who should I tell them it sent me? God. And he's like I who you know I am who I am.

All right. So first of all, sometimes you'll hear skeptical people online um who are ed, you know, they're educated past their intelligence. They they will say, "Oh, Jesus never claimed to be God." That's right, bro. The literally the whole gospel of John is Jesus going I'm him. Yeah.

I'm So he's taking God's name. I don't And in the other gospels too, he goes, "I am." And then, you know, they picked up stones and Okay. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Uh man, there's so much I want to say, but I I don't want to bog down the pot.

But the seven I am statements are fulfillments that So, when he says the I am statements in John, all seven of them are fulfillments of things God said that he was in the Old Testament. So when Jesus says in in John ego Amy I am the bread of life he's pointing back to the mana that was given that God gave the people when Jesus says um I'm the light of the world.

Every Jewish person like oh when we were in the dark God was a pillar of light he's so uh when he goes I'm the door of the sheep. If you go back to Ezekiel 34 it's like prophesied where God goes hey someday I'm going to be personally your shepherd.

So when Jesus says, "I'm the door of the sheep and I'm the good shepherd," he's literally going, "I'm the fulfillment of the Ezekiel 34 prophecy." And when David was going, "The Lord Yahweh is my shepherd. Here I am." So he's doing this resurrection of the life. Ezekiel Valley of dry bones.

Jesus going, "Hey, that was me." Way, truth, and life. All those I am the way, the truth, and life. All those are from the Psalms. And then when Jesus says,"I am the true vine," he's drawing on the Isaiah 5 prophecy that God's like, "Hey, there's going to be this I'm the vine.

I'm this vine." And so he's Jesus is drawing on all those things. Now, here's the last thing I'll say here. Um, you know, for for people who have never studied this, this is super cool, man. So, when Jesus does the ego and he's drawing on God's I am statement, that's Exodus 3.

Um that is uh Bible scholars Jew and just Jewish people in general they call it the tetra grammaton when god gives his name tetra uh in Greek is four gramma is letter so it just means the four letters so god reveals his name as Yahweh there's only four letters there y hwh or is the transliteration but the only C I ever got in all of school was in Hebrew because it's because it's the it's stinking a hard language it has no vowels Hebrew has no vowels.

So the only four letters in God's name are YHWH. What's cool about this? There's Man, there's so much. Let me let me do this just real quick. What's cool about the tetetrogrammaton is number one, the Jewish people point this out. This is this is mind-blowing. Jewish rabbis would point out that when you say the tetra grammaton yahe or they would a lot of times pronounce it yahw what how you pronounce it that is uh it's the same sounds that they would make to inhale and exhale you know kind of yah if you try to pronounce it right now it's y was yh wh wh I mean yeah it's it kind of sounds like a breath and the part of the point is God is saying like I I am your very life.

When God book of Genesis says that God breathed the ruach of life into you and every breath you take, you're breathing in and out the name of God. That name was so sacred to Jewish people. Um so, um every time you read your English Bible, you guys, I'm you probably know this, but a lot of people don't.

Every time you read your English Bible in the Old Testament and you see the word Lord and it's in all caps. All caps. Yeah. That's the tetetrogrammaton. That's why it's in all caps in your Old Testament. It's Yahweh. Jewish people considered that name so sacred. They would never pronounce it ever, ever, ever.

They wouldn't even write it. So for instance, um we will sometimes say the name Jehovah. Mhm. What Jehovah is is it takes the same four letters from the tetrogrammaton and gives it different vowels. So y hwh Jehovah is jh vh. It's just different Hebrew to English but it's the same onesh.

So like they that's and the reason they did that is because of the uh third commandment. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. So they were like to be so careful that we never take God's name in vain. We're just literally never going to say it.

And the closest we get will be Jehovah. So I here's why I say all that. That's how big a deal it is when Jesus goes looks at this woman. He goes, "Ego a me." It's like the name they wouldn't even say and they wouldn't even write. He just goes, "That's me."

M wow. And it's like the deity of Jesus's atomic bomb right there. It's amazing. That's a statement. And that's one of the reasons I love this podcast is cuz you can't go into all that. You don't have time. But we get to here and like really flesh it out cuz when going through the message this weekend like I was actually thinking of Moses because Moses was disqualified cuz Moses was a murderer.

Moses was in the wilderness and so he couldn't be used by God. In fact, when God called him to use him, he's like, "You can't use me. I can't even speak. I'm a stutterer." You know, I need I need help. And it's like just like the woman. Like the woman's like, "Well, you couldn't use me."

The shame, the guilt, overcome by it. And how no, God has a plan in a story. And that's the the Bible is not a collection of stories. It's one story. And it's actually our story. And so unpacking it like that is it's amazing. I love that. Amen. That's a good man.

There's a there's there's quite a bit of like hidden themes in in this story. I want to I want to tackle some of them. So, it's interesting because it says you got more. He just triggered one of Let me make sure I hit this because I did not get to hit this in the message.

That's like one of the best things. So, when Jesus with this woman goes, you know, hey, when you come to me, you know, I'm going to give you living water and you won't thirst anymore. So, that's again, he's drawing on an Old Testament. This is I love this stuff so much.

The big idea is the whole Bible is about Jesus. So this is the big idea. The whole Bible is about Jesus. So when he says that, he's like, I'm the living water. He's what he's drawing on is the story from the Exodus where all the Old Testament uh Israelites are out in the uh wilderness and they're like they start grumbling, Moses, we don't got we don't got any water.

What are we going to do? We don't got any water. And you remember Moses takes the rod and he strikes the rock. Mhm. And when he strikes it, living water flows out and it's enough for everybody. Now, dude, this is what's crazy is the rod is a symbol of the justice of God.

So, you see what's happening? Jesus is going, I'm the rock that was struck with the justice of God at the cross. And when God struck me with his justice, now living water flows out of me for all of you everywhere. Wow. And this is what's going on in this passage when he says that.

Am I right, Josh? That God did not ask Moses to strike it. He asked him to speak to it, but he disobeyed. He did. So, he disobeyed God. And again, it's just because of our disobedience, the son of God, the rock was struck. And so again, uh, wow.

And I'll, uh, tap in a little bit when you said connection before correction, and it's related to water. So Christ, when he said, uh, draw me some water, he was connecting to a surface or visible need to get to the real need. Visibly, it was about a drink of physical water.

But then when he asked about the husband, he was now going to the real need of what she was looking for. Amen. So that's a part of that one more and how we can relate to others from the common need which is then another part of that. We all have a need to to drink and use those common connections with people to go a deeper to get to the deeper issue of what are you really looking for?

Amen man. Amen. Leslie she had a she had a physical thirst for water and a spiritual thirst for something deeper in her soul. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, man. Um it's interesting. Yeah. No, you got more. No, I was going to say we need to get saying there's a lot of here.

No. Um, it's interesting because the Bible says that she went there at noon and so I get you spoke about this. This is the time where like nobody went this is where like the sun is shining, you know, it's hottest. And ironically though, this is noon is also the time where the sun is is at its brightest.

And so there's like a a symbolism of like exposure and bringing things to light. I'm because we have Leslie here. I'm curious, uh, why, let's let's go like something more more practical. Why is keeping your sins in the dark so dangerous? And why is bringing them to light so necessary?

Sure. Sure. We've we have a phrase and and Pastor Josh, you said this before, you know, we are we are only as sick as our secrets. That's right. And in the dark, uh, things can flourish. And I remember even during co I remember it was um it uh Henry Cloud he talked about what was so dangerous about that time is that it put people in a time of aloneeness where their brains their minds can play tricks on them.

And that's obviously something the devil uses to trick us into doing things that we wouldn't otherwise do if we had light or others that represent light or visibility. So um when someone break and it's very scriptural right we have James 5:16 you become sick when those secrets flourish and the way we break that sickness or healed from that sickness is we bring them to the light which scripture calls or says to confess and uh we we then as as we know all the rats flee when there's lights that shine and that's when uh the bondage of that isolation is broken. uh being known um as a matter of fact, people often fear u being known and loved.

Oh, if they knew that blemish was there, they wouldn't accept me. But then God uses that vulnerability when somebody sees that and says, "Mark, I I appreciate you even in the midst of that blemish." There's a real sense of healing that begins to come when when that when we're known by others.

So you you begin to have that freedom. So it basically breaks the bondage that Satan often uses to deceive us. Yeah. There's like this is huge. So like I just want to point this out for people who are listening if they especially have they listen to the message yet.

So this woman I you we used her as like an archetype of addiction because obviously Jesus hey call your husband. I don't got a husband. You're right. You've had five. And really the point is um this woman had a pattern in her life that was destroying her that she almost certainly wanted to get out of and she was like I hate this thing.

It's destroyed my life. I just can't stop. And I think almost everybody with something in their life has been there. That's right. I want to get out of this. I don't know how. I just can't stop. So notice what Jesus does is he drags her into step one of getting freedom from anything in your life.

He's dragging that thing that she's trying to keep hidden. I don't have a husband. And he's like, "Let me drag that into the light because you're never going to get free unless that thing's in the light." So like, let me just do a a little theology on this real quick.

And then I'd love honestly Leslie I'd love to hear from you and we can all chime in here of like practical things that somebody's if somebody's stuck whether that's an addiction or a habit whatever you want to call it and they're like man I'm stuck in this thing and I can't get out.

What are like the practical here's how to break that cycle and begin getting out. So let me just say a few things and let's go to Leslie on that. That's right. So here's the here's the theology behind this is uh you're going to hear this probably every week of this series and there's a reason repetition for emphasis not repetition out of the l out of laziness.

Um the theology of the Bible is that Jesus is the light of the world but uh but that Satan rules over a kingdom of darkness. So Jesus is the one that's in the light. Satan is the one that rules over the darkness. The big idea is if you try to fight the devil in the dark, you're always going to lose because the darkness is his domain.

That's how I got that from Joby Martin. If you try try to fight the devil in the dark, you're always going to lose because the darkness is domain. So the pattern of the Bible that Leslie just pointed out is, okay, well, if that's true, how do you break the power of a stronghold?

By the way, the biblical word for an addiction is a stronghold. It's referring to the same thing, but it's uh the uh but the etmology is aimed at the spiritual root of the thing, stronghold. How do you defeat a stronghold? You drag it out into the light where Jesus is. and only then does he get you are you giving him power over that thing.

So there's a very misunderstood passage in the Bible in first John 1 where it says um if we walk uh if we you know uh if we walk in the light as he as he is in the light the blood of Jesus his son covers us from all sin cleanses us and covers us from all sin.

And then it also says if we uh if we walk in darkness we have no fellowship with him. And a lot of people they think that in that passage darkness is referring to sin and light is referring uh to righteousness. But that's not true because it says if we say we have no sin, we lie and the truth is not in us.

So it's saying everybody has sin. Everybody has sin but only some people are in the dark. Well, here's the point. Um it's not saying when you walk in the light, it's not saying that everything in your life is right. is saying nothing in your life is hidden. That's people who are walking in the light.

It's not that everything in their life is right. I'm perfectly righteous. It's saying nothing in your life is hidden. Wow. And it's saying when you walk in the light, man, when I sin and I mess up, I got a band of brothers or a band of sisters and I drag that thing out into the light and I go, "Dude, I'm struggling with this right now, man.

I send this in again." And you drag it out into the light. is saying that's the moment that we begin to experientially feel the cleansing power and redemptive energy of Jesus and we start to get freedom from that thing. So this is the theology of it that we Leslie mentioned this a second ago.

The theology of the Bible is we confess our sins to God for forgiveness but we confess our sins to each other for healing. That's right. Say say it one more time so people can That's right. So, so first John 1 says, uh, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

That's talking about confessing your sins to God. So, when I and I, by the way, I just encourage that every night when you lay your head on the pillow, Lord, was there anything that was out of alignment with you today? And if so, let me just name it and receive your grace again.

We confess our sins to God to experience and feel forgiveness. But James 5 says, "Confess your sins to one another." That's correct. so that you may be healed. The point of the Bible is we confess our sins to God for forgiveness, but we confess our sins to each other for healing.

That's right. What does healing mean in this case? Leslie, you want to start talking? Let's just start giving us practicals on all right, somebody's listening and they're like, I got habits that I can't stop and I want to get out of it. Right? You know, healing is a process. it it can happen instantaneously but it's also a process over time.

So steps would be um allow yourself to be known by others but you got to put yourself in a place to be known by others in some form of community where there's authenticity and safety. You know we have regeneration programs we have life groups and u our groups are to be a place where you can be known.

So let's say recovery group, let's say if that's the first place someone might start, you want to go there so that you can take the first step of beginning to talk and share because um when James says that he he says uh let him go to the elders, in other words, other brothers or sisters, you know, in Christ that he may share.

So you need to be around others who have a spiritual representation of a Christ-c centered life and confess them to and confess. That's number one. take a first step. Secondly, you need to gain insight about why you do what you do. Wow. You know, uh and we call that inventory.

You mentioned that daily inventory. Uh each night what you we learn to do in recovery is learn to practice evaluation. You know, David says in Psalm 139, "Search me, oh God, and see if there's any wicked way in me." And then we have to confess to God for the for the forgiveness and to others to be healed especially when there's restoration when there's amends or forgiveness needed to be um practiced between another person.

So insight about thirdly the next the third step would be before you go to the third step can I ask you a question? So like you said hey you need to get insight about why you do what you do. I think a I know what you're talking about, but I think a lot of people when they hear that like, "What are you talking about, man?"

Like, "I'm gonna speak maybe a uh just bluntly." I think like, "What are you talking about, man? I want to stop drinking. It's cuz I like drinking." Okay. Or, "Hey, man. I want to stop uh looking at pornography. It it's because I got, you know, this urge." You like, "What are you talking about?

What do you mean insight into why I do what I do?" Can you give some things that people might not expect that are going down under the surface? Sure. Um, you know, we can talk about various addictive behaviors. Some people, let's say anger. Uh, you're short with your wife.

You're you you snap to your kids or you're critical of an employee. You're angry. You begin to be sure. Well, what you have to ask the question, why am I angry? Well, it's possible that you have a a job or a company that's that's on a downturn e economically and you're feeling the weight of an owner of a company and that's weighing in the back of your mind and meanwhile your child spoils their spills their milk and you you lash out at them in an uncontrolled manner that's inappropriate to the milk because the weight of your business is on your shoulder.

That's the why. And until you identify that, you can't correct the the other. For me, uh my struggle with pornography many years ago, um you know, we we live in a world that's sexually charged and it's an easy escape to feel good about yourself as a man from a man's perspective.

So for me, until I understood in part because I had a a lack of connecting with my own father, I didn't have a sense of affirmation or a sense of value that God had um designed for him to give me as a young man growing up. Well, I found pornography and it gave me a feeling of something that I didn't have and it was a shortcut to cover up a feeling of insecurity as a little boy and then ultimately as a man and then it became a oh when I'm now feeling insecure or I feel I want to just I go to that as a quick escape and until I could bring that before the Lord and say Lord only you can give me because of my insecurity that sense of value and birth.

I can't say I I have a I can't appropriately identify my my idol. We call it an idol. The idol of a sense of value until I say, God, only you can give me that value. Will you now give me that value through your spirit? Who I am as your child?

One of my my verses out of my regeneration program is Romans 8:15 where Paul says, "For you have not been given a spirit of slavery that leads to fear again, but you've been given a spirit of adoption by which you can cry out, aba, father, intimacy." And that's a very intimate term of connection.

And that's we all long for intimacy. And until we bring God into the place of intimacy, of value, we we don't have that that strength because we'll want to go to anything else that solves it in a short term to give us what only God can give us.

You know what's really interesting just as you're talking is it's like that's exactly what this woman in John 4 was doing. That's why Jesus goes, "Hey, you keep going to these these five different men." And he's like, "Man, none of them are satisfying this thirst in you. You're trying to satisfy an infinite thirst with a finite drink."

Absolutely. And he's like, "You can't." And essentially Leslie's going, "That's everybody, right? That whatever this addiction or habit is, you're not doing what you think you're doing and you're trying to satisfy this thirst with that thing." So I just see that it lays right on that John 14 thing.

So I interrupted you. Third thing that you Third thing is the accountability that's needed. It's one thing to confess and that goes a long way because we build a sense first of all you know we have to have a brokenness. I know I've heard you say it many a time until we're on our back we can't look up until we come to a place to say I now cannot do it.

One of our first steps is realizing nothing good in me can accomplish um you know what God would would honor God and honor the relationships and values that I want. I can't do it. I need another source. So I I need to look up. So when I begin to look to God, he gives me that sense of identity.

But then he also gives me other people to help me to do those practical things through accountability, practical plans uh to change those things and which often is a part of that process. We may need to change some actual habits um friendships, places we go because those things will trigger the short-term solution that doesn't bring you good.

It dishonors God and it brings pain in in your relationship. So accountability is extremely important, man. It's like um what I've noticed, Les, I don't know how you feel about this, is like I think there's a lot of people that they want they want freedom, but they don't want to do what it takes to get the freedom.

That's right. So then you know what you see in the scriptures to what you just said, it's like, hey, how do you get freedom and healing? You confess your sins to one another, which obviously implies relationship, vulnerability, and accountability. That's right. And you know what I've noticed like I'll pray with people in the lobby and um a lot of people are like, "Oh man, I just want God to deliver me from this."

And you know, sometimes I'll if I sense that, especially if it's a man that can receive it or if it's somebody that's dire in a bad spot, I'll like risk a very abrasive thing and I'll say, "Man, watch out." Because what a lot of people is they want God's outcomes without God's system.

That's right. That's right. And God's system for the freedom you want is relationship, vulnerability, and accountability. Right. Right. Especially men. Especially men. That's great. And that's so hard. One of um we don't understand it, don't realize it, but pride is a is a is a type of web that's woven through all of these.

Pride keeps people from that accountability. Starting with vulnerability. Men are very often very averse to that vulnerability, much less accountability because of pride. And we know that's what's the very center of the fall of man and the fall of Satan was pride. Mark, I've especially know especially because your dad's um you know influence and promisekeepers and and I've just seen this in your life. like you want to talk just real quick about the role of like a band of brothers in you know anybody's life but especially a man's life.

Yeah. I mean it's it's essential. I think one of the reasons why is is pride and shame because what happens is we're all jacked up. We all have issues. We all have things that we struggle with. And what what men often do is they they think, "Well, no one's no one's having the thoughts I have.

No one is thinking about doing this late at night. No one has done whatever fill in the blank. And when you get that stuff in the light and when you get with brothers and you realize, oh my gosh, you're you're like me, you have that thought, too. That's right.

So, what how what do you do? And what what I've noticed, especially when you can get a group of men together, is they can really actually really quickly get through the stuff once they realize you struggle, I struggle, they can get through it and they can go to that idea of now we can confess and now we can get healing and we can live in the light.

And um I love to see when men start to get honest with it because what happens is they start to see I actually have a vision for my life. Men, men want to win. That's right. They want to see a challenge that they can win. And when they get around a band of brothers who have the same vision for life, I want to be a great dad.

I want to be a great husband. I want to be someone who serves. I don't want my anger to flare up all the time. Then they start getting on the same page and really just kind of like almost being a team where they together they they go after that.

And I love seeing that. It's like the It's always been interesting to me that so the biblical word is a stronghold. Yeah. Yeah. And then the the gospels will use the analogy of um Jesus comes uh he has to bind the strong man, you know, to set you free.

That's right. And you know, the analogy the Bible uses, hey, if if somebody notices like, man, man, um I've been wrestling with a sin. I've been trying to get out. I've been praying. I you know, I've been moving in this direction to try to escape and it just won't go away.

That's that's one of your hints that you're not dealing with a sin. You're dealing with a stronghold. And the biblical analogy is it's a stronghold when it's stronger than you. And it's kind of like the analogy I'll use and it is kind of a guy analogy. It's kind of like, hey man, at some point like it it's like a it's like a free safety trying to tackle Derk Henry.

It's hey you're you're not going to win that. Yeah. How do you tackle Derrick Henry? You got to gang tackle him. Mhm. And it kind of the the the implication is that for everybody, not just men, for everybody, there are some sins that they've been in the dark long enough and they've had enough fuel for enough time.

It's bigger than you now, man. And you need some brothers around you so you can gang tackle that thing because you are not bringing it down by yourself. That's right. That's right. And and with that gang tackle is a sense of camaraderie, affirmation, and a sense of um applause because we need we need cheerleaders in life.

We're not designed to be alone. And God uses that sense of um affirmation and support from others that say, "Great job. You can do it." And and that gives us a strength and and that's a way God speaks to us through the words of others in that journey.

And that's very practical, like getting together with a group of men and fleshing this stuff out. What what I love too is the Bible says in James that he gives wisdom generously to all without finding fault. Like God will give you wisdom. And when a group of men start to get and of course women too, but we're in this context, we were talking about men. when a group of men start to get together and start to pray wisdom for each other.

I actually met with a guy this morning and he's like, "Hey, I really need wisdom in this situation right now." I'm like, "That's great." Cuz you know who gives that? God. And you know who he gives it to? All without finding fault. You don't have to earn it.

He gives it generously because he wants you to say, "I can't do this. I need to come to you and ask for wisdom." And then when you do it with other people, they see through blind spots that you may have and they help you take those steps forward.

That's great. Well, we want to help people take an actual next step. Obviously, somebody's listening right now. We know for a fact people are listening like, "Man, I need that. I don't think I have that. I need that." And so, uh, Leslie, we have we have regeneration groups, region groups available.

And so, I mean, we want to help people actually do something right now that we want to invite you. text the word groups to 20411 and tell us more about how how that works. Like if somebody's like, "Ah, tell me more." Like, you bet. Regen meets every Tuesday at all of our campuses at 6:30 p.m.

And um you just show up and you'll be guided to first of all um the first part of the the program um is a testimony and you'll you'll hear just somebody's own story of how they've practiced some of these principles that may relate to what you are going through either directly or indirectly. and then they'll guide you to how to work the program through the disciplehip process.

So, um, so, dude, and if man, if you've never been to a region gathering, it's the best worship in the whole church. I no shade to anybody else, that's the best worship in the whole church because here's what I love like that those people are worshiping like they got set free from something.

Yeah. They're worshiping like they actually got saved from something. And every now and then I'll make a little joke about it in a in a message. It's not that they're worse than you, it's that they're more self-aware than you. Like they're not worse than anybody else in the church.

Oh, they got saved from more. No, they didn't. Yeah. They're just more aware than you of what they got saved from. That's right. And so, dude, you go in there and it's like it's the best worship in the whole They're rowdy. That's amazing. Yeah. Mark touched on it earlier.

The the power of knowing you're not alone. But such as common to man, we all face various struggles and other people have the same struggles. And when you realize you're not alone, that's a you that's a huge u barrier of what we call uh shame or guilt. Oh, it's just me.

It's not just you. It's common to others. And so don't let Satan use that type of guilt or shame keep you from taking that first step. The other thing real practical get back to you is man what we do know that's why we started doing these show notes by the way is because we've heard not just guys but I have primarily heard from guys but um like there's guys who are starting to what they're do is now they're listening to the sermon and then they listen to this podcast the deeper dive uh podcast and then they're grabbing like coffee before work for an hour you know one day a week and there it's like little spontaneous life groups are popping up.

Yes. And so that's literally why we started doing the show notes is like, man, let's equip these guys to like you can walk in and go, okay, what did the Lord teach us? What's going on in your life? What's going on in your life? What's going on in your life?

Confession, vulnerability. Let's pray for each other. Now, let's go slay some dragons. So, you know, I will just say like, you know, that's we love that. That's great. Awesome. I want to say one more thing about regen because I've encountered this especially with young adults is it's about freedom.

It's about getting freedom. And so like some people think well I don't have like this big huge addiction so region's not for me. No no no no no it's about any kind of hurt you have habit you have anything that is causing you bondage in your life. Mark can you name some more because I want to make sure somebody says well I got this thing and they didn't talk about like just you know name some more things that people and Leslie can too but it's like anger like yeah I'm lashing out at times and I don't want to lash out. escapism.

Like, why am I watching Netflix for 3 hours a night? Like, why can't I not find the right show? Like, oh, I'm escaping something. Like, okay, not being with my kids. Like, what is it about that that that's going on here? So, it's not always like these big huge things that like are going to put you in jail. like there's these other things that are just failure um anxiety uh spending eating um you know various various uh sexual things we know why am I so driven to this there is we've talked about pornography it's in the broader category of just sexual dysfunctions or perversions and um there's something about you know our soul that's longing for something when we do those things whatever that outward word, you know, action is.

And that's really good. I want to encourage some people u and pastor them. I want to share some popular lies that people will believe or say or think when it comes to this conversation. Well, maybe, but you know, and they'll say things like, "Well, God only loves a cleaned up version of me."

Let's do like a quick response. Maybe what would you say? Quick thoughts. God only I don't think that's for me. God only loves a cleaned up religious version of me. Carlos, the when I hear that statement, um, when you know that somebody truly knows all of who you are, that's when you know true love.

God wants you to know that he truly loves you because you're the way you are. And it's only So, it's really a lie that we feel like we need to cover up or clean up before we can come to the Lord. He already knows that anyway. And and part of that whole uh freedom process is when other people begin to know some of those things about us and we are loved and accepted.

We really truly know love. So it's really knowing true love. There's not a single time ever in the Bible where Jesus where somebody cleans themselves up before they come to Jesus. There's literally not a time. In fact, um what what everybody likes to do is uh they kind of like to create the fake you and then like, you know, it's like I never share anything about my struggles and everything's great and my kids are always great and everything's great.

Impressive. I'm very impressive. It's like, hey man, you can either be impressive or you can be known. Your choice. You can't be both. There you go. And there's there's not a single time in the scriptures where somebody cleans himself up for coming to Jesus. So Jesus doesn't like he doesn't love the fake you.

That's what he does with this woman. She tries to give him a fake her. Oh, I don't have a husband. I'm doing great. And he literally draws out the real her to show him he loves the real her. So, like what I like to say is the real Jesus died on a real cross for the real you because he really loves you.

Amen. God wants to bless you. He will not bless who you are pretending to be. That's right. Uh man, somebody's saying, "Oh, but I think uh I feel God is disappointed in me. I I feel shame and I don't know that I have what it takes to to be known and, you know, join a group."

Mhm. You know, there's a term called toxic shame, which um is obviously an unhealthy uh understanding of wrong actions in your identity. So, toxic shame is a type of you begin to identify with the action as who you are. And that's again a lie. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

God's created you for a purpose. He has he has a an a sense of a blessing that he has in store for you. And there is a role of guilt. You know, he wants you to learn from inappropriate actions so that you may learn to change those actions, trust him and uh but not let that shame be your identity because that's not who you are.

And don't relate to God based on your performance. Relate to God based on his performance because he performed for you on the cross because he loved you that much. You can't disappoint God. You can't because he went to the cross for you. Philippians 1:6, who he who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

He won't stop. You don't have to. I always, Carlos, I always feel like you can tell if somebody understands the gospel by how they respond when they sin. If when you sin, you're like, "Oops, I messed up. Uh, dad's going to kill me." M you do not understand the gospel.

If you really understand the gospel, you go, "Oops, I messed up. I better call dad." There you go. When you That right there is how you know how deeply you believe and understand the gospel. There is therefore now no condemn. No. How much condemnation? None. No condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

There is more grace in Jesus than there is sin. Amen. Come on. Yeah. Uh, somebody might say, "Well, this is just who I am. This is this is the thing I do. It's who I am." You know, 1 Corinthians 6:1 says, "You were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God."

Yes, that's that's yeah, sin may be a part of your story, but it's not your identity. That is not who you are. And that's why like something like regen is so important because you you you can get freedom. You can get freedom from that thing that you have equated as you.

It is not who you are. What God has done for you, that's who you are. He bought you with a price. He redeemed you. He adopted you as his own. You're his. That's who you are. Right? And Paul says also in Corinthians that anyone in Christ is a new creation.

The old is gone. The new has come. You are not who you used to be. You're a new increase. This is a really important one though, Carlos, because um it like um people tend to think that what's that like Satan's primary thing is temptation. Oh, I'm going to try to get you to do bad things.

That's actually not Satan's primary thing. What the book of Revelation calls him is not the tempter. It calls him the accuser. That's right. So, the primary thing Satan does with your life is he tries to convince you that what you did is who you who you are. Now, some people actually end up wearing our culture does that.

They actually end up wearing it as a badge of honor. Oh, I should actually have pride. I'll just, you know, June or what I actually have pride in this thing that I do and they take an action and make it their identity. Uh whether whether whether pride leads you to make an action your identity or you're doing that in toxic shame.

Ah, this terrible thing I did, that's just who I am. I'm nothing but a dirty d. Either way, it comes from the devil because he's the accuser of the brethren. The book of Revelation says, "So Jesus is going, "Hey, man, what you did is not who you are."

And you you are not that's that's the thing you'll hear me riff sometimes. You are not your affair. You are not your abortion. You are not your divorce. And you say, "Hey man, but that's the biggest thing that ever happened to me." No, it's not. Jesus dying on the cross for you is the biggest thing that ever happens to you.

That is what defines you and nothing else. That's right. Last one. Somebody might say, "Man, I don't think I'll ever change." There are lots and lots and lots of life change and uh and when you see in regen or church through baptism weekend we we've seen life change it's people knowing that um Christ died for them their faith in him frees them and they have a new life in him and stories of life change that's one of the as uh people who talk about the resurrection and the disciples who were cowards beforehand and who were courageous just afterwards.

Yes, the life change proves that there is a power greater than themselves to accomplish what God has in store for them. Some people also say they'll never change, you know, and it's like, no, I mean, but God, like he can do it. And you know, I know it's hard to have hope, especially if it's a family member, like they're never going to change.

They're always going to be that way. It's hard to have hope, but God can do it. That's right. That's the hey greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. So I this I didn't get to talk about this earlier but if you go back to Exodus 3 all the way back to the I am statement.

Moses is going I can't do this because I stutter. And that's when God goes I I am what he and part of what God is doing is he's going whatever you don't think you're enough for. Whatever you think you're not I'm that. and I can fill in any gap in you.

So if you go throughout the Old Testament, it's like Jehovah Rafa and it's you know what that is? He's going Yahweh, I am your healer. Hey man, are you sick? You don't have the ability to heal yourself. I can fill that gap. Jehovah, it's called Jehovah Sidkanu, the Lord our righteousness.

Jehovah our He's going, "Hey man, are you a sinner? Are you really messed up? I'll be your righteousness for you." So if somebody's looking at themselves and they're going, "Ah, I can't change. I don't got what it takes. Honestly, part of me wants to go, you're right, man.

You're you're exactly right. But he does. That's right. But he does. And he breaks the power of cancel sin and sets the prisoner free. That's right. That's what I was going to say. If you if if a person says, "I'll never change." They won't, but he can. That's exactly right.

So, it's because it's not about you changing. It's about Christ changing through you and transforming you. It's not. So, it isn't about the person. And honestly, dude, I have like there's like a cuz people kind of do that with me in the lobby when we're praying with people.

I'll never There's like a righteous anger and I'm not angry at them because I know when they say that that's the devil's fork tongue tongue coming through their mouth. That's the lie he told them. And they're just repeating his thing. And I have an anger at him, not them.

And I'm like I I just literally want to be like, look around. Yeah. You're surrounded like thousands of people were enslaved to a million different things and and I know the stories and that guy got free and that girl got free and they were divorced and now they're remarried and they just I'll literally sometimes get emotional preaching because there's a there's there are couples who sit in that front bowl that got divorced after addictions and I remarried them in our dang baptismal room and they're up there holding hands, hands in the air and I'm like You're telling me you're never I'm staring at people.

Yes, you can because he can. That's right. Wow. That's right. The beauty of being a part of the church where we get to hear story after story after story of life change. Just look around. Yeah. Just look around. Absolutely, man. That's uh that's amazing. That's awesome. I'm just I'm still like processing and savoring everything that we're discussing right now.

And uh let's uh you guys ready to jump from that to an Instagram video that Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. Do you mind set this up? Yeah. All right. So, let me set this up real quick. I I asked Carlos to do this. I don't do this very often, but every now and then there's enough like um disagreement or misunderstanding that I'm like, "Okay, this is actually pastorally important and I want to I want to tell you why I did or I said this."

And this is one of them. I post this real um because Carlos makes me post reals. That's right. And uh it's all me. It's all Carlos. Carlos and Brooke. So, what you're getting ready to see was This is weird because we're reacting to me reacting to something. Let's go.

Inception. It's very meta. Is it the first time we do this? I think we need to react to more Josh. No, we're not going to I'm not reacting to me reacting to things. So, um I came across this video on TikTok and I was like, this is actually important for parents to understand.

So, I did this react video and it uh stirred up a little um disagreement and so I want to explain it. So, let's show it. Our little boy is starting reception in September. He has picked his own school bag. I told him not not to get the pink bag.

It's what he wants to have. I don't care what he wants to have. You should have thought the football bag like I told you. It's his first day of school. It's his choice of backpack. He's going to get bullied. He's not going to get bullied. He's 4 years old.

You know how mean four years old four year old people are these days, right? He's going to get bullied. And you you're going to have to deal with it. I told you not to get that back for you. He can have whatever he wants. We need to encourage him.

No, he can have the football back cuz that that's what I'm going to get. You need to take that back and we'll get the football back for him. And that's why kids need both a mom and a dad. In his wisdom, God designed it to take both a man and a woman to make a child because it takes both a mother and a father to raise a child.

Because news flash, men and women are different. Women are generally more natural nurturers who are good at empathizing with feelings. Men are generally more natural builders who know that sometimes feelings need to be ignored. such as when you need to tell your son, "No, son, you can't have the pink backpack."

Now, some women may hear that and call me mean. We call that being a dad. Okay, so let me explain this. So, first of all, there's a difference between something that is sinful and something that's unwise. So, let me just clarify this. We don't have Bible verses that say four-year-old boys should not wear uh pink backpacks with princesses on them.

We don't have a actually, we have stuff that's actually really close, and I'm going to get to that in a second. So, um, but let me talk about why, um, sometimes I'll be I'll take something down or I'll be like, "Ah, I wish I said that different." I'm not taking that down.

I stand by every word. And here here's why I say this. And I just lean in to parents who are like, "Ah, it's just a color." That was kind of the big reaction. It's just a color. Let me just say a few things. So, um, in the Bible, uh, what you have when you go back to Genesis is God creates in clear binary categories. very binary and clear.

So, night, day, earth, sky, sun, moon, humans, animals, male, female, good, evil, evil, good. They're clear and they're very, very binary. Now, um, let's deal with theology. Once you start reading your Bible, what you're going to notice is that whatever God creates, Satan counterfeits. And then whatever God clarifies, Satan works to confuse.

You see how all that pattern is everywhere. Okay? So when you read the scriptures, Satan is constantly trying to confuse these clear binary categories. Uh, you know, I don't know if there's like a really clear good and evil. I think it's more like there's always a little dark in the light and always a little light in the dark and nah.

Ah, I don't know if you know it's really binary. It's more like a rainbow. It's more like a spectrum. Okay. So whatever God creates, Satan counterfeits. Whatever clarif God clarifies, Satan worships confuse. So this is why, and this gets to the part that's a little more a little culturally sensitive.

Um throughout the scriptures, I just this is a good thing that we should celebrate and embrace. Um men dressing like women and women dressing like men is consistently forbidden throughout the scriptures like just with total clarity. Um because God is saying, "Hey, I created these clear binary categories for you because that's actually what's good for you.

It's good for families and it's good for society." So I'll get, if you're like, "Does the Bible actually say that?" I'll give you a couple examples here. This is Deuteronomy 22. A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.

If you go to 1 Corinthians 6, it uh talks about how, and I love it so much, it talks about how, man, it lists all the stuff that people in the church were, and it's like, man, adulterers and thieves and fornicators. Um, and then the English Bible says, "Men who practice homosexuality."

And then here's what I love. And he goes, "And such were some of you, but you were washed. You were justified. You were sanctified in the name of our Lord." I just love it. So, I just love the grace and mercy of Jesus. But it does say that where um your English Bible translates it men who practice homosexuality.

It's the Greek word malachoy that if you go check out a a Greek lexicon, what it literally means is uh um men who are intentionally affeminate. And it's saying we don't do that. Men who are intentionally affeminite. How would you describe that Josh? Like some men who are intentionally.

Let me get to that. I'll use the next verse I'm going to say to talk about that. So number one I would say um if men are like in is first of all there's cultural markers and they're different in every culture. So let me get to this in just a second.

For instance, that's why 1 Corinthians 11 says I'm going to quote it. Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair is it is a disgrace for him? What Paul's doing is he's pointing to the fact that in their culture long hair was something it's like dudes don't do that in their culture and short hair are like uh women don't do that in our so what Paul's pointing to is he's saying every culture has cultural markers by which they demarcate the clear binary categories that God has created.

Men do this and women do this. Now, you can take it overboard. And what we're not advocating for is like every man has to be some, you know, macho man that likes guzzling beer and watching wrestling and his favorite colors camo and, you know, he he he collects AR-15s.

That's not what we're saying. But it is, the Bible is there is a pattern just very clearly in the Bible that men should act like men. And it even takes it down to the attire that they wear and women should act like women. It is it's just clearly saying that.

So when you ask the question, okay, so like practically what does that mean? I think it's there's I think it's both art and science. I think what every Christian in every culture has to do is they got to go, man, what are appropriate cultural markers in our culture by which we demarcate uh men and women masculinity and femininity. and man, in in appropriate ways, I actually want to lean into those and embrace God's good design and his good distinctions.

So, that's what Paul Paul's doing here. Now, um, and I I want to point this out that that what data shows um I love when sociology confirms theology. What data shows is that when an individual embraces male female distinctions that it's actually very good for them. is good for them emotionally.

Considerably more suicide and depression around people who like try to erode those categories or you know ah maybe I was born in the wrong body you know that kind of thing. Considerably more uh problems there. Now here's the objection that people had to that real but man like dude a pink pink's just a color.

Mhm. It's just a So, here's what I would say and let me put on my my pastor hat and um I just want to remind, you know, I want to gently remind everybody my job is to pastor our church. It's like my job is to kind of go like, "Hey, let me try to take the text of God's word and apply it to the context of our world.

Here's the world you're living in. Let me try to help you." Um, so here's here's what I would say to what about the pink backpack? It's just pink. Pink's just color. What I would gently say, what I would put this in the uh I would strongly put it in the that's very unwise category.

It's very unwise to encourage a four-year-old boy um towards a pink backpack with princesses on it. Here's why I'd say that. um in a culture in which Satan has so successfully sowed gender confusion and there is an avalanche of data that is really bad for people when they embrace his confusion around gender categories.

Okay, Christian parents need to work really hard. This is this is really important. They need to work really hard to create category clarity for their kids because the culture is going to try to do category confusion to them. So man, my job is to combat that and let me for my kids establish very clearly gender norms.

Boys are different than girls and girls are different than boys. So, what you want to do, and I'll take, you know, every now and then I'll get a little heat for this, but I'll just I I unapologetically I really think this what I'm trying to do with my kids is raise them where those gender norms are so deeply ingrained in them that boys dressing or acting like girls or vice versa feels weird, gross, inappropriate, and wrong to them.

Because my job as a parent is to calibrate my child's conscience. That's my job to install the emotional calibrations into them that God has written into the world. So like unapologetically, yes, I want my kids to see a boy acting like a girl and feel like, "Dad, that's really gross and weird."

That's not them judging a person. That's them appropriately judging an action. And that's my job to teach them how to do that. Absolutely. So that's your job as a parent is to help create category clarity for the parent. So if I tie all that together and if you guys got any thoughts or disagreements, you're not hurt my feelings.

That's why I would I would gently suggest it's like very very unwise to encourage your four-year-old boy towards a pink backpack with uh princesses on it. um because you're accidentally eroding the cultural markers that we have to demarcate God's uh distinctions, thoughts, disagreements. I think that category clarity is helpful.

Um I get the amazing privilege of working with young adults. Yeah, that's right. And there's just a lot of category confusion there. And so when things come up like this, it might hit a little different because there may not be that clarity there. And uh another part of even like that video and the reaction which I think is really foundational is why would we let a four-year-old make all the decisions?

Yeah, good job. I mean it's like just because the four-year-old wants to doesn't mean that the four-year-old should. And that's where that category clarity really helps because you are forming a person in how to think and how to interact in this world. And something that I've always I mean I so appreciate about you, Pastor Josh, is the way that whenever you deal with an issue like this, there's also a grace there.

Yeah. There's an understanding that like, hey, if this is something you've struggled with before, and it's like you're starting to see, oh my gosh, maybe I have actually created confusion in the way that I've been, you know, bringing up or talking about things. It's like, okay, yeah, God can take care of that.

God can handle it. you can move from here. Yeah. And as I mentioned earlier, part of my own struggle that showed itself up uh as a pornography was in part because I didn't have clarity of what a man is, how a man should act, what's appropriate or not appropriate.

It's a case in point. We people we see people showing up sometimes in the area of pornography thinking, "Oh, I didn't know it was really that bad because they didn't have clarity." That's right. In that. That's right. What what is appropriate, what's not appropriate. Right. It seems like as a culture as well, we we've tried it.

We we've tried the whole um blending male, female, you know, boy, girl, what is it? What is it? Latin X. Like Latin X. Sure. I mean, we like culturally speaking, you know, the last 5 to 10 years, like our culture has actually tried that and it has not worked well at all.

A disaster. It's actually it's been a it's been very we've seen very poor results. I mean, you look at literally like statistics like mental health, um just confusion, identity. you've seen like celebrities quote unquote transition and then like dtransition because it's like yeah what this thing I thought it was going to be give me identity and hope and cure my anxiety or my depression it did not do that and so let me let me go back to you know and so you see this all the time and and again there's a there's blessing and obedience to the word of God literally the first book of the Bible addresses male and female this is an ancient book um and yet you know it's still timeless because it's like This is this there's blessing to the obedience of what God said in his word.

And living under God's system like this, it actually produces what every person wants that's going through this. They want freedom. That's right, Mark. They think freedom is in their choices and the ability to choose what I want. But that's not where freedom is. It's in living under that.

That's right. That covering. That's right, Mark. I uh so one, I just want to emphasize what Mark said. Hey man, if somebody's like whether they're a parent or they're a person that's like embrace some confusion in that area, welcome to team center. It's like welcome aboard. It's like that that's all of us.

Welcome. There's grace for that and we can kind of pick up pick pick it up and move on. And then I would just say just as as a I I put this forward as like a cultural encouragement for the culture of Lake Point Church. He's like, man, as we're raising sons and daughters, let's just let's raise them like there, let's raise them uh to uh to embrace uh some of those gender distinctions even as a kid.

Like for instance, like I want Lake Point to be a church where the young the boys and the young men of Lake Point, they like everybody knows we hold doors open for women. You know, there like you may go, "Ah, that's kind of 1950 whatever it No, no, actually that comes from a biblical category that uh you're teaching a a boy or a young man that hey, men value and treat women as valuable.

Absolutely. It actually comes from uh they use their strength to bless women. is a these tiny little things that you start instilling in your children and the next generation that are in a beautiful God-glorifying women and children protecting and elevating honoring way they uh they establish some of the wonderful things about those those category distinctions.

So let's be that church. Amen. That's great man. Love it. Mark, would you pray for us? Yeah, I would love to. Lord Jesus, we thank you for this chance just to come together and unpack what it means when uh people are just struggling with things, whether it be addiction or thoughts or patterns in their life, strongholds.

Lord, or even as we were just talking about just like things in this culture that confuse us, God, you are a God of order. You're not a God of confusion. And you have laid out a plan for us. You have given us a story and given us um mandates and ways that we can live and they bring life, God.

And I just I just pray for um anyone that was listening today that they've they've confessed to you before, God, and they know their sin has been forgiven, but they've never taken that step to confess to someone else so they can actually be healed. And I pray for healing over and over and over.

I pray that people would respond and they would go on Tuesday night to regen. They would get in that conversation and and go u beyond the hey, can you get me a glass of water, but they would go to that next layer deeper, God, and see that the sin that they have, the thing that they're struggling with, it's not uncommon.

Like we all have something in our lives and be able to just get free and open up and confess to one another so healing may happen. I pray that in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. Hey, thanks for joining us today. For more biblical teaching and worship, join us for our Lake Point Church online live weekend services on Saturdays and Sundays here on this YouTube channel.

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