Doing Relationships the Kingdom way | Pastor Travis and Jackie Green feat Dear Future Wifey Podcast

Hey family, what a day. What a day. Thank you so much for plugging in here at Forward City Church. Whether that is YouTube or Facebook or podcast, however you're watching or listening, first of all, we are so deeply honored. Today is a special day. It's really a special season.

Ever since our conference, Engaged Culture, which was deemed this year Holy Ghost, we've been in a Holy Ghost move of God. And uh we believe here at Forward City that relationships are very important. Not only does it matter what church you connect to, but it also matters who you decide to lay next to and walk with for the rest of your life.

And so your spouse, your future spouse matters. And so here we value that. We value marriage. We value singlehood as well. And today we wanted to bring in a specialist, a professional, and that is Latis Whitfield from the Dear Future Wifey podcast. Today we had a conversation with married couples with singles hosted by Lataris that helped us uh be informed but also move forward under the power of the Holy Ghost in order to have greater relationships.

So I want you to lean in, get to know what's out. Um also like, share, subscribe, tell everybody what God is doing here at Forward City Church. I love you. I'll see you at the end. >> We are live in Columbia, South Carolina at Forest City Church, y'all.

Man, I am so thankful for the Greens for having this vision to talk about relationships while y'all have been in the midst of a Holy Ghost experience. Yes, we have. >> I felt it even walking in the room. I was like, "What in the world?" This is how y'all do it.

So, this how y'all do it? >> Y'all about to mess up the whole podcast. Y'all going to be laying on the floor right there and y'all like, "Where's the host?" He's still slanged in the spirit. Just still over there slanged in the spirit. Well, let me tell you something.

Uh God has blessed me to write a book that'll be coming out called Student of Love. Uh how many of y'all know that love isn't about finding the one, it's about becoming the one? >> I love it. Good. >> I love it. >> So that's where you put the responsibility on yourself.

So let's roll this trailer. ((music playing)) I was married, cheated, flunked out of marriage. These eyes have seen the pain of failure, but also the possibility of redemption. These ears have heard the lies you'll never change. But they've also caught the whisper of truth. But Terrace, you can learn love on a level you've never known.

This finger once carried a vow I wasn't ready to honor. Today is empty, but it's unashamed. is waiting on a covenant I'll protect with wisdom. >> Will you marry me? >> I'm no expert. I'm just a fellow student. I've sat in love's classroom, even spent time at detention, but now I live with intention.

That's why I wrote student of love because learning love never ends. Sit next to me and cheat off of my paper. Cheat. Tony, can I should I use a better word? Let's just cut to the chase. Pre-order this book and start the journey on becoming a true student of love.

Class is now in session. ((music playing)) And so I was blessed to have how many of y'all know who Dr. Gary Chapman is? The writer of the five love languages. So I prayed and asked God that he would find value in my book and do the forward. And when he read the book, he said, "This book is going to transform the nations." and he wrote the forward to student of love.

How many of y'all know that there is nothing too impossible for God? >> Nothing too impossible for God. We're going to jump right into this episode and this conversation. We're going to start from the back. We're going to start from the far back on my left and I want you to introduce yourself.

Give about a 15 30 second introduction to who you are. >> Good morning. Oh, Mike. Okay. Good morning, church. My name is Jamari Thomas. I'm 22. I'm a man of God and I'm a proud citizen of this amazing church, Forest City. >> Good, good, good. >> Good morning.

My name is Ebony. I am 29 years old. I'm from Columbia, South Carolina. Um, I am a God-fearing woman. I am sold out for God. And I am a member of this beautiful church. I serve on the creative team. And this is my family. >> Good. Good. Good. >> Hey guys, it's Danny.

Um 39 years old um from Panama and uh I serve with the pastoral team and I'm just glad to be here. >> Good. Good. >> Hey guys, my name is JC and I am um 27, just turned 27 years old and I um work here on staff at Forest City Church as the production coordinator and yeah, I'm excited for today.

It's going to be awesome. Have fun. So, the people in the back row are single. Uh, and on the front they're the married couples. Uh, continue. >> Name is Hello, church. Good morning. My name is Dr. Leonard Presley, but I'm going to say Leo today cuz that's how everybody knows. >> But put some respect on that doctor.

You said Dr. Leonard. Uh-huh. Had to let him know Dr. >> Blessing, but I'm going to still get my respect on it. Um, but I we've been I've been a part we've been a part of Forest City for three years, and we found our home. We found our good soil to be planted in.

I'm a husband to this beautiful wife, a father to four wonderful boys. Um, and just blessed to be here today. >> Welcome. >> My name is Shenikas. >> Shenikica. >> Shenikasen. >> That's her government name. >> When she file her taxes, she put Shenikasen, not Shnie. Y'all know that Shanie. >> Shaunie Presley.

I am 42 years old from Miami, Florida. Haitian. Haitian. Haitian. >> Haitian nation. >> Haitian nation. We got the kids. We've been together for a very long time. And we're excited to share 19 years, right? >> Going to be 19 years. >> Going to be 19 when? >> October 21st. >> Oh, it's coming up. >> Coming up. >> 19 years.

Welcome. >> Visionaries of the house right here. This anointed coach. >> See, this is what when you get leap with your purpose partner, what it looks like. This is what you can give birth to. And so, we're going to deep dive into that as we get into this conversation.

So, introduce yourself. >> I'm Jackie Green and I have the beautiful privilege of co-pastoring this amazing church, all these amazing people in the room. Um, I have the beautiful privilege of being best friends and a wifey to this amazing man of God right here. [laughter] Um, we have three boys, uh, Jace, Josh, and Judah.

And it is the joy of my life to be able to serve people in all the different facets that the Lord has blessed me. >> Good. We don't know who you are. Can you please introduce yourself? >> Hey y'all. I'm Shai. ((applause)) My name is Travis, last name Green with an E.

And, uh, I'm just glad to be here, that's all. >> So, let me ask you, uh, PT, as your congregation affectionately likes to refer to you as, why was it important to have this conversation, to have the Dear Future Wifey podcast at Forest City Church? relationships to me and to us is just a really big deal.

I think there's uh two major decisions in your life that can change your life. Um who you lay next to and the church you get connected to. I believe those two things can really either move you forward or have you at a standstill in life. And um for me, man, I've made a lot of mistakes.

Jackie ain't one of them. And uh and um I I just think it's so vital and so a real passion for ours and we do it every single year is to put emphasis on relationships. Um but also just singlehood. You know, there's a lot of people who are single.

My mother has been single now for um 35 plus years um since the since the death of my father. And so also I want to empower people. There's some people the Bible talks about who are even called to being single. Um I wasn't one of those people. I couldn't have I couldn't have did it.

You know, it's >> not my ministry either. >> Yeah. But there's some people who that that really is your calling and so we also want to give them tools of how to live that successfully and just a burden for us. And so thank you for being here, man.

A great friend of great friend of the Greens. And so we're glad that you're here. >> We gonna have fun. So Dr. Jackie, you gota put respect on your doctor. So So Dr. Jackie, why what do you think what do you think is the challenge in this dating climate for single people to transition to even valuing marriage? >> I think the challenge that is most present is very often people um they experience a lot of the things that are supposed to be sacred and covenant to marriage uh before they actually make the vow.

And so most people will ask the question, "What's the point of making the vow when I'm already getting all the benefits?" >> There it is. There it is. >> Very many people will say, "There's no point in going to the courthouse or having this big wedding when she give me the cookies already. >> I already have the benefits of this man taking care of me."

And I think that the sanctity of marriage and the beauty of what it's supposed to bring will not be raised to the level that it's supposed to into the body, the kingdom, the examples, start living the way that God has called us to live. because I believe that we set a precedence for people understanding that yeah, you can do it beforehand.

But what I will tell you is that what you do premature will always have complications. >> Woo. So, she's going to start out just like that, stepping on everybody toes. Everybody online toes stepped on. Just stepped on. Let me talk to you, Leo. Let's just jump over here.

What made you decide to marry Shnie? >> Oh my. Look at her though. just >> uh but to be very honest I grew up in a in a society in a culture that was very marriage centric like marriage was very appropriate and very recommended very highly valued but I was a very afraid of marriage because I was like I don't know if I can find someone that I can live with until death do us part >> when I found Shaunie death do us part no longer was the goal because death is automatic that's coming it was God can make me one with her Like and from the very first time we met, set up on a blind date by an ex-girlfriend. >> Yeah, I want to talk about that.

Hold on. You ain't going to just slide on about that. >> No, no, another story. >> No, this going to be this story right now. >> How in the world did your ex-girlfriend set you up with your wife? How many of y'all know that sometimes your boyfriend or girlfriend is holding you up from meeting your wife or your husband? >> Yeah, it it was crazy.

Um she had been we I was in PT school here. I was in working on my doctorate here at University of South Carolina. Go Game Cox. And um Shaunie was on a basketball scholarship at South Carolina State. Go Bulldogs. Um so I'm in the library studying one night.

I get a phone call and as soon as I get as soon as I see the number, I'm like, "Oh, here we go again with this." It was my ex-girlfriend. And she's like I was like, "What do you want? It's 10:30 at night. I'm studying. I got a test."

She was like, "Look, no, no, I know. I know. I know. I know. But just My roommate is looking for a boyfriend. >> Hi y'all. That's a lie. >> She was looking. >> She was looking. She was looking. >> That's a lie. I wasn't looking. >> But anyway.

Anyway. So she says, "I want you to meet her." And I'm like, "I don't want to meet her." But just to get her off the phone, I'll talk to her on the phone. I get her on the phone with Shnie and Shnie starts to describe herself to me completely opposite try.

She tried to make herself sound as unattractive as possible. And the first thing I said is, "You're crazy a little bit." And I like that. I like that. So, we met, fast forward, we met that next week, um, at my ex-girlfriend's house. >> Um, yeah, it's crazy. Listen, I'll have to talk to y'all in the lobby.

I can't give you all details right now, but so, and then we met and from that first night, she fed me an apple pie from McDonald's, and I was through. It was over. >> Shnie, let me ask you this. Why were you open to dating your roommate's ex?

I didn't know. >> Oh, they she never told you that one. >> No. Had I known that, I would have never talked to him. Cuz I don't date my friend's boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever. >> How many of y'all have rules where y'all don't date y'all friends, exes? See, y'all missed your blessing.

You missed your blessing. You miss your blessing. You miss your blessing. God is trying to give you a breakthrough right now. >> So, he made sure I didn't know those details. And so how long did how long you dating him before you found out that he was your roommate's ex? >> Probably six months. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> God told me to hold it.

Don't say nothing. >> God tell you to hold it. >> He ain't never say nothing. >> He never said nothing. >> So who's at fault? Him or your your roommate? >> I'm going to say God didn't give me the details. because he was for me >> and I was for him.

So I'm glad he kept that detail away from me cuz I would have missed out on his blessing. >> She said I would have missed out on this blessing. I love it. I love it. Let's go over here to these dating streets, Jamari. How have these dating streets been treating you or how have you been treating these dating streets? >> Oh, I'm out the streets. >> Are you out the streets?

You're in a committed relationship right now, right? I'll start by saying I'm in a almost two-year long relationship with that beautiful woman on cam 5. >> Where she at? Stand up. >> Where she at? Stand up, >> Miss Kennedy. There you go. >> Yes, ma'am. Um, so I will say it it wasn't always glamorous and honestly it wasn't always kingdom or holy, >> but um, you know, we we found the Lord together.

And I think that was the biggest part of why we're so strong now is we were able to build a foundation that can't be shaken. And in the dating streets now, I feel like it's so much that it's so saturated with lust and perversion and toxicity. And that's the new norm.

And we said starting off, I met her years ago. Years ago, she saw me and she couldn't come on. She couldn't get enough. >> She didn't do you like that, did she? >> Absolutely. >> But I will say the very first time that I saw her brown eyes, her lip said hello and I said hi. >> Okay.

Okay. But it's since then it's just we knew we wanted something deeper and the Lord called us to go deeper and that's where we are now. >> And so what makes her different from every other woman you dated? >> Proverbs 31. >> Come on now. And um >> he didn't even hesitate.

You understand me? >> Come on now. And um truly it's just the as a man you it's rare to have the ability to step back into submit and being able to when I'm down she can lift me up in prayer or when I'm down I can go to her humbly and honestly knowing that if this is who I'm going to do forever with I'm in good hands knowing that the Lord has put her in my life. >> I want to unpack some stuff as a single man as a single black man.

What are some negative things that you were taught that you thought were positive by some of the OGs in the hood? We got to dismantle some of these lies that we were taught. What are some of those things? >> First off, the devil is a lie. >> So, when I was brought up, I was brought up by, >> of course, my amazing mom.

But when I hung around my dad and my uncles, you know, we taught up to why have one fish when you can have a whole tank full, you know? Why why settle down? kind of how what Pastor Jackie said, we're taught to do everything that's supposed to be lessful in marriage outside of it.

You know, you're supposed to test drive a car before you buy it. And it it made things hard for my younger years. It made things almost seeming like I was disting distancing myself from my future wife >> because I'm supposed to have >> sit right there. >> Right there.

That's a breakthrough. You said spiritually you felt like you were distancing yourself from your future wife. And the reason why that's so important is because of all these entanglements. When you take those vows, when you say, "I do." If you don't break those soul ties, they all join you in that bed.

And so now you got to dismantle all these other relationships, all these different connections that you have. After you said, "I do." Your body don't say, "Oh, I forgot." You know what I'm saying? Your flesh still remembers. And so that's so important for you to remember or for you to acknowledge that you felt like you were distancing yourself from your future wifey. >> Absolutely.

And um I think we forget that we have to be a husband and be a wife before we become one. The Lord says when a man finds a wife, not when he finds a girlfriend, not when he finds a wife. So, you have to really carry yourself with that hawk posture of, you know, I can't go out to the clubs and do all things that I would do because I'm waiting for a man.

I'm not going to cook for a man because he ain't my husband yet. You don't cook for yourself. >> So, it it's just having those things and building those foundations and under under Yeah, y'all. And just under understanding all of that before you get prepared get into that prepared place of marriage and covenant. >> That's good.

Thank you for your transparency, Jamar. Give it up for him. Ebony, how's these single streets been treating you? >> Um. Mhm. So, for me, being single is a challenge because all I've known was relationships. I feel like I've had a relationship ever since middle school. >> Okay. Um, my mama is a lover girl, so she's always been in relationships.

And when you when that's all that you know and God is calling you out of it and away from it, you lose who you thought you were. >> You know, I thought my identity was in my relationships. So, whenever that person hurt me or that person left me, I'm broken.

I'm lost. So God told me time and time and time again to be single, but I ran from that calling for a long time. I finally was sick and tired of being disappointed. >> Um being heartbroken, >> being let down. >> Um and God was like, "Whenever you're ready, whenever you have had enough, I'm I got more for you."

People always prophesy that to me that >> God has more for you. And I never knew what that meant. So I decided to finally answer the call to be single >> and that was in the month of February of this year. >> February. >> After your last breakup. >> Yes.

After my last. >> And now you So how you been doing? Have you been growing weary in your well doing? >> Absolutely. >> So you so you said absolutely. And so what has been the challenge to remain single during this season? How many of y'all know that God is a jealous God?

And he said there'll be no other gods before him. And so often times we put relationships in the position and the place that God wants to be in our lives. And so how have you been feeling through this February been the month of love where people celebrate uh love?

Were you in a relationship during that time? >> No, I was not. >> And how did you feel in the month of February for God to call you out of that relationship that you were in to now say I want to be your first love? >> In that moment I was mad.

Um, in the moment I was heartbroken. Um, a lot comes to the surface when you're single. So, you have no choice but to face every part of yourself. Um, whatever turmoil that's been hiding in your heart, whatever dark places that you've hidden from God, whatever trauma that has taken root, you have to face it all. >> Like, you have to look it square in his eyes.

And it's scary. >> It's scary. But that's where I've learned to lean on the Holy Spirit. Where I've learned to lean on God because everybody else couldn't handle that weight. >> Only God can handle that weight. So >> yeah, >> Ebony. Ebony. Ebony. >> Wow. >> Listen, that is so good. >> Cuz let me tell you why that's so important.

What God just revealed to me. A lot of times you're not dealing with the stuff you need to deal with in your single season. Then you get married and you bring all that into the marriage and be like, "I married the wrong person." No, you didn't deal with the stuff you needed to deal with and now you're putting the burdens on him.

The Bible says, "Cast all your cares on me because I care for you." Hence, put all that on your husband. Put all that on your wife. They weren't built to handle all that. And then you're getting mad and devaluing who they're supposed to be in your life because you didn't deal with what she is dealing with in her single season.

And what happens is is God is making her lighter. He's making her lighter so that when she takes vows or she meets that person, he go, "Oo, this is something special about you. It's something different about you. You feel so light." That's what's so beautiful about her. So, Ebony, I pray right now that what you just said broke through right now in the name of Jesus.

And people begin to tackle those things that they've been carrying. The Bible says his yoke is easy. His burden is light. And so I pray right now in the name of Jesus that you face those dark spaces in your life. That you come against those lies that have been spoken to you even when you're a little girl, even when you're a little boy.

And you break free from those things in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. Wooing >> Danny. >> Amazing. >> You think you look good, don't you, Danny? He do. He do. Don't. He think he look good. Danny think he all fine and cute and stuff.

Danny, why are you single? >> Why are you single? >> I haven't accepted who I was. >> Um >> All right. >> You know, I've I've I've >> I've hurt a lot of God's daughters. >> I want you to say that again for the people in the back that need a breakthrough. >> I've hurt a lot of God's daughters.

And um I just have to understand that my past is who I am. And I've been through a lot of hurt, daddy issues. So, you know, God smacked me about two years ago. >> And uh he said, "It's time." >> I started attending the church, started hanging out with the guys here instead of the streets. >> Wow. >> I was trying to find, you know, I was, you know, I was I was the club guy, >> you I was the guy in the streets that everybody knew.

And um I started feeling uncomfortable in the places that I used to feel comfortable. >> Yeah, that's good. >> And um you know, he said your your truth is someone else's miracle. >> That's good, Danny. >> You might you might not be perfect. You may not know every verse in the Bible, but you're going to save lives.

So, >> I just told myself that it's time >> and it's we on it now. >> So, two years ago, two years ago, you've accepted your past and you know that God can use your past to set people free. >> Correct. >> Uh, do you find value? Let me ask you, do you desire to be married? >> Oh, yeah.

I'm ready. >> You ready? >> You ready? >> I'm ready. But, you know, the problem is I'm I feel I'm so ready that I'm I'm jumping too quick. I'll meet somebody. I'm like, "Oh, that's the one." Right away. Right away. Um, but I, you know, I have to understand you got to go through the process though, you know.

And my problem is at 39, I used to think that it's it's all about a timing thing. And we have to understand it's all on his time. And I I really feel that as some people who are single and a little bit older, we just feel like we have to rush the process.

You know what? What I do what I do love is that when I was reborn, I felt like I restarted. >> Wow. >> Right. >> So, don't don't rush the process. I'm still Danny. I'm still happy. I'm 39. I you know, I want kids and all that, but it's it's with timing. >> What is your dating age range?

Just for the people that are curious out there. It's the people. I'm doing this for the people of God out there. What What What is your dating age range? You know, to be honest with with you guys, that's been a battle that I've been trying to figure out.

You know, what is acceptable? What is not acceptable? >> Put the microphone close to your mouth. >> Oh, I'm sorry about that. What is acceptable and what's not acceptable, you know? Um, I tend to date within my range, but then because I'm single and I'm out, I meet people 10 years younger than me.

I've met people 10 years older than me, >> you know. So, I'm still I'm still working on that. >> So, I know what you meet, but what is your desire? I'm trying to make it plain. What is your desire? When you hear the Lord speaking to you, are you saying that you know you 39?

Are you saying 29 to 49? Are you saying just just make it plain? ((applause)) You know, I was told I was going to be stretched and pushed. PT uh 30 to 40s. >> 30 to 40. 30 to 40s. All right. Somebody was clapping back there. I heard somebody clapping. 30 to 40s.

They they felt like God spoke to them when you said 30 or 40. They said, "I fit in that age group." So, they clapped their hands. They felt the breakthrough. They felt confirmation in the spirit when you just said what you just said. All right, Danny. All right, Danny.

All right. Good. I'mma get off of you, Casey. >> Jacy. Jaci, how you doing, Queen? >> I'm good. How are you? So, how has these dating streets been treating you? Do you desire marriage? You said you're 27. >> Yeah. >> You're 27 years old. Um, were you a young girl that had in your mind the age you would be married by? >> Um, yeah.

I kind of grew up in a culture that marriage was popular, like you don't go to college to get your degree. You go get your MRS degree. So, you're actually shopping for a husband when you go to college. That was what I was taught. >> Hold on. I want y'all to hear that.

I want y'all to hear that because I hear that a lot with with our white family and friends that they go to college to get married. >> Yeah. >> Y'all go to mar y'all go to college to be career women and all that and then y'all delay marriage after all that and they get married they go to college to go find their person that they can build with.

This is important. So go ahead. >> But that was not me. >> Okay. She just messed up my whole testimony right there. I was trying >> She just >> Let me Yeah, let me make that clear. that was not me. Um, but I was very committed. Um, I feel like I've known singleness more than I've known being in a relationship.

Um, for I didn't I didn't really have a boyfriend until I was 23 years old. It was like my first relationship. Um, because I was surrounded by strong independent women and they kind of showed me that you can kind of do this by yourself or you don't really need a man, you know.

Um, but as I've gotten older in my adulthood, the desires the Lord has given me is to be married, is to be a mom. >> When did that happen? When did that shift happen? >> Cuz you're only 27. >> Yeah. It probably like 24 I was like, "Okay, I'm going to accept this desire, accept this call."

Like, "Okay, Lord, you do want this for me." Um, and I actually didn't start like praying for my spouse or even thinking that was possible until then. So, I was like 24. Um, I thought it was weird for some reason to pray for your future husband. I didn't know why.

I think it's because I grew up with a single mom and I didn't I just I didn't know I didn't know you should do that or I didn't know it required faith to believe that marriage is for me that I desire marriage. I desire to be um a mom and that it requires faith for me to pray for that.

So, I I'm very content in my singleness. I am good. I like being single, but I also know the desires God has given me. So, it's a wrestle. It's kind of a wrestle, if that makes sense. I don't know. >> I love how you keep referring to it as a call.

Why do you feel like marriage is a call? >> That's a little question. I think marriage is a call. Um because you're not being called like you're being called to a person and to care for them. Um, you have to create space in in yourself in order to like care for another person to partner with someone in life.

Like you have to be called to that. Like it's a selfless act. Like it's sacrifice. You can't do it by yourself. You have to ask for God. I'm sure with the married couple, you have to ask for God to help you in your marriage and in your relationships.

You can't do it on your own. So I feel like it is a call because you're you're opening yourself up to someone to share space space with you to hold the hard things to hold all the stuff. You're asking someone else to partner with you in that. >> You said in your bio that you submitted that it was a time in your life where you looked at your purity as something negative.

Why is that? I want you to speak to young men and young women out there where the devil tries to plant those lies in their mind and so that they can hold value in that. Can you speak to that please? >> Yes. Um so probably during around high school um and college my purity really became an insecurity for me because everybody around me was doing all the things trying all the things testing the car before driving all the stuff and I wasn't I just wasn't I wasn't involved in that. like I didn't I didn't ever struggle with that temptation or struggle with that.

And so my purity because I was like saving myself or that kind of thing became like is this like a bad thing? Like is it me? Like am I the problem and I'm not pretty enough? Am I not whatever? Like all the lies of the enemy. So it become it became an insecurity and a problem I thought until I learned that God honors that.

God honors a woman who saves himself. God honors a woman who protects that part of them, their innocence. Um, and God sees that as something honorable. And I will find a man that honors that about me, >> too. >> Yeah. >> Pastors, what do you think when you hear about the climate?

I know you probably doing the side release of gosh I thank God I'm not in these dating streets but what do you think about that PT when you're hearing this commentary about uh the complexities of single people finding their purpose partners? >> Um for me it's enlightening you know um I love these type of conversations.

First of all, man, you you are an incredible incredible host and you are literally anointed um for this subject and I I'm grateful that you rose to the occasion of that calling. >> Um because you are really really really gifted in that in a supernatural way. Um for me, if I'm honest, I'm not a know-it-all.

I love being in conversations or in spaces where I can learn. I've been out the single streets for now almost two decades. And so it's just been a long time. And um I I'm accepting the fact that I'm a I'm an old man now. You know, being an old man. >> I'm an old man.

I'm in my 40s. And so there's just so much I don't know or or so much that I forgot about. Um and so for me, honestly, I'm I'm learning. Um, I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago and one of my one of my best friends is getting married and I was at the table and one of the guys uh uh you know just he just got married and I I just opened the table up and I was like you guys need to educate me because I'm a pastor and I've been out the streets so long like what is what's going on out here?

And and one of the subjects I brought up is about I'm hearing this thing now that u married couples are having problems with sexual intimacy and I'm hearing it's not the woman who's holding out it's the guys >> really. >> I'm just hearing that especially in the church and I'm like >> man I just don't understand.

You know what I mean? Well, a lot of that is attached to a lot of pornography. Like they've normalized pornography in their lives so much and the devil is gotten to the secret battleground of their mind where they're no longer desiring their wives. They're desiring that woman in in that home. >> Exactly.

Exactly. So, they were educating me on this stuff and I'm just I'm baffled. I'm like, man, like tell me more. Like, I just don't even know anything about that. And so, for me, honestly, I'm in a place and I'm a different type of leader. I'm not a leader who pretends that I have all the answers.

I'm actually inquisitive. And so I love your podcast and I love other um forums and platforms where I could just be educated. So for me, I'm turning around listening to these people and I'm just like, whoa, man. I didn't like they giving me more more arsenal honestly uh and ammunition to to fight against because I just feel like I'm more informed. >> Good.

Love it. So Dr. Jackie, what would you like to say in conclusion? what what what could you speak to the daughters of the ministry, the sons of the ministry? What what what could you just pour out? >> Um just even kind of similar to Travis when I was listening to uh the perspectives that were behind me, even listening to Shnie and uh Leo, I'm actually blessed today to know that there are people out here still do wanting to do it and pursuing the kingdom way.

I believe to Travis's point very often when you mentor so many people you only hear the bad side. You only hear the struggles you and that not to say that they didn't present struggles but I did hear inside of their struggle a desire for God's kingdom way to be present. even the truth to say I didn't know who I was yet and I was doing women wrong or even to say like I'm so used to being in a relationship that I don't I didn't know myself but I'm choosing to use singleness not as just this waiting game like God God when as much as I'm saying God who am I and what do you want to do in me so that when I get there I'll be ready for that.

I think all of those things coupled together um was super strong. Uh, even JC recognizing that God uses specificity around our particular bent in our history to be the magnet for the thing that's supposed to be attracted to us. I believe that that's a word for so many out there.

They're saying, "Well, God, why did I go through that? It might not be your purity. It might have been something negative that you live through that will attract somebody to the area of brokenness because that's the thing that God has anointed them to actually pour into." And so I just believe altogether in this conversation that God has been so specific in reminding us that we can still do it his way. >> Absolutely. >> That's the thing that was most present to me. >> Listen, thank y'all so much.

This has been another powerful episode of the Dear Future Wifey podcast live at Ford City Church in Columbia, South Carolina. Thank y'all so much for being an awesome audience. Y'all give it up for this amazing group of panelists. Y'all come on y'all. Come on y'all. >> Wow. Wow, wow.

Wow. What an incredible conversation. Hopefully, you were blessed by it and hopefully God moved your heart back to a place of uh purity, back to a place of unification even in your spouse. And we're praying for that for you. Um if you're single, remember that your purity matters.

Um if you're married, remember that unity and harmony matters. And what God brings together, let no man separate. Listen, if you're here, you're watching, you're listening, and you're far from them. I'd love to encourage you to pray this prayer with me in order so you can receive the Lord as your personal savior.

You ready? Let's do it. Lord Jesus, I believe you died on the cross for my sins. And I believe that you rose so I don't have to stay down. Today I receive you as my Lord and my Savior. And because of that, I'm saved. I'm changed. I'm different now in Jesus name.

Amen. If you prayed that prayer, there's a link below. If you're watching or if you're listening, please email us today. uh connect at Forest City Church. Uh and we would love to just connect with you to know your story, to know what God is doing in your life.

Um and just thank you. Thank you uh for joining us today. We are so deeply moved and honored. I love you. I'll see you soon. God bless.