Free Chapel Young Adults Podcast | EP. 4: Church Hurt

((music playing)) why ((music playing)) y'all what's up Free Chapel young adults welcome back to the podcast I'm one of your co-hosts here my name is Madison Harper and I'm the young adult coordinator at free chapel and I'm here with some of my friends hey guys I'm a Aon Aaron I'm the young adult pastor and director of Free Chapel College uh I'm Jordan I'm the young adult pastor at Free Chapel Midtown my name is Skyler and I'm on our young adult team and also PA you're gonna make people think your name is a a Ron they're going start coming up to you call you and pill ruined my life they did like every you know who gives me you know this doc I'm talking every other day he sends me that you in trouble a Aon I'm like oh gosh but you guys I'm excited about the topic today yes we have a really fun one today before we dive into it make sure wherever you're listening or watching that you like subscribe and follow us you can reach out to us on Instagram and follow us there at Free Chapel young adults and you can always reach out to me on my email at madison.

Harper freechapel.org Pastor Aaron what are we talking about today wait one more thing we keep laugh we keep laughing to SP no Skyler is hating cuz she's like why are we saying that cuz it's funny think about yo think about the podcast we all listen to they be like oh we want to shout out our sponsors we've been saying that in our podcast you guys we don't really have sponsors we not really spons but we giving honorable honor is due yes we want to thank you to our sponsors free chapel and Pastor Jensen we love you always thank you for letting us do what we do yeah you're the goat we couldn't do this without our church and without our pastor but right yo we're talking about church hurt today yes like and the thing about this it's like a a a churchy phrase so for all that are listening today bear with us we're going to kind of break this thing down but we know being a part of the church is something that people navigate um on one hand or another um so for those that may be watching today that aren't churchy or no church lingo like what is church HT like what is that how would you guys begin the discussion of defining it I'm going let you take that pastor Pastor Jordan all right yeah it's easy topic yet again two times in a row right um I would Define Church hurt as um like we believe that the church is the body of Christ so it's people that believe in Jesus the church is not a building even though we're in a church building right now it is not a building it is people and so I believe that it's one of those things where like maybe somebody does something to offend you maybe somebody steps over a line and sins against you um I would consider that to be uh to be Church HT um but sometimes it comes down to as well like you know people may be saying something that they might be ignorant about that you may not like might come from different cultures different backgrounds and so offenses will end up coming yeah I go I'm just going to say go ahead and kind of clarify we're calling it Church hurt CU that's what we call it but the really the definition is people hurt I mean HT every time people say they are Church hurt they've got this it's never the church itself it's the church as a whole it's not the church building it's the people and were hurt by people and some of those examples though of that to start digging into this thing it's so many different situations or perspectives like you mentioned the aspect of yeah we're the church we're the body and I think on one end people have to understand that the church is imperfect yeah that part of the makeup of the Church of God's bride is the people who are the Bridesmaids and we all know when it comes to bride's Maids no disrespect it can be messy cuz that's the thing deal with people we're dealing with things and we're not always going to get it right and you know but I think the other side of it is what are people's expectations coming into the church because I think sometimes and this isn't for everybody or everybody's situation people are setting themselves up to be offended they're setting themselves up to be hurt but let's start there like with those perspectives from a church perspective and a a a non-believer or anybody believer coming into a church Church yeah I think that church hurt I love M that you brought the clarity and the disclaimer but I feel like obviously Church hurt another way to think of it is someone who's had a personal bad experience with a church that is like someone would say I have been Church hurt by blank Church like people that's kind of a good like practical laying the foundation thing but I think a reason that church hurt is so prevalent is that we put unrealistic expectations on Church and we we put people on this pedestal and then when they fall short if they make a mistake even obviously there are certain cases I like what you said pa of like this isn't for everybody but there are certain cases of church hurt that is truly just being let down by your own expectations and that's not fair to deem a church as anything negative because your expectations weren't met you need to put your expectations a little lower and remember that the church is just people we are the bride of Christ and their imperfections and we need to just have a level of Grace for the church and I think we have to also be careful about how we talk about the church because we are the bride of Christ and we have to remember that our groom is the King of Kings and the Lord of lords yeah and I think when we start attacking his bride and we are his bride but we have to just be careful and mindful of having Grace and love and mercy for each other because Jesus died for us so we just have to have a level of relax let's not put everyone on this pedestal let's be real let's like a d Church like make it less churchy let's make it more practical yeah yeah and even Paul talks about like opening like leaving room for offenses yeah like you have to understand like my wife will offend me I will offend my wife my wife's Brazilian I'm American like there are things where I will say she's like I'm not GNA do accent right now trouble I love you baby but Ed that part of clear but like uh I'll say things that maybe like with from her language barrier or maybe the culture that she grew up in or something like that that might be offensive towards her you know so leave room for offenses and like leave room for conversations a lot of times like somebody will do something to us but we'll never actually tell the person that like hey you said this and like I don't know if I rock with that like what did you mean by that and try and gain understanding it's usually like we keep it personal we keep it left inside and usually if you leave anything on the inside at some point it's going to continue to build up and then you'll explode on somebody yeah and I think that's the one of the main sides you guys are talking about from the church's perspective and I love what you said Skyler I thought that was beautiful was that like man we got to be careful how we talk about God's bride because I think we got to know the distinction of it though God's idea in heart behind Church um and his bride it's pure it's white it's you know what I mean the white dress and all that but again we got to understand and have the maturity to know that like humans are trying to Steward the bride so as brides Maids sometimes we just going trip but that's why we got to hold ourselves accountable as stewards of the church to make sure we're creating um an environment and culture for people to feel safe feel loved feel heard you know I think that's the one side of it you know the churches side and how we Steward Church How We Do Church what are things that are Bible but what are things that are just kind of cultural things in terms of dressed and we don't do that we don't do that like that can get a little interesting too like and we can get into that every want to but I think the other side of it is we said this is expectations people need to set the right expectation yes if you are coming into the church what is your why yeah are you coming to gain a a more of a relationship with God through corporate worship and to be poured into from a pastor and leader and things of that nature to find Community you know understanding that in doing that you are going to navigate some things but I think it's really important for people to understand and have kind of in their mind and heart expectations yeah I mean I think it comes down I mean to people it's it's going to be the conversation the whole day I think we're all imperfect people um and there has to be grace for others um because we all get hurt we could all go down a line and tell a story of the church hurt that we've experienc ourselves um but giving Grace to people knowing that we could also be the one that causes Church hurt on someone um and being aware of hey I don't want this to happen to me but I also don't want this to come from me um just making sure that we are aware that we're all imperfect people and there has to be a Grace yeah yeah you go ahead you go ahead no CU I was going to say I think that's one of the things the enemy wants to do with this whole idea of people hurt or church hurt like you know we know the Bible says don't forsake the assembling that if we are assembling we are becoming the you know Voltron of the Kingdom like we are all playing our part but the enemy wants us to be divisive he doesn't want the arm being connected to the hand he doesn't want the knee being he wants us just limbless just walk like I can't even say walking around but rolling around trying to figure things out but when we assemble we're powerful so if we can if he can bring us to this place of offense and of division and of Discord but it takes a level of humility yes on both ends to and I I think of Jesus man just he was all about his father's business you know and if we are about our father's business we can humble ourselves to make sure like you said M we're not offending people but if we do are we willing to have that conversation to bring reconciliation and own it like you know what I said when I say that's on me that's my yeah I think something that we have to be careful of with in the church when it comes to church hurt is that church hurt is typically what I've seen the fruit of Pride right is the fruit of on both sides on both sides exactly yeah but I want to speak a little bit holding kind of us as the churchy people accountable I want to speak to that um people who are super involved with church who get Church hurt obviously it's Case by case we're not saying that everyone hasn't been exposed to painful things and been victimized in certain situations but I do think there is a as ECT of it that is you think you deserve something come on you think you deserve platform you think you deserve opportunity you think you deserve to be the pastor in some extreme cases and you think that oh if I was the pastor I'd be doing this and because they're not doing this because they're not addressing something a certain way then there becomes this bitterness built up towards the church and again pride comes before the fall yep A house divided against itself cannot stand as you're saying and then you have a just a breeding ground for the enemy to do whatever he wants and to tear churches apart which we've seen churches literally stop being a church because of Pride and offense and I love what you said about making room for offenses because it's almost we have to make up in our mind these people will fail me at some point it's like let's talk about the expectations my expectation is this is a beautiful church I understand that these are just people though they will fail me I will fail them but when the first sign of failure arises I'm not going to retreat I'm not going to disconnect and wash my hands of it granted again Case by case if there are things that are completely just out of order and out of decency that's a whole another thing but if it's people being people and if it's someone making a mistake along the way we need to then lay down our pride and operate in that humility you're talking about and not deem it as this church is terrible or I'm I have church hurt now because of this yeah and I think like that's sometimes the thing and I don't want to ever offend anybody say like we're is Case by case not everybody's situation is the same we're talking about pretty much particular thing but like a lot of times like we virt signal is like that's the thing now so as soon as somebody goes I was hurt by the church everybody's like let's get around them yes you know they could be lying right you know that can happen people can lie actually yeah too and like they can like there's there's many conversations like I remember like pastoral conversations there's like you talk with married people there's one side of the story there's their side of the story then there's the truth but that's Proverbs that's Proverbs you know it says something about like one person is always right until they come and cross-examine them when you have that third that truth coming I mean so yeah to your point yeah it's so good it's so good um but yeah like I think like that's one of the things like that like sometimes we get around people and we should get around them and yet again and it's gaining knowledge but every relationship you will ever have every single one that has like depth to it somebody in that will offend you I've been offended by my wife I've offended her but guess what we work through it and I think that's the thing that most people don't realize is like the goal is reconciliation the goal is that we would stay in relationship and not like pull away as soon as the relationship gets hard but go like hey you're my brother you're my sister like let's work through this together because like yet again you talked about it last night at our young adults um but it's like modeling for people so you actually need to also learn how to model problems not just like try and just always Reach people but like when there's an issue what does a Christian do you know which which is a whole another Topic in terms of dealing with conflict I think that's the biggest thing when it comes to this idea of church hurt have you grown and matur to come to a place of navigating conflict because I think there's this there's this weird thing that we do in Christianity sometimes in the context and with church is that we expect things to be perfect right we expect everybody to have it right there's no Grace like why you know but again we said it it's people being people but when we navigate people being people and there is conflict can we try our best to resolve it but I love what you said too Skyler I think a lot of times and I've learning this even in my older age is that when there is a fence or I feel something what I'm feeling isn't necessarily on the person it's on me it is it is highlighting something in me something maybe I haven't dealt with I mean we can go really deep is it a tri childhood trauma like or is it just something that I expected that I didn't get I think navigating you know hurt we before we look externally we have to look internally you know and figure out okay I'm feeling this why yeah I think if we can do that we can navigate this idea of church hurt a little better and a little more healthier yeah because it's I mean it's also on us how we respond and I've been um learning over the last few years being married to my amazing husband I love him so much but marriage is hard and one thing that we've both learned is how to respond instead of react really good um and so I think in situations like this and when you do get Church hurt it's you need the question we need to ask ourselves is what's my goal in this is my goal to just be Church hurt and just leave or go somewhere else or take time off or or is my goal to fix this situation and not even necessarily fix it but find some sort of resolve of like hey I want to be okay with this person or even if you're not if you want to be just okay with the situation or just on cordial terms like you don't have to be best friends again with the person that hurts you or you don't have to church thatt but are you still beinged into there like do you still have a meaning there because if so then leaving is not an option yeah cuz I mean I think that's another thing we can give different examples let me ask this have you guys ever dealt with church hert oh yeah if we're g to go based off of the definition of like I guess so being hurt by a person yes yeah yes a person in a church yes I'll give an example all right I never forget and this may be new knowledge but I remember when I was I first came to Free Chapel I honestly I was looking just for a church and Community I wasn't looking to get on staff that wasn't my thought like I'm like how why would I even be a thought I'm like new to this church this church is huge like how am I just going to roll up and I just got out of coaching so I'm coming here but it was a conversation um years after being here about me taking a certain position and then from that conversation like I'm talking almost a year months went by with no followup or anything and I got offended and I was like oh they don't respect me they don't love me like how could they not how and then they wind up hiring somebody that I was friends with and I was like oh that's cold like why would they do that to me and I remember cuz I was I got married at this time and I remember talking to my wife like oh we're leaving you know we can't be at a church and like I love my wife she said just go like she just like bro just go pray cuz I don't feel like we need to be leaving this church but but I love that she didn't let me sit in my like hurt yeah or my offense but as I prayed the Lord basically in context at some point you know spoke to me like man did you want the position or you want me and I think I think anytime with any kind of offense no matter what it is there's we talked about in one of our other podcasts about choosing yeah there's a choice of do we want our offense do we want what we want or do we want God yeah and if I'm at a church I'm here for God like cuz if I allow things with people to dictate my relationship with God I.E my church attendance and what I go to as showing a sign that my maybe my relationship ain't what it needs to be maybe it's not as strong as it needs to be yeah something that immediately sparked in me while you're saying that is sometimes we've deemed God's protection as church hert we deemed God not opening a door on our time schedule or the the door we want open as this church doesn't value me all this stuff when really it's God's perfect timing and his mercy and his protection but if we uproot too soon yes then we'll leave with all this bitterness and hurt one if we would have just stayed faithful and planted and waited to the next season then we would have seen what God really had in store yeah there's a it's interesting cuz like my dad sometimes wouldn't let me hang out with friends and I'd be like why can't I hang out with them and like but the thing is is my dad having had experience in maturity saw something ahead that like was like that's going to take him down the wrong path like you're not hanging with them and sometimes like like you said like it was a situation where like maybe somebody actually over promised something to you which is always like really wise just like be mindful of your tongue and like same thing like with me I've had issues where like you know like and this is just me being transparent honest for y'all at home uh or in a car wherever laundry room wherever you at right now um the gym um but one of the things for me was is like I had been around enough Ministries to get promised so many things and to be underd delivered I learned like from my pastor Pastor Robert where it's like don't over like uh extend and over say like you're going to do all this stuff and under deliver like just be like what do you want to do yeah oh I feel called to do this great I'm here to Fan the flame for you you're called to do it let's go really good instead of it being on you like where you promise all these great things for somebody all these amazing things like you let that person and let God work in them and then you be there to support them yes yes but it's the same thing for people that may not be looking to be in vocational Ministry like even down to you know people that just attend church like some people get offended at the worship people get offended at the messages people get offended at the decor like I think we just have to be realistic again going back to what I was saying earlier is to like our why like why are we coming to church like why are we here and if it's anything outside of cultivating and Fanning and growing our relationship with God we need to re-evaluate you know why we're at of church or while we're doing Church in the first place yeah yeah I have a oh you go ahead M you're good um I just think it's important to know um kind of where you're at and notice that if you Contin continually are getting hurt by church and you're saying I'm Church hurt and you know over and over and over again maybe take a look at like your surroundings you know who you're surround in yourself with what you're doing how involved you are um if you're not involved enough if you're involved too much um but also like it's just important to find yourself in a place where you're good you know you're good even if you have been Church hurt if it's continually happening like re-evaluating where you're at and just saying like hey what do I need to do because this is ultimately about your relationship with the Lord um and if something is continually hindering you to be with him like you just need to check where you're at that's really good I want to ask you guys a question for the person listening who has truly like been wounded by the church or by a church where it's like this is a valid thing like whether like we don't have to get into all the examples but you know if you know that you've been actually wounded by a church what would be some of y'all's wisdom to them of like moving forward like you're at this place where you've been wounded you remove yourself from the place you've been wounded at but now you're really in this place of you're carrying wounds but you're alone right now like no church like what would y'all speak to that I think two things obviously is like um one side of it is man giving that hurt to the Lord like cuz I think sometimes we can be in this overly spiritual place where we feel bad about being honest about our experience at a church cuz we think we're offending the church by saying but God's not sort like intimidated by yours so if a church hurt you it's okay to be like they hurt me they manipulated me they wounded me they beat me up they used me like cuz like you said it is valid some valid I think but finding a healthy space to do it whether it's therapy or really wise counsel that understand they're not going to keep you there but they're going to Aid in bringing you back to life but I think the other part of it too is like you know don't look at other churches based on like the church you came from right you gotta now every church is different every leader is different you know um and I think you have to have that understanding because I've seen people be Church hurt and then they'll bring those wounds and then they can't live to their full potential not just as a Believer but in their gifting because they're still carrying the wounds but just know that like it's Grace but like give that chance that church a chance to show who they really are before you you know put boundaries up guard your heart things of that nature but you can't like all of a sudden put every Church in this box of like the church is bad no that church and that leader or leaders were bad or not good not every church not every something you're saying like makes me think of my story of getting hurt and then I just when we're in Ministry we have to keep moving like there's no time to just sit and like you're running and you're bleeding and you're like well we got to keep running and so then then years will pass and I know for me years passed and God started like very gently tapping me on the shoulder like you didn't deal with this yeah and this hurt has been sitting here for years yeah and if left unattended it will continue to hinder you in ways you're not even realizing that it's hindering you in can I ask a question though Skyler just to maybe help somebody cuz maybe it wasn't nothing in particular but what hindered you from like like dealing with it and dealing with the hurt cuz it's different for different people but what was your experience I think for me it was easier to keep moving than deal with the problem it was easier to avoid the problem and put it in the back seat and just keep moving and then you realize I've been running for a minute but something's starting to hurt like there's something starting to like affect my like my view of ministry I'm starting not enjoy this as much I'm starting to just being so real just starting to struggle in this and then God's like this might be why this pain that you didn't give me three years ago is now starting to fester and I think that is just so tough but one other piece of practical advice I'd give you if this is you who has been genuinely wounded I'll tell you the thing not to do the worst thing you could do is get around other people who are wounded and then you guys just have a a a pity party and a hate party and uh this person is the worst let me say why and like oh actually this person's worse and let me like and or just this church or this situation like whatever just like sitting there being in the the pit together literally a pity party is just never going to heal anything let me ask you this did you ever post it on social media in the middle of no no no no no that's one of should you post it on social media I no I so I I think you can talk about your experience post but like to the public world what will happen like you were saying is like getting people what social media will do and I'm not against social media I use it like as a platform to reach people but like what will happen is like you said like you start getting people that like are Fanning that flame and then you realize like I get attention from this and so like when you're not seen and when you're not heard and when you're hurting you have buried it and no one saw you now you post about it tell the world about it and everybody's like yeah let's have their back let's go but I'm telling you right now they're not coming to your Aid they're going to let you stay where you are and I think like that's one of the things as well it's amazing like you get hurt in church but you also need to heal in church correct yeah and that's the conflict I think people find themselves in is like I need this but this also hurt me yeah yeah yeah and I think that's where the enemy can sort of get people because he I mean he's tried to get all of us at some level in some way but I think the thing you said scholar was was beautiful like you didn't deal with it but the thing I would ask is did you feel like the environment gave you permission to deal with it I wouldn't necessarily say that it was the environment I think it was me I didn't give myself like like cuz for me for a long time I was like emotions don't have value emotions don't change anything so that was my mentality for a long time and then I'm running and now obviously the Lord has renewed my mind where I don't think that way and so it's like now God's so good in my renewed mind State he's like hey you need to forgive you need to heal and I love that the Bible is just so big on forgiveness the Lord has forgiven us of so much and we need to continue forgive and it's like when we forgive others there's a healing and there's a release that comes from that which is so beautifully like the way God has made things but I just think that I needed to just deal with a lot that I just wasn't dealing with and the Lord really challenged me with forgiveness is the key to your healing and and addressing it is the key to your healing yeah and again it's bringing it from like a perspective of like it's on me yes responsibility the respon and and I and and I asked question not to take away our responsibility to deal with our own stuff it's so important but I've just have found even over the last few years and I would say months you know talking with people who have maybe navigated this space one of the things that I've heard consistently is like I just felt like I couldn't you know I felt like I couldn't open up to my pastor or my leader I felt like I couldn't express how I felt I felt like so I think you know it is our responsibility individually to keep ourselves healthy and deal with our you know be aware of where we are emotionally mentally and things of that nature but I don't want to relinquish accountability for the church and as Leaders to leave space for people to feel yeah and to navigate emotions and thoughts and to where now it it is a chance for us to disciple and help people yeah I just I I think to that point and to Skylar's point also about who you surround yourself with if you are that person who is saying I can't go to my leader about this or I feel like I can't go to this person find someone who you can like that's so important to I think the healing process is to just be able to let it out um whether it be to a mom a dad a friend a therapist a counselor anything like that like you have to be able to find someone that you can talk to um or you're never going to you know I feel like for me especially in my experience I've always been the one that's like oh you know I can I'll deal with it you know and then I hold it in for a little while and then when I do talk about it it ends up being explosive because I'm like I've been holding it in for so long that I'm like no well you're wrong you did this whereas if I would have sat down and I'm learning this and I am now but sit down and just be like hey here's what I'm feeling and not always having someone who's just like yeah that's terrible like that's so that's so awful that that happened to you and just having someone that'll be like you know I know that hurts I understand why you're feeling like this but what are we going to do about it kind of thing and to move forward and not just like sit like I've been so hurt um to just like get up and just do something about it and you know forgiveness I've heard it said forgiveness is not always for them it's a lot of times for you um and in my experience with some things that have just happened in my life and things that I've been hurt by I've had to forgive without telling the person I forgive W and that's been hard um to do because being like the people person and being in relationship um you know I had things happen in my family and people we were really close with that like we had everyday relationship with and you get to a point where you're like how are we not even speaking like I let me at least like say I forgive you and the Lord's like you don't have to talk to them face to if they're not speaking to you if you're not speaking to them for whatever reason you can forgive someone and be okay yeah without go always going now sometimes you do need to go face to face and a lot of times you know there needs to be a conversation had but if you're not there yet it's okay to still forgive and know that you've forgiven that person and actually are healing from it than to just sit there and be like I'll forgive him when I talk to him again or like I'll forgive him eventually like no forgive him now and then eventually maybe you can have that conversation but you can still forgive without having to say that to their face yeah and I no you go ahead you're the bishop go ahead no what I was going to say is like if you struggle to forgive the beautiful thing is like yet again look at Jesus like while he was dying on the cross he said father forgive them they don't know what they're doing and a lot of times we have to understand this that part of the prayer where he goes we they don't know what they're doing they don't know most of the time when people hurt you they don't know what they're doing like we would love to think they do and like Jesus getting stabbed beaten they sure look like they know what they're doing but on an eternal impact to like you and to me people a lot of times do not do know what they're doing so coming to an understanding to get to that place of forgiveness and you might have to do it every single day say their name and let God know like Lord I forgive them today like I know I don't like them like I know this is going on in My Heart Lord but I just forgive them I just pray God that you would release this person from my heart because I don't I don't want to carry this burden this is yours and I'll say this last thing before we pass it the bishop but you took the words right out of my mouth uh but like the beautiful thing is like not only like looking at Jesus but practice with Jesus so like having a conversation with him because he's a friend that sticks closer than a brother so if you don't have anybody and you're on your journey using wisdom trying to figure out who that person is but also confessing it to God first yes like let him start to work on your heart a little bit before you start talking to somebody cuz sometimes you can bleed on somebody else and they're like I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that or say or say to that so like practice on Jesus because he's a better friend than any one of us are ever going to be yeah and it's a safe space to where the Holy Spirit can come and now minister to you and I'm I think one of the themes I'm seeing and I'm hearing is that it it all boils down to the individual you know like how we Steward this thing and I love what you said that like you know that was Jesus Heart Like I said you took the words right out of my mouth he said forgive them for they do not know they didn't know they stepped on that land mine they didn't know they stepped on that childhood trauma they didn't know they you know stepped on that hurt from my previous you know church or whatever it may but the thing that you know I I think about in all this is that as we're navigating this space and I just feel led to say this like you know just because you do forgive or you have you know been at a place of now overcoming the hurt on some level doesn't mean you have to let people back into your heart so good right I think we have to just say that cuz I think the tension sometimes is okay if I forgive do I have to now have relationship and I think you were touching on that like you don't there's going to be times and it's several cases where there's been some bad abuses yeah like our God wouldn't put you in a com uncomfortable situation to have to look at your abuser to say I forgive you yeah and that doesn't mean now you have to let that abuser back into your space no that doesn't mean that you can forgive and you can settle it with God and in your heart but there can be boundaries and sometimes a lot of distance yeah yeah and that's okay to the point you know talking about the church you know it's okay that like you leave a church but leave a church well right you know and then step into that new ministry or that new church you know with a new REM you know A Renewed mind knowing that God wants to do something in this new place and the last thing I will say in terms of church because I don't know why humans do this you know we do this a lot that when we leave like a place or a thing or whatever and step in we feel like we got to talk bad about the old place or the old thing you don't got to do that why do we do that I because I've seen this like you know with my daughter she changed Schools she's like that old school was I'm like babe you don't have to now gu the old school to like so it's no different than the church you don't have to now talk bad this the it is what it is like you have left leave gracefully leave in Love no matter what the situation is and celebrate where you are and and and be thankful and just be expectant of what God can do in the new space without being negative and talking bad about the old place good and just as we close I want to speak to the person that's like hey that's me I'm in it right now um just know that it's going to be okay you know we've all been through it and are on the other side of certain things and it really will it you know whether it feels like that right now or not it's going to be okay um and you're not alone you know we've got resources reach out to us you know if you follow us on social media DM us you know email us my email is madison.

Harper atree chapel.org and I'm always available to answer any questions or to get you connected to someone who can help you um we love that M I'm sorry I don't mean that I just feel like can we pray yeah I just feel like we need to pray for the you know any of you watching that you're processing this I just want to allow prayer and the Holy Spirit to navigate whatever it is you may be going through so father God we thank you we thank you for this space that we can cultivate healthy conversation with the goal of putting our eyes and our hearts and our minds on you so Lord right now in this moment we pray that if there's anyone watching who has been hurt hurt by the church hurt by people uh hurt by loved ones we ask Lord God that you meet them right there where they are in that hurt that they feel Lord God that they can be safe with you that they can share those things with you and talk with you in prayer and Trust Lord God that they can give it to you and not only will you heal Lord God but you will restore restore what the enemy has tried to steal from them restore Lord God the passion and the Zeal for you restore even Lord God their Joy Lord God of coming to church and being a part of a Ministry whatever it it is Lord God we pray healing and restoration right now so father we thank you we honor you and we pray right now you will touch the minds and heart to Lord God go after you that man isn't the idol positions isn't the idol that the expectation is to grow in an intimate relationship with you so we thank you we honor you and we give you praise in Jesus name amen wait one more thing guys I know we're going a little off script but I feel the holy spirit this wants to leave us with this of just like it really is a call to forgiveness it's not an option because the Bible tells us that if we don't forg others God will not forgive us so again I know we're going to Off Script we're done but we are called to forgiveness because we need the Forgiveness of the Lord over our lives agree gra thank you so much for tuning in with us today we love hanging out with you guys even though we're not physically together we're there with you we're there with you right in your living room your car in your gym we thank you so much again for tuning in and we can't wait to see you next time bye fam see ((music playing)) y