Becoming The One for The One | Pastor Travis and Jackie Greene feat Dear Future Wifey Podcast

Hey family, what a day. What a day. Thank you so much for plugging in here at Forward City Church. Whether that is YouTube or Facebook or podcast, however you're watching or listening, first of all, we are so deeply honored. Today is a special day. It's really a special season.

Ever since our conference, Engaged Culture, which was deemed this year Holy Ghost, we've been in a Holy Ghost move of God. And uh we believe here at Forward City that relationships are very important. Not only does it matter what church you connect to, but it also matters who you decide to lay next to and walk with for the rest of your life.

And so your spouse, your future spouse matters. And so here we value that. We value marriage. We value singlehood as well. And today we wanted to bring in a specialist, a professional, and that is Latis Whitfield from the Dear Future Wifey podcast. Today we had a conversation with married couples with singles hosted by Lataris that helped us uh be informed but also move forward under the power of the Holy Ghost in order to have greater relationships.

So I want you to lean in, get your notebooks out. Um also like, share, subscribe, tell everybody what God is doing here at Forward City Church. I love you. I'll see you at the end. >> What's up Forest City Church? Make some noise all in this place. Listen, welcome to Dear Future Wifey podcast.

I'm your host, Latas R. Whitfield. Listen, are you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking up with us, can we get a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you turn on your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes. We are live in Columbia, South Carolina at Ford City Church.

Listen, we had a dynamic service, a dynamic episode in the first service and I expect nothing less. And you said I get do I get a little grace to go over the little 30 minute maybe like 35 40. He said take your time. Don't don't tell a preacher to take his time.

Y'all be in here by time y'all got to go to work tomorrow morning. So, listen. Uh, I love that you cultivated a ministry where y'all believe in transparency and authenticity, and I can see that. And I'll talk about some of the people that walked up to me in the lobby in the first service, and some of the dynamic testimonies I've heard.

But, well, first, I want y'all to I want to tell y'all about my book that I wrote called Student of Love. And, um, God has blessed me to write this book through the stories of the people that's been on my podcast and the things I've gone through life.

How many you know that love isn't about finding the right person. It's about becoming the right person. It's about becoming the right person. So, I want you to focus your eyes on the screen and watch the trailer. I was married, cheated, flunked out of marriage. These eyes have seen the pain of failure, but also the possibility of redemption.

These ears have heard the lies. You'll never change. But they've also caught the whisper of truth. But Terrace, you can learn love on a level you've never known. This finger once carried a vow I wasn't ready to honor. Today is empty, but it's unashamed. It's waiting on a covenant I'll protect with wisdom. >> Will you marry me? >> I'm no expert.

I'm just a fellow student. I've sat in love's classroom, even spent time in detention, but now I live with intention. That's why I wrote Student of Love. Because learning love never ends. Sit next to me and cheat off of my paper. Cheat. Tony, can I should I use a better word?

Let's just cut to the chase. Pre-order this book and start the journey on becoming a true student of love. Class is now in session. Yes. Yes. Listen, man. I'm so honored that God has entrusted me to write this book. Uh, as the Greens know, it's a great labor when you write a book.

Matter of fact, let's go and promote that book right here. Are you praying for the wrong thing? Amen. If y'all ain't got that book, make sure y'all get that. And this book right here, Remain in His Love, a 90-day, 90 devotions. Make sure y'all check that out by Dr.

Jackie Green. Amen. Amen. So, listen. Uh, I was blessed to have Dr. Gary Chapman write the forward to this book. How many of y'all have heard of the five love languages? And so, I prayed and I asked God, I said, "God, I really want this man to to bless this book.

He sold 20 million copies of that book. That book has been around for 30 years and it's become a part of culture." And I said, "God, if you are in this book, I want you to make it divinely orchestrated where he writes the forward." And God made that thing happen.

And so to God be the glory. That's what I'm saying. Stretch your faith out there. If what you're believing God for is only limited by your limitations, then it's not God. >> It's not God. Listen, I want to go around and ask everybody to introduce yourself about 10 15 seconds and give a brief intro. >> Good morning, church.

My name is Jamari Thomas. I'm a 22-year-old man of God and I'm a proud member of this amazing church called Forest City. ((music playing)) Good morning. My name is Ebony. I am from Columbia, South Carolina. I'm 29 years old. Um, I am a God-fearing woman. I am officially sold out to God and I serve here at O City on the Creative Team and this is my home. >> She says, "I'm officially sold out to God."

Officially. >> Hey guys. Hey guys. I'm Danny. I'm 39 years old. I'm here. I'm here uh at Forest City Church. is a place that saved my life and I'm so blessed to say that. Uh I serve here and um I just love you guys. >> Good, good, good. >> Hey guys, my name is JC and Oh, thank you.

Okay. Okay. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Um I am um a part of the staff here at Forzy Church. Yes, I work as um the production coordinator. Um I'm 27 years old and I'm actually I'm from Indiana, but I moved to Columbia, South Carolina. So, >> good.

Good. Welcome to the panel. What's up, Fort City? My name is Kendrick Clark. I'm 36 years old and um Fort City has been a big part of me and my wife's love story. >> Good. Good. >> Major part. >> Hi everyone. My name is Jisha Clark. I am a mother, Army veteran, and a newlywed to Kendrick Clark. >> There it is.

Said newly wed. Can't wait to talk. And these strangers right here, what are y'all names? Hey guys, I am Jackie and I have the beautiful privilege of co-pastoring this amazing local body of believers. Can we give it up for my forward citizens? I love y'all so much. >> It's such a privilege to serve y'all. >> Hey y'all.

I'm Shai. Uh >> my name is Travis. My grandma call me Crabless. Um >> Crabless. She ain't got no teeth. Um I am um She got she could put she put teeth in. >> Um >> get out. You get out. How about that? >> Okay. Um but she she's faithful to God and to Snuff.

And I've been married um to my wife now. >> How come get in here? She in Myrtle Beach. >> I'm sorry. 14 years uh this year. And um so so delighted to have my brother here, man. Letter. Y'all, we got a legend with us today. So, let me ask you, um, PT, I want to feel like I'm a part of the ministry.

So, PT, what made you feel like having this conversation with the Dear Future Wifey podcast is important to have at Forest City Church. >> You know, I get picked on a lot by people um, starting in college about green not just being my last name, but actually being a characteristic of mine.

They're like, "Man, you're so green." And what they be saying is that I just I live in Narnia. I live in Disney. Like for me, everybody's nice and everybody's they're like, "No, people don't like you." I'm like, "Everyone loves me. Look, I'm just It's like I don't know what a hater is.

Everyone loves me. Everyone's nice." And so I I brought the really that that optimism, but also um a level of I guess cluelessness into pastoring. And it wasn't until I was a pastor that I found out that not all marriages are like mine. >> Um God's been very faithful uh with my wife and I um because we're literally best friends and what you see is what you get.

We've never been tempted uh with cheating or anything like that. And we actually just really get along. Um our arguments are extremely rare. Um maybe like once a year, you know, we >> once a year. >> When we go, we go. We just don't y just y just hold it all.

Store it all up. That's it. It be one big one. One big one. Um but yeah, seriously, about once a year, that's the only time we really kind of get into it. Be like, I don't like you today. And then and then I'll be like, "I'm sorry." Um, it's the truth. >> But no, we really get along.

And it was uh uh not until we started pastoring. I was like, man, dang. Like people are struggling. Like marriages are struggling and um singles are struggling. And for us, we want this church to be holistic. And like I said earlier, not just for us to come and have a good time, but for us to have principles and tools to walk this thing out.

And so for me, it was important um to even diversify the the voices that they're able to hear. And man, you're just I mean, you're you're well known in culture uh really for your brilliance, but you're also um just your anointing to host these type of platforms and and to invite us into a new knowledge and a new perspective about relationships.

And so for me, it was a no-brainer, man. When we got together, we were hanging out in Atlanta and I was like, "Bro, you got to roll through." And you was like, "All right, let's make it happen." And you've been so gracious even with your calendar to come.

And so, man, we honor that and we're excited to have you. >> Fun. Y'all know, come on. He tripping. This is Travis Green. If he asks you to come mow his yard, I'm going to come mow the yard. So, I'm telling you, I I respect your ministry. I first of all, I respect your heart. >> Wow. >> You know, I met him in the in the Delta lounge and we act like we knew each other.

We like, "Hey, what's up, man?" I said, "Why am I acting like we know each other, like we've been friends for years, and it's so cool because these Kendrick spirits have, you know, felt like brothers." So, thank you for all that you've been doing for the body of Christ.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Jackie. >> Yes, sir. >> As you've been leading this tribe of women, you call them the citizens. >> And so these women, I know you've heard a lot of stories about those that are in the dating streets, those that are struggling in their marriage.

Uh what could you say to provide hope for them, >> both groups, singles and married? >> I think it's so important when you're thinking about anything at large to go back into go back to original intent. Yeah, >> it's so important to go back to the foundation of why marriage was constituted.

God says in Genesis that it was not good for man to be alone. So he brings about a suitable helper. I think when you recognize that in marriage, when you understand the significance of a woman to a man, but also a man to a woman, a man is a high priest of his home.

He's the head of his home. He is to lead his home. But the woman is a suitable helper. So she's not in marriage guessing if she's good for that man. and she's not being critiqued by that man because he celebrates her differences and the gifts that she brings that he would not have favor without her. >> When you understand the essence of what they bring in, I would call it symbiotic nature.

They both serve each other. They both come alongside each other um in servitude ultimately to bring glory to God, not just to be pleasurable to each other. Although that's a part of it, when you go back to original intent, I think you serve better. And so for me that's hope because there are marriages right now that are not living like that. >> Absolutely. >> It's not about how do I make myself second so that they can be they can feel first.

It's not about how I make sure that whether I'm eating or sleeping or breathing that I'm bringing glory to God's name even through my marriage because the marriage is not just for the two but it's for the two to the world. And so when you go back to what God said in the beginning and I believe that you get back to the true purpose for why you came together.

I think as it pertains to a single, you have to first understand that even before you come together with a man or a woman, you've been given dominion, authority, and the ability to reign. The God God said in the very beginning that we were supposed to be fruitful and to multiply and have dominion over all of the earth.

And so even in your singleness, you have responsibility. You have things to get done. There is uh things that have happened in your life, traumas, experiences that the Lord can work out as you take the time to understand that even in your singleness, you're valuable. And if you're called to singleness for a lifetime, that God is with you in that singleness.

And so in that place of purpose, you're able to live in fulfillment. >> Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. I would be remiss if I didn't share a guy. He walked up to me in the lobby today and he said, "My marriage is on the verge of divorce."

And he said, "Watching your podcast has helped me to stand up and be the man that God called me to be." He said, "But this Wednesday, me and my wife will be facing our last counseling session. And in that meeting, she's going to decide whether or not she wants to move on with the marriage." >> Wow. >> And I begin to pray with him in that lobby.

But I want the body of Christ to join with me in this prayer. This is called Forward City Church. And I want y'all to pray that the Lord pushes their marriage forward. I don't want people sitting in the body of believers alone suffering in silence. And y'all know it's a great deal for a man to come share that with another man.

And so when he walked and shared that with me, I said, "Man, this is powerful." I said, "Listen, I want you to DM me because I believe God is going to change your wife's heart." The Bible says that people get divorces due to hardened hearts. That's what happened.

It's a hardened heart where we don't allow God's love to permeate that space. And so what I want us to do real briefly and I want you to lead in this uh pastor is just pray for this couple that in the next three days God does a suddenly and turn that things around. >> Yes, Lord.

Yes, Lord. >> Hallelujah. >> Father, I thank you that marriage is not man's idea. It's not a good idea that a philosopher or a professor came up with. >> Marriage was created and instituted by you. >> It was you who looked at Adam and said, "It's not good for man to be alone." >> Yes, Lord. >> And Father, I do know that the enemy has been working overtime to bring division not just to this nation, but the way that he can make this the divided states of America is to make our homes divided. >> Yes, Lord. and to try to push husbands and fathers out of the homes >> due to disagreements and due to not being on the same page or >> whatever the issue is.

Father, I thank you that it's through your spirit that you bring unity. The Bible says in Psalms 133, how good and pleasant it is when we gather together in unity. It says, "For whether unity, you command the blessing." >> Yes, Lord. >> So, Father, I thank you for unity.

I thank you for this couple in Jesus' name that you will do a quick and a divine work. I come against every weapon that's been formed by the evil one. I come against every plot, every ploy, every plan that's been scheduled in hell. Father, and I thank you for victory. >> Yes, God. >> Over this couple and over every couple in Jesus name.

Come on, if you believe it, give them a praise right now. >> Amen. Amen. >> And I want you to clap like you're waiting on God to restore your marriage. I want you to give God some praise like your brother, your sister needs your breakthrough. Need you to stand in the gap for them.

I need you to I'm I'm trying not to get up out this seat. I need you to begin to pray and intercede on behalf of your brother and sister. I'm sick and tired of the enemy having divorced statistics in the body of Christ the same as people in the world.

We are a chosen people. We are a chosen priesthood. It's time for me to rise up and I got to sit down. I'm trying I'm trying to do this podcast episode, but I'm sick and tired of us allowing the devil to run rapid in our marriages, in our household.

Why am I sick and tired of it? The Bible says one can chase away a thousand, but two can set 10,000 demons to flight. That means that every married couple has the power to chase off 10,000 demons. Every the minute you say I do, you have now not entered just into covenant, but you entered into divine power.

You entered into divine authority. You've entered into something that should make the gates of hell fearful of you. Fearful of your marriage, fearful of your covenant. I'm sick and tired of it. And I want the kingdom of God to arise. I want the kingdom of God to arise in the name of Jesus.

And I want men to take their rightful positions. The rightful positions. I had to look up the etmology of the word husband. The word is called husbandi which is a Norse word which means keeper of the house. One who holds his house together. One who bands his house together. >> As a foundation as kings in our households.

It's time out for women to keep their houses together. >> It's time out for women to lead the charge to keep their households together. >> It's time out for that. It's time out for that. It's time for men to stand in their rightful positions. take dominion and authority against the enemy and declare that what God has joined together, let no man put us under in the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus, let me sit back down. Jesus, >> I'm supposed to be doing podcast. >> Hallelujah. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. >> Hallelujah. >> I'm sick of it. I love it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of social media. >> Yes, Lord. putting single men against single women, letting them think that we're better off separated. >> My God, >> making us believe the lies. I love what you said earlier, Jackie, in the first uh service where you said God has to begin to heal us over our preferences. >> We start believing that, you know, a man has to provide 100% and all that nonsense.

I had an episode with Jason Wilson that says, "Me and my wife got it together." Woo. >> So, I love that he he it was a place in his life where he could only tie $10. >> That's it. >> But that didn't deter you. >> Took me to dollar movies, but he was a man of integrity. >> A man of integrity. >> He could keep the vows for the ring that he gave.

I could have had carrots, but I had a man with character. >> That part. That part. >> So many women got big rings, but an empty marriage. So many women got big greens, but empty marriages. That man is a man of valor and you must honor the mighty man of valor that you've been blessed with.

And many of us are missing it with our preferences. God, let us bow our preferences to your will. Let us bow our preferences to your will >> in Jesus name. And I say it for men as well. We have to allow the Lord to align our lives with the will of the Lord that he might be glorified in Jesus name.

Anybody believing that we going to do it like he wanted? Amen. Amen. >> Hallelujah. Hallelujah. >> See, y'all see y'all started this. Y'all had the Holy Ghost running. That was y'all. Y'all before I got here, y'all had the Holy Ghost running around this church. >> I was so broke.

She didn't just get my last name green. The ring I bought her started turning her finger green. >> That's true, too. That's true. >> I just I just wanted to say that. And so, but we talked about this a little, Teres. So many people will count their husband or their wife out in seed form, not recognizing who they are to become. >> You got to have spiritual discernment to see beyond the green finger.

Cuz I can see the green man arising to be everything that God said. Where are your spiritual eyes of discernment to see, right? With two on the surface. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Ask God to give you eyes to see. But that comes from a a life of prayer.

Yeah, >> you got to look beyond the surface. You got to go deeper than what you can see with your eyes. We need to pray, God, open my eyes to see like you see. >> When I'm experiencing these men and women, open my eyes to see how you see in Jesus name. >> Amen.

I would be remiss if I didn't share the story. I interviewed Lisa and Tom Billu. Um, an amazing couple, but they shared the story about how they were dating. Beautiful white couple. they they were dating and she was attracted to the guys with the systems in the car, the guys that had the nice vehicles or whatever.

And um when she went out with him, he had this like he was driving his grandfather's car or something. It was raggly or whatever. She said, "But one thing that he did that no other guy did was he opened the door for her." And she said, "Hold on, I like this.

This is something I didn't even think I needed." She went to her father and said, "Uh, this guy's real intentional. I want to marry him." And she was like, "He's broke. He can't marry my daughter." That man is now a billionaire. He sold Quest Nutrition. She stood I'm trying to help you understand something.

You talk about his seed form. He is now a billionaire. And he credits his success not because of his brilliance, but because he joined hands with the right woman. Those energy bars Quest nutrition. That's Tom and Lisa Bill. You let me start off in the back and I want you introduce yourself.

You introduce yourself. This I done c got lost in the spirit. Where we at? Did we talk to you yet? Where do we stop? Where do we stop? I I asked everybody. See, I done talked to everybody. So, I'm gone. I'm so gone. All right. So, here we go.

So, we going to start right here. You You 22 years old. Do you desire marriage? >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> That's it. >> Of course. I think I'm sorry y'all. I'm ready to shout. Y'all just play this. I'm ready to run. >> Travis, I feel something in my left knee right now.

But cancer cussing. Absolutely. I desire marriage. Um the Lord put it on my heart. I want to say earlier this year that I'm called to marriage and just understanding the true desire of it. Understanding what it looks like for a husband to lead, understanding what a true wife submission looks like and understanding how to nurture that.

And I think it's something that we're genuinely called to, but we're called to for a reason. >> What would you say if someone says, "You're only 22 years old. You're too young to get married. You're too young to even be thinking about marriage." >> I said, "The devil is a lie." >> Like, what? >> I say there there's no age limit to your anointing and there's no age limit to your calling.

If he he tells you at 19 years old or 55 years old that you are called to marriage and called to this thing, it's up to you to be obedient to that calling. It >> isn't this crazy though? People will tell you you're too young to be married.

But what are some things that they told you real early in age about 12, 13 years old that was a lie when you measured up to the grace of God? >> They told me a lot. I I I'll say they all a lot of my traditional uncles um told me to just have multiple women.

You're not winning if you don't have a few in your circle. I think I told you earlier, they used to tell me why go to one fish when you can have a tank full, >> you know? And it's just those lies kind of deceived me in my earlier years cuz it's that was the lifestyle I was taught to live. >> How did you come against that? >> How did I come against that? >> Come against that thought. this unlearning because you were trained in this, you were taught by this, by people that you looked up to, people that you admired.

How did you unlearn that toxic masculinity? >> Wow. >> I'll first give a lot of praise to my pastors >> for not only leading Yeah. Yeah. For not only leading me, but leading the soon to be wife of mine into that position. >> Did you just shoot your shot? >> Where you at, queen?

Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. He said it with his chest. He said his soon to be wife. And um so yes, them leading me and also just getting in my own word. I'm I'm very strong. If there's no personal conviction, there's no relational and spiritual growth.

So, just learning those concepts, understanding that I have to deny myself so he can increase in my life, but ultimately in my marriage as well. >> That's what I'm talking about. ((music playing)) Let's go ahead and talk to y'all. Oh, Kendrick, >> y'all been married for how long? >> We've been married for five months.

Go October the 3rd will be five months. >> Five months. Five months. And this isn't y'all's first marriage, is it? >> It's not. >> What made you decide to do it again? >> Wow. >> Man, um, for me, uh, my parents have been married all my life, so they've been together as long as I've been alive and more.

So, I grew up in a modeled home, uh, demonstrating what a good, successful marriage looks like. Um, so when my last marriage failed, it wasn't marriage that I looked like. It was the situation that I saw that wasn't proper. It wasn't actual the model of marriage because marriage is good.

God created marriage. So marriage is good. So um so if we stay right there, that's the reason why I did it again. And when she came along, I just knew it was right for various reasons. A lot of reasons, >> you said something about you're doing you did it the right way and she did it the wrong way.

What What was he referring to? Jesian, >> he was referring to our upbringing. So, like Kendra said, he grew up marriage was around him. I grew up in a culture where I didn't see marriage at all. So, I grew up searching for love, but I just knew that I had to I couldn't find it nowhere.

So, when I joined the military, the military has a culture of you get married for money. >> Heard that before. >> Talk about it. Go ahead. So yeah, in the military the culture is, and I know it's not for everybody, but the culture is when you're a junior soldier, because I was in the army, if you want to move out the barracks or if you want to get a little bit more money in your pocket, go ahead and get married. >> Wow. >> So that's what I did.

So coming from a very small town in Georgia to the military culture, marriage was never on my radar. >> And so um you got married at what age? So I originally got married at 23 years old to a friend of mine who was who I just knew because I did unfortunately have a child while I was in the military.

So I was just so heartbroken and I just ran into the hands of somebody familiar. I didn't go to God at all to say, "Hey, should I be marrying this person?" And honestly, I wanted to help him out as well. >> How did you want to help him out? >> Um not to put too much of his business out there. >> Oh, just your business. your side of the business.

I just want your side of the business to put out there. That's what I want. Don't put his business. Just put your side of it. The part that's a part of your testimony, not his testimony. >> He was he stepped up and helped me with my daughter when she was very young.

So, he was having a hard time finding work. And again, if you're in the military, if you're if you're married to somebody, they're pretty much guaranteed a job as well. So I said, "Well, let's get married so you can find a job." >> That's interesting. So, have you always been very sacrificial like that? >> Absolutely.

Still to this day to >> this very day. And so, what made you after you got a divorce? What made you decide to let's try this again? >> I think I was always called to marriage because it just has been a struggle for my entire life. I grew up searching trying to search for love but I didn't know that I could find it in God.

So when I saw for a city online and I immediately started crying and it was funny because it was one of the single nights when I first saw it online. >> I started crying. I was in my apartment started busting out crying and I decided to walk into you know the sanctuary and at this time >> at this time Pastor Travis was always talking about single moms like all the time.

So, I just came and I laid on the altar and I was like, "God, I want help, but I want the person that you have for me." >> Let me tell you something, Jarnishian. >> You said you struggled with being pretty much seen throughout your whole life, and God showed up online and you saw yourself.

You you felt seen for the first time as a single mom. That is so powerful. That's how intentional God is at pursuing us. At pursuing us. And even right before we came on, you said, "Yeah, I've just I'm a little nervous because, you know, I'm a single mom or whatnot."

And Kendrick, what did you say to her? >> Um, I I told her that there's other people out here who can relate to her story. And she has a testimony that so many ladies need to need to hear and need to learn and grow through because you're not in it alone.

Pastor Travis has shown us that many times over and over again. And I speak to the moment when he stood right here and he started giving out money to single moms. You have you have a family here and you have a support system here. So that's what I have to say to you. >> Amen.

I'm a single daddy. You want to do that again? I'm a single. There's a Lord leading on you. I'm a single daddy. I'll stand right there and let you bless her. >> I just want to share this real quick too, Latas. Um not only is she a single mom and not only are they newly wed, but she's also extremely prophetic.

Now, I found out um I think it was like last week we were in a a production meeting and I threw their names out and I said, "Yo, they're they're a newlywed couple and we have a lot of young people in the church and I think just their story can be very helpful."

And then I think our production director reached out to him and then a few hours later, um Kendrick hit me up and like, "Yo, something crazy that happened. I got to I got to tell you about it." And I I think I was super busy at the moment.

I was like, "Yo, what happened?" And u just tell tell them a little bit of what happened. >> What happened? So, so I called him and I um and I told him I said, "I got to tell you this um in uh over the phone because my wife just had a dream.

She woke up and she uh and she said, "Look, like we were standing outside. It was a long line outside of Forest City and we was trying to get in. He she said, "Pastor Jackie um Pastor Jackie and Pastor Travis was blowing up our phone like calling us like we was needed like we was needed.

We were supposed to be a be in a place doing a thing and and uh when she told me that like you know we we tried to figure it out. we didn't know and everything and that's when JC called us and said, "Hey, y'all are asked to be on Dear Future Wifey podcast."

So, we knew we was going to be on a platform, be on the stage doing something. We just didn't know what it was. So, >> and I just want to add a little bit. What he left out was when pastors were calling us, they said I said, "Well, we're in the back of the line."

They said, "No, anytime you go somewhere, go VIP." >> And I said, "Okay." So, they were just like, "Where you at? Where you at?" anytime you go to another conference or anywhere else, go VIP. >> God is amazing. That's a word. That's a word. That is a word.

Let me go and ask you, uh, JC. Um, yeah, we're going to jump right on over there since they already mentioned your name. >> That's fine. >> Um, how has these dating streets been treating you? I'm Hey, I'm laughing cuz I am Hey, I just need to see.

Is there any bold women of God? I mean, men of God out there. Can I just Can you stand up for me? Okay. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's what it looks like. There's no one standing up. Yeah, that's what I thought. >> I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And he white. >> There's one. Okay. >> And he white. JC. >> Okay. Okay. Woo. All right. I had to do it right. >> JC, >> I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. >> Come on up here and get your wife, man.

If that's >> I'm sorry. Okay, but for real. Um, no, that is real. Actually, that's real. Um, >> that's it. Um, no, no, no. I think ((applause)) So >> So let me tell you this. Are you Are you still hopeful for marriage? >> Absolutely. Absolutely. I do believe there are men of God out there that are doing it the right way, doing it the holy way and and pursuing that.

Um and I think it's just all about timing. For me personally, I I'm I actually am actively praying for my future husband. Um, I don't know where he is, what he's doing, whatever. But God has really called me to intercede on his behalf where wherever he's at and praying for alignment and whatever that looks like.

So, I know there is a man of God out there for me. God is keeping him for me. God has, you know, assigned him for me and I'm just waiting on the right time. >> When's the last time you've been on a date? >> Wow. Um, >> she like a little You got to look single.

Look out for my girl. >> That's all I got. a real date probably like three years ago. It was like a guy like actually tried to pursue me. >> So, it's been a while. >> And um you said that you used to have an insecurity over your purity.

Uh can you speak on that with a lot of women and um that may be holding that sacred and feel like that may be disqualifying them from meeting their purpose partner. Can you speak and give hope to that? Yeah, I think if um you grew up in a culture like a purity culture that um you know just told you that things like certain things were bad or you shouldn't you should do it this way, you should do it this way, you should do it this way.

Um and you've actually been keeping yourself. I always want to say first that God honors that about you and you should never look at it as a as a negative thing ever. God honors that and God honors you for that. Um but I believe society and culture paints a different story.

It's telling you you should be dibbling and dabbling. You should be trying all the things. You should be testing it out and seeing what you like and what you don't like. You You don't have to do that. That's a lie. You don't have to do that cuz you're actually wasting your time when you do that.

And you should just be saving yourself for the right thing at the right time. And so I just want to speak into that. For me, yes, like my purity became an insecurity in like high school and college because that was the demand was like, "Well, this is the cool thing.

You should try it out. You should just see blah blah And I was like, "Okay, well then something's wrong about me. Maybe there's something wrong. I don't I don't know." So, I just want to say that it is a a God-honoring thing to keep yourself um in alignment with with God's way of seeing purity and all those things.

Yeah. >> Amen. Amen. Amen. Abby, let's talk about your dating journey. Do you desire marriage? And the reason why I asked women that is that at first I used to always assume that every woman wanted to get married. And I found out the women like I don't want to be married.

And I recognized that some men were trying to coersse and encourage or persuade their women to get married and their women did not want to get married. And so I always ask that question. Do you desire marriage? >> Um absolutely. Um I do desire to be married. Um more than that I desire the work of marriage and the woman that I will become through the marriage.

So I do desire to be a wife and whatever comes with it. >> Hold on now Evan. You said the woman you will become in the marriage. Now that comes against this ideology that a woman is already together. She got her stuff together. She don't need no man.

She got her degrees. She got her own bank account. Miss I N D E P. all that stuff trying to be a keel in the bee. So, so they know how to spell independent. And you saying that you believe that marriage is going to help you become a different level of a woman? >> Absolutely. >> Why is that? >> I believe that your husband and your wife hold keys for you.

((applause)) >> Okay. >> Yeah. I believe I believe they hold keys for you. I believe that God has put certain assignments in their life, certain assignments in your life that you can bring forth, that they can bring forth in you. And I feel like that only that person in marriage has the voice or the way of saying it that can bring it out of you.

It's a partnership. You guys are doing this for the kingdom. You know what I mean? So, it's a kingdom assignment and you're continuously growing in the hands of God, in the presence of God. And if your marriage is in God, you're going to continue to grow. >> That is beautiful.

Beautiful. And let me tell you, this is a large growth for you because you've been a serial relationship person, right? You've been in relationship as far as you can remember, and God called you to a relationship fast uh in February. How did you respond to God when he told you, "Hey, Ebony, get somewhere and sat down.

Come out these streets, sit right here in this house, and I need to have a relationship with just me and you." >> I act like I didn't hear him. >> I said, "I didn't hear that. That he doesn't want that for me." Um, and I continued to have those situationships.

I decided to go my own way and God allowed me gracefully. Um, and he said, "Okay, I'll let you continue to break your own heart. I'll let you continue to >> Hold on." Did you say break your own heart? >> Did you say God said, "I'mma allow you to break your own heart." >> That's great. >> That's a word. >> That is a word, ain't it? >> How did you break your own heart? >> By continuing to choose the things that hurt me.

When I say that's what accountability looks like, sounds like, smells like, >> go ahead. >> Um, I chose to love the things that didn't love me. >> Um, I was very desperate for it to love me and to choose me, and it didn't. It constantly spat in my face.

It constantly broke me. It constantly tore me apart. And there's this verse that I want to um share that kind of explains it a little bit better. >> Yeah. Go ahead. Go to the word. >> Um it's Isaiah 5-6. Why do you continue to invite punishment? Must you rebel forever?

Your head is injured and your heart is sick. You are battered from head to foot, covered with bruises, welts, and infected wounds without any soothing ointments or bandages. >> So that explains how I continue to break my own heart. ((applause)) >> Wow. >> She going to make somebody a good wife. >> I'm letting y'all understand that, fellas.

I'm letting y'all know when you hear this is what I call the sound of a wife. When you start hearing that, when you hear that level of accountability, when you hear that word in them, when they can go to a scripture that let you know that this is what she went through in order for her to be found by you.

But she can't just go with anybody. She got to go with somebody that has the right prescription to be able to see who she is and not lead her through a path of destruction, but somebody that knows how to cultivate her into becoming the woman that she sees that is necessary to honor God.

Look, y'all. >> Woo. That's what I'm talking about. Lord, my God today, Danny. >> Wow. >> You think you fine, don't you, Danny? You think you all cute and attractive? I know you do. I know you heard it all your life. You You heard you had good hair and all that good stuff.

You heard it. You've heard it, Danny. >> You believed it, too, when they told you. >> It's a lot of hair dye. It's a lot of hair dye. >> So, let me ask you this. Do you desire Do you desire marriage? >> Absolutely. >> Why do you desire marriage? >> It's it's the last thing that he has for me. >> Wow. >> It's the ultimate goal.

You know, everything that's gone on gone through my life is preparing me for that. I'm just ready to share it. >> Wow. >> You ready to share it? >> I am. >> What do you believe you have to offer your future wifey? >> Uh there's a lot. I don't want to sit here and uh put myself out there. >> No, I want you to cover yourself, but I want to I want people to know the growth that you've gone through.

But yeah, so so to be honest with you, I I was, you know, I was a product of my environment of a single household and um a lot of abusiveness and um that's just what stuck with me. And um >> it was tough. I I hurt a lot of women. >> Oh, sorry about that.

I hurt a lot of women, but then I realized I was hurting God's kids. >> Wow. >> His daughters. And it was tough, man. You know, I would lie about so much to a point where I even I was telling women whatever they wanted to hear to get whatever I want. >> Wow. >> Including that I was a man of God and I went to church. >> Do you hear what he just said to y'all?

He said I would even lie to them to let them know that he was a man of Listen, >> but that's that's where he caught me. I walked in here and then I walked out a different person. >> I I am not perfect, but I'm I'm getting there. >> And I I just can't wait.

When that time comes, I'm going be posting everywhere. Am I I'm 39 years old. So the you know the you you have these thoughts of am I too old? And and I don't have any kids. I've never been married or anything like that. And that's what's all around me. >> It's tough to It's tough to look at. >> Wow. >> So, so I want you to share that.

Yeah. Talk about that. I'm glad you said that because a lot of times people think that as a single man, I remember people accuse me of having this platform and not wanting marriage. I said, "Y'all don't understand me not getting married is failure to me because I have this platform." >> And so, people can be so like bent with their own trauma and decisions and not realizing I stay.

And that's why Dr. Jackie don't understand what she said. Well, she understands cuz she's prophetic. But when you begin to pray and you start talking in the in the uh first service and prayed about the inner healing that I've done and the inner work, she would have no idea about how much I stayed on my face before God and said, "God, they making reals about me.

They making memes about me." They saying, "I don't want to get married." And you, God, you know, I just can't get married to the wrong person. See, see the right person takes a little bit more time because while I'm waiting on God to bring the right person that God is still cultivating, changing, healing some stuff in me so I don't damage his daughter.

So when God blesses me with his daughter that I don't mismanage her because I mismanage the heart of a woman before. So he said, "Let's take your time, get healed from some things. You got to overcome some past trauma and then when I present her to you that you will know is sent by me.

And I'm I'm I'm glad to announce that God has blessed with my purpose partner. She's absolutely amazing. She carries a heart of God. She carries the anointing of God. She carries the covering of God. And so I want you to speak real briefly about how people assume that you just don't want to be married, but you really desire it.

You know, I it it's gotten to a point where I'm getting tired of being the elephant in the room. >> Okay. 39, no kids, never been married. Got >> What's wrong with you? >> What is wrong with Danny V? >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> And And what's wrong is I I I haven't gotten over what I've been dealing with. >> So, I got I have to take time for myself.

But it it took till I was 36 years old when when when God smacked me and said, "It's time." >> And it started surrounding me with some great people and and it's been up since. >> It's been up. >> I mean, I mean, to be honest, it's not an issue with me finding someone to date.

The problem is understanding what's for me. >> You got the flesh and you have faith. >> Yeah. >> And and I'm working on that. I mean, to put myself out there, a couple weeks ago, I went on a date and I was like, am I really about to tell this girl this ain't going to work out? >> I mean, beautiful. >> So, how did you know it wasn't going to work out? >> We talk about being equally yolked at the same time, but I like to give people grace because sometimes I'm not sure if I'm my purpose is to help these people out, but then I got to find that little gray area because I don't want to then >> get on the other side.

So, um, it was it was just a lot of praying. >> When I meet people, I I pray before and after. >> Wow. >> And I've noticed the more I do that and the more I write, >> it just happens. >> The answers just come. >> They do. >> They just come.

So, um, so yeah, I mean, it's it's been great. I'm happy. I feel great. I feel good. I don't feel like I'm 39. I feel like I'm reborn. I'm I'm 25 fine. And uh and uh yeah, it's up. >> And so you said your flesh wanted to say yeah, but your spirit and what God said is no. >> Yeah.

You got to understand I I I'm I really feel that some of our issues is there's what we want and what we need. >> The flesh and what God sent. >> Yes. >> And and we just got to deal with that. >> How many of y'all can identify that?

That's the tension between what you want. You say, "I want a man that's six foot five." you only 411. You're like, I don't know where y'all get this stuff from. I want a man that's 6 foot uh 6'12, which is 7 ft. And you say, but like where do you get that from?

You meet a guy. And that's why I love what she said. It's not about the carrot. It's about the character. When you start praying and really understand what 1 Corinthians 13 says, which is a little plug for this this song that uh Travis Green and and Jonathan Mc Reynolds have because in the bridge of that I was listening that this morning.

And I was like, "Yeah, they sitting up here singing 1 Corinthians 13." I was vibing to it. I like it. And so the reality is I want y'all to have the heart posture where your decisions are aligned with God's decisions. And that's where the tension lies. The quicker you can get to take on the mind of Christ, that's why God says, "Renew your mind."

That's where you're going to find your purpose. Partner, as you've been hearing this conversation, the Greens, what are some things you would like to speak into this conversation? I I think it's just so necessary that we remember um that marriage is God's idea. Um and you know, the Bible also talks about um Paul was a big big advocate for singlehood.

Like he was like, "Man, I I ain't married and I wish that nobody would get married because I feel like you could be more focused on Jesus." >> I'm like, "Man, good for you, Paul." >> How many of y'all got a Paul anointing? Raise your hand. Nobody. Oh well, that spirit is left in another dispensation. >> But but Paul also had enough wisdom and he said he says this line is buried better to marry than to burn. >> And he said man if you are um if you know what you need and it's going to cause you to sin being outside of marriage then it's better to get married to someone so that you can be covered.

Um so that's one thing that's really important to me and this church. Um, we we my wife and I are just big we're big on marriage. I I believe that relationships can either take you up or take you down. Um, but I also my wife mentioned something earlier that I think is so important that people understand that in the sanctity of marriage.

We're really called to cover each other. And I think there's been so many divorces that aren't even based off of someone cheating or this and that. I think they've been based off of someone forgot that it was my responsibility >> to cover you. >> Love covers a multitude of sins. >> Love covers a multitude of sins.

I was having a conversation with one of my spiritual sons. I was just talking to him and I was like, "Hey man, you know, the sex thing, you know, this ain't Netflix. This ain't like Lifetime, you know, this ain't, you know, a Hallmark movie. Like you don't just get down cuz there's there's red roses and it's sparkling and it's like, oh man, there's a spark in my eye.

I had somebody in the church one time, "We lost our spark. I don't You have a spark for your wife. I don't feel like I have a spark." And I was like, "What?" I said, "Man, spark, bro. This ain't the movie. Like, you fan the flame. That's how you keep the spark alive.

You make the spark and then you keep it hot. It ain't this ain't, you know what I mean? Like so so even this idea about sex right that has been so uh promoted that it is also thwarted and messed up our minds in the church where we think that in marriages is like oh like we get down cuz we feel like it. >> No we get down cuz it's our responsibility to cover each other. >> Yeah.

You don't know how many times I haven't felt like it but I knew my wife needed >> to be covered. She needed covering >> Travis. You need a covering. You need a covering. >> There's so many times >> that I do it out of obligation. >> Out of obligation, >> boy.

The devil is a liar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's obligation and duty. And so just even that understanding that man, I am called to cover, right? So whatever is necessary in that covering whether it is uh sexual or sometimes it's just emotional >> that I need to be there and show up and cover so that you have a shoulder to cry on spiritual I'm there to cover.

Now I think when people start remembering that that it is a partnership and it requires teamwork and every for everybody it it requires work. You know what I mean? I think it was EB that said, man, like I'm excited about the work of marriage that even though my wife and I don't argue a lot, it still is intentional decisions and work every day, man.

How can I show her that that she's worthy of love and worthy of respect and worthy of honor and how can I demonstrate that um and allow God to do that through me? >> Love it. Love it. >> Wow. >> Dr. Jackie, >> two things came to mind um and it was kind of brought up in the conversation.

Often times people are getting married for the benefits like and I'll be honest and this is a new thing that I just kind of came to realize some women want to be mothers so bad that they want to be a mother more than they want to be a wife. >> Whoa. >> That was surprising to me because the truth is it's a call to your husband first and then to your children.

And that is not taught enough. I'm telling you and I know I'm just going to speak for black culture because I'm a part of black culture. Mamas, you be losing your marriage because you married to your kids. >> Can I speak from a mother that is a devoted mom, but they will not get more attention, more devotion, more prayer, more sacrifice >> that I will give to this man.

He's the high priest of my home and I would not have them without him. Yes. >> And so I'm just going to say, do not allow your marriage to die on the altar because you are so so stuck on making sure your kids get every part of you cuz they going to get married and leave you. >> Absolutely. >> Wow. >> They going to have their own families and then you going to be home sad because you done poured your whole life out into them.

And I don't know why God had that be the thing that came to my mind. But I am saying don't forget the covenant that you made to your spouse first. Don't want to be a mama so bad that you don't want to be a good wife. >> That was just one thing.

The other thing that I want to also talk about it's this idea and Latarius and Pastor Travis both brought this up in marriage and you might be getting through relationship through situationship through you know the things we do before we get married that we shouldn't do desires fulfilled but there is a covering that is necessary that is a power that comes only through covenant and you could be denying the benefits of all that God wants to bring through you bring to you because you will not actually make the commitment that God has called you to.

I'm saying this, there's a little boy in you. There's a little girl in you that even in marriage will not be unlocked and healed without you actually making the vow. >> And so many people that are in this room, you might be getting your need satisfied, but the actual greater need that needs to be healed is laying on the um on the track way of you making a decision to honor God in your commitment.

And so I really do feel like God is calling some men and women forward into covenant that will bring about everything that you need that you've been waiting on. >> Absolutely powerful. Can y'all give it up for this dynamic panel y'all? Thank you so much Forest City Church for hosting the Dear Future Wifey podcast here.

Thank you so much. Any closing remarks you want to before I wrap it up? >> No, we're we're grateful for you, man. Was this not amazing, y'all? Come on. Was this not amazing? >> Wow. Wow. Wow. What an incredible conversation. Hopefully, you were blessed by it. And hopefully God moved your heart back to a place of uh purity, back to a place of unification even in your spouse.

And we're praying for that for you. Um if you're single, remember that your purity matters. Um if you're married, remember that unity and harmony matters. And what God brings together, let no man separate. Listen, if you're here, you're watching, you're listening, and you're far from him, I'd love to encourage you to pray this prayer with me in order so you can receive the Lord as your personal savior.

You ready? Let's do it. Lord Jesus, I believe you died on the cross for my sins. And I believe that you rose so I don't have to stay down. Today, I receive you as my Lord and my Savior. And because of that, I'm saved. I'm changed. I'm different now in Jesus name.

Amen. If you prayed that prayer, there's a link below. If you're watching or if you're listening, please email us today uh connect@forward city church. Uh and we would love to just connect with you to know your story, to know what God is doing in your life. Um and just thank you.

Thank you uh for joining us today. We are so deeply moved and honored. I love you. I'll see you soon. God bless.