The Place Beyond Okay | Relationship | Judah Smith

Hey, welcome back to another weekly service. If you're just joining us for the first time, I'm Judah, married Chelsea, have three kids, I love Jesus, and I love golf. Not always in that order, but no, seriously, u we are so glad you joined us for well, the beginning of July.

This is my wife's birthday month. Maybe it's your birthday month. The month of July. I love July. For those that live in this part of the world, July is usually warm and sunny and uh I like July. This month, I want to talk to you from the subject the place beyond okay.

And here's what's been preoccupying my mind lately. And I'm going to say it plainly is am I okay? Am I okay? It's been an unprecedented season in my life, in our marriage, in our family. I am staring uh what they call empty nest season in the face. 2018 16 as we turn the cameras on right now to record today.

My second son, my 18-year-old, has exactly five. Now, if you don't count today, he's got four days left of high school and he's going to play college basketball next year on a college scholarship because he got his athletic DNA from his father. And I'm pleased to announce that.

But life is changing so fast. Couple of nights ago, I had a friend come over for dinner and he said, "The world's changed in the last two years more than we can even comprehend. And some people are feeling left behind. It's changing. Technology is changing. Culture is changing rapidly.

Information is being disseminated at a rate that is affecting all of us. So the truth is is the camera is turned on. We are two hours late to recording today quite frankly because this morning I had uh more pastoral emergencies than I normally do. More urgent calls. Um one friend told me he simply can't sleep.

He's in Canada right now. He can't sleep. My other friend who's in Seattle. My other friend who's in Los Angeles, my friend in Canada is on a remote job away from his family. My friend in LA is feeling isolated and alone. My friend in Seattle is feeling encouraged yet confused.

That was just this morning. And the overwhelming kind of feeling is am I okay? Are we doing okay? Um I'm an emotional person and we all have emotions of course, but some of us our personalities tend and trend to more emotion. And so if you're like me, in a matter of 15 minutes, I can go from the greatest space and place of my life to the sky is falling and my life is over.

How do you know you're okay? Better yet, how do you get beyond okay? Like if you ever ask anyone like, "How are you doing?" and they say, "Okay." That's not ideal, right? We want to be more than okay. We want to be good, perhaps even great. How do you decide, dictate, determine, decipher if you're doing okay?

How would you answer that question right now? I'm staring at you through this camera. Hey, you. How you doing? Are you okay? How you doing with all this? How you doing with this rapidly changing world that frankly none of us can fully keep up with? How you doing?

My 2018 and 16year-old share some news at some point every single day. That to me is befuddling. To me it's like I've never heard anything like that. We are learning things every day. my Instagram feed right now. I've returned to Instagram in the last two months and I must tell you my life is in a steep decline, you know.

But but seriously, it is so challenging and I don't know why the algorithm feeds me gator attacks, snake attacks, and shark attacks. Guys, this is crazy. Last night in my bathtub, I watched a king cobra slither over a man's bed as he awoken in the morning somewhere in the remote parts of Africa.

And then the king cobra stood up and the camera went and you heard him screaming. I'm like, what in the why am I watching this? Why can I not turn it off? What's going on? We're getting so much put in front of us. Are we okay? Are you okay?

Am I okay? Is that just all left to chance? Is that all left to conditions? Conditions are ideal. I'm great. I was complaining to a friend last week that now my puppy, you ever felt like this? It's like like I needed one more thing to be like so concerned that well, what if something happened to Louie?

What if something happened to my puppy? I just couldn't handle that. I was talking to a pastor friend yesterday and I lost my puppy a couple of summers ago kind of out in the woods in Washington forest and I was screaming and his little boys were there and I think I scarred them and we were laughing just yesterday on the phone actually.

I think it was yesterday and he's like man sure glad we found that dog if we hadn't found that dog. It's like life feels so precious right now. It feels so finite. so fragile. Am I okay? Are you okay? How do you know? Maybe you have a therapist.

Maybe you, like me, for most of my life, I didn't think a therapist was in the cards because I can't afford therapy. It's expensive. My friend told me, I got a lot of stories about my friends recently, but his therapist charges $50 an hour. I was like, that's that's a good price these days for therapy.

So maybe you're watching this like, I I don't even have the funds for therapy to even ask a therapist if I'm okay. So what are we going to do? This month is dedicated to you not just being okay, for you to discover the place past okay, beyond okay.

And there is a place. And in that place, there is a person that can take you past okay, beyond okay, perhaps in the middle of maybe not so ideal circumstances and situation and context, you could discover an inward buoyancy, an inward aliveness and resiliency that could actually stand up to the most difficult and painful storms of life.

Right now, in the middle of this recording, or I should say at the beginning of the recording for the month of July 2025, I can honestly say with full confidence that Chelsea and I and our family are experiencing headwind, challenges, and pain, perhaps in the most acute and the most intense way that I can remember challenges.

As I said this morning, just this morning, the pain and challenges that some of my friends have shared has taken me a couple hours just to prepare to turn on the camera and record these messages because I'm a feeler and I feel the things that they're facing and they affect me.

And maybe maybe that makes a lot of sense to you right now while you're watching this. I was texting and voice memoing with a friend this morning and I was telling him I usually sleep so good, but even recently I've just it's I've been waking up and not falling asleep easily.

And he's like, "Oh my word, me too." And he's like, "Oh man, that helps." And then he felt bad and he's like, "Well, I'm sorry if that I don't mean like I want you to not sleep, but you not sleeping helps me with me not sleeping and I feel like I'm not alone."

And yet we both said, "Okay, but we're going to pray that tonight we sleep good." But I assure you, if you feel there are ferocious headwinds in your life, if you feel resistance and pain and challenges, um, I got good news. I can honestly say after 46 years of living in the most acute pain, in the steepest of mountains, I have found the most beauty.

And what I mean by that is I have found the nearness of God there unlike any other space and place. And I got a feeling this month of July. I really do. And I'm not just saying this that you are going to come upon a place beyond okay. that you're going to discover inward buoyancy and beauty and majesty, contentment and peace and fulfillment and direction and a sense of purpose and meaning maybe unlike ever before.

I want to take you through an exercise in the month of July. An exercise that I utilize to this day. Several years ago, I felt like I met God in the beginning of the book. In the book called the beginning, Genesis means the beginning. In the book called the beginning, we are privy to the original place God puts man, the original home.

We call it paradise. We call it the garden. And there Adam and Eve are placed and they begin to procreate, populate, have children, and the rest is history. As they say, I want us to go to the original home. I want us to go to the original space and place God put man to discover there are elements here that I think are to be considered, celebrated, and leaned into.

And by doing so, you can create the most optimal environment for your soul and for your life. So, I've called them the four Rs. We're titling this month the the place beyond. Okay. But oftentimes I refer to these as the four Rs. And so I'm going to dedicate the next four weeks.

We're going to look at each R, if you will. So this week we'll talk about relationship. Next week we'll talk about rest. The week after that we'll talk about restriction. And the last we will talk about can anyone guess responsibility. I was like trying to do a pregnant pause and like but Ethan help me.

Responsibility which restriction and responsibility I know they hit a little bit like h relationship and rest sounds so much but but actually there is beauty in all of these but here's what happens in my life and I'll say it plainly and maybe I'll cover this in the next couple of weeks just to kind of jog your memory but I will number these one to four.

I will look at rest, relationship, restriction, responsibility, and I will ask myself where am I strong and where am I weak? Because you're going to find out in the original garden, these four elements, these four aspects almost serve like four boundaries, four walls that produce the most optimal environment for your being, your essence, and your living.

And by addressing these like how am I doing with responsibility? How am I doing resting? How am I doing in my relationships? Or how am I doing with restriction and saying no? And you'll discover one through four, right? One is what you're doing best in or maybe four is what you're doing best in, but I always go one to four.

One is like my top what I'm doing so good in. Two, three, four. Now, often times I'll turn my attention to three and four and say, "Okay, I've got to work on leaning in in my responsibility or in resting." And I have found these to serve me in such a profound way.

We're going to start with relationship. And and here's why. Because that is what this life is ultimately all about. Don't get it twisted. That's what this life is about. This life is about relationship. It's about relationship. There is nothing more significant, more important, or more valuable than relationship.

In fact, in a way, I'll prove it. the beginning of this divine mystical magical book called the Bible the bestselling book of all time there is only mention of all these good and beautiful things that God has created but in Genesis 2:18 we get the very first the very first not good and the record almost skips right the the music almost stops and all the way up in Genesis 21:17 everything has been good Good.

Good. Cuz all God does is good. And all of the sudden the story takes a sudden turn. It says, "It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him." The first not good sheds light on the purpose of it all and that is relationship.

I want to talk about four relationships that are essential for you to live in a place beyond. Okay. Four elements and four not elements, four relationships that you should lean into, foster, develop, and cultivate. Now, these last eight minutes or seven minutes I'm going to take, I'm going to go over that.

But let's stop. Hold on a second. When I say relationships, what comes up? Perhaps pain, perhaps agitation, perhaps frustration. I mentioned to a friend just the other day, marriage is the most complex thing on the planet, hands down. And yet one of the most rewarding relationships are complicated.

Why? Cuz people are complicated. Relationships can hurt. Why? Because people can hurt. Relationships can be misunderstanding. Why? Because people can be misunderstanding. How you doing? Maybe relationship is not what you want to focus on because in the relationship area you are pained by one of the most popular pains in the world.

Loneliness. I can't make this up. This morning a friend hit me with I feel so alone. How are you doing in relationships? I want to say this. This whole story begins this whole elusive place beyond okay where you are your optimal self where you are fully alive where you are a new kind of being.

It all starts with God. All of it. One of my favorite statements ever about summing up the whole of the human existence is enjoy God enjoying you. That's the essence of it all. That same book, the beginning book, the Genesis book, it says God came to Adam and Eve walking in the cool of the day.

Which leads us to believe Genesis 3:8 leads us to believe that God came for what was probably a consistent walk where he enjoyed Adam and Eve. Life is about a relationship with God. But here's the problem. I can barely find Chili's downtown. I can barely find Chick-fil-A in the next neighborhood.

How will I ever find God? You won't and you can't. But he can and he will. He'll find you. And that's the overwhelming evidence and story of Jesus. Jesus is God in physical visible form who came to find you and me. Jesus solved the relationship breakdown between God and man.

The breakdown was God is perfect and we are flawed and imperfect and that sin separates us makes it very difficult for us to understand each other connect and even see each other. It is a endless void and chasm between God and man. Jesus fixed that. What did he fix?

The sin problem. Our selfish, sinful, self-serving ways have separated us from God. But Jesus closed the gap and said on the cross, "It is finished." And now all of the distance between man and God has been solved and covered and now officially and eternally connected. And now man has access to God forever.

Not through our deeds, efforts, and morals, but through the finished work of Jesus. And so now you can enjoy God enjoying you because God has exhausted his judgment and his wrath in the person of Jesus. And so what is left for you and for me by simply accepting the finished work of Jesus, we are forgiven forever and have relationship with him.

The truth is guys, I could go for the next month on rest, relationship, restriction, and responsibility. And these four elements, they have significance. But I must say ultimately they fall flat without stopping and accepting and absorbing and realizing that there is a God. And through his work on the cross, he has solved the sin problem.

And now we have access and relationship to him. So in the four Rs, they're really five Rs because the first one is redemption. Redemption means he paid a price for us and now we're his forever. And the relationship is not only realistic, it is available, readily available to you and to me.

Maybe you've heard about a relationship with God. Maybe you've heard about this football coach or this officer of the law as people attempt to describe God. But his favorite title, his favorite version of himself, if you will, his favorite, excuse me, title of himself is father. He's your perfect father.

And you can enjoy a relationship with him. So where this entire journey begins, this place beyond okay, it starts with the heavy lifting and the perfect work that Jesus has done for you and for me. The ancient scripture says, "He who knew no sin became sin so that you and I might have a right relationship with God forever and ever."

So this relationship with God cannot be earned. It cannot be deserved but simply accepted and absorbed. Now having established that there are three other relationships I want you to consider. And in a moment, I'm going to be done. And I am hoping I am in I'm dreaming that there are people in the room you're in.

Or maybe you can FaceTime them. And together you can explore this place beyond. Okay. How am I doing in my relationships? Next week, we're going to talk about rest and we're going to talk about what rest is. But for now, think about your relationship with God. That's been solved by Jesus.

Just accept. Just accept. That's the hardest part. Just accept. Now with your family, who's your family? Well, it's the evidence first of all of who you're called to. Who am I called to serve? Well, as broken and maybe average ordinary or below average ordinary your family may be, God gave you a DNA.

He gave you a background. There are people you're related to. I think that is evidence that in some way you are called to serve and love and forgive those people. It's a tall order, but how are you doing with your family? How are you doing in forgiving your family?

Then there's a third relationship. God, family, and now partnership. What's partnership? Well, the scripture says in Genesis chapter 2, it's not good for man to be alone, but he will make a partner equal to Adam, comparable to Adam, fit for Adam, which is to say, God grants us deep and profound partnership.

Often times in the context of marriage where you find someone who is equal, equal in divine significance, equal in role together, working together to experience and explore the depth of romance and the depth of confluence and care. And it is in this deep partnership called marriage, every part of you will be tested.

But the scripture guarantees it'll be rewarding and fulfilling. The scripture gives us a lot of material on marriage. And to distill it down would be almost overwhelming, but I'll try. Marriage is serving. Marriage is considering the other before yourself. Marriage is laying down your desires and laying down your agenda to serve the other.

Marriage, it's wild. 25 years over here and I have worked on Chelsea for many years and she is doing better. That's a joke. Chelsea has been patient with me. But we have a deep partnership. We are partners. Yes, lovers. Yes, best friends. But God gave us a partnership to foster, develop, protect, pray over, and keep.

And we're committed to that. The four relationships with God, family, partnerships, and then deep connection. I could say friends, but it's it's more than friends. It's not being about being friendly. This is a word that's used in the Greek and the New Testament called Coinia. And the early uh followers of the way of Jesus, they shared their life, they shared their time, they shared their resources, they shared their heart, deep connection.

How are you doing in deep connection? And I got to tell you, the reason I am still in community work is because I believe in Cornineia. I believe in the need that you and I have for deep connection. If you're going to live in a place beyond okay, if you're going to ask yourself, am I doing okay?

Think about these four relationships. How am I doing with God? How am I doing with my family? I do mean DNA family. How am I fostering partnership? And how am I doing with deep connection? Now, with all of these things, here's the irony about relationship. Relationship helps relationship.

I'm going to say it again. Relationship helps relationship. You don't go away by yourself to fix your relationships. You often times got to engage your relationships to help your relationships, right? So to consider God, go to God, talk to him, pray, call your family, break down walls, tell them you forgive them freely.

You've been forgiven. Freely forgive them. Lean into partnerships. Understand their equal divine significance to you and honor that and celebrate that and defer to them and encourage that. And then look for and cultivate deep connection. Now some of you might be listening to this and I'm done and say I am really doing well in the area of relationship.

That is awesome. Now others of us might be like I'm doing okay. And then some of us might say I'm failing royally. There's no good, bad or ugly. Let's just honestly ask ourselves where am I doing in the first R? Where am I? What's going on? Maybe you want to rank it one to four like I do in helping you continue to live in a place beyond okay.

If this works for me, it can work for you. So honestly, you know where I'm going. There's no other way but to say, "Now, can you go take just this 27 minutes of content and engage with each other in community and in relationship? Talk it out about God, family, partnerships, and deep connection.

Talk it out and process it. This is most clearly and obviously most effective in the context of connection with each other." I feel like Judah, I got nobody to talk to. Pastor Chat. I'm so serious. Go on Pastor Chat right now. There are literally leaders and pastors and community members ready to pray with you, text with you, talk with you, encourage you, and then we'll do everything we can to connect you with people in your part of the world so that you can experience better than okay, beyond okay, cuz I think that's God's plan for your life.

Let me pray for you. God, I thank you for the minutes and moments we share. So much has been said. We see it. We sense it. We feel it. Meet us here though. If you don't meet us, if you don't redeem us, these four Rs fall flat. That's the truth, and we know it.

Meet us. Thank you, Jesus, for your presence, your goodness, and your essence. We thank you for all that you are doing in the life of our community. and we pray, "Your kingdom come and your will be done." If you're watching this and you would like to receive the totally and complete free forgiveness that only Jesus offers.

Forgiveness for your heir, your wrong, your selfishness, and your sin, you can do that right now. Say, "I receive it. I receive him." And it's done. You're forgiven forever. We're here to help you, walk with you, serve you any way we can. I'm so excited for the month of July.

Please, if you can join us for all four Rs. Next week we are talking about one of my favorite topics which is rest. Thanks for watching church home. See you soon. ((music playing)) This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breathe. Your holy presence living in me.

((music playing)) This is my daily bread. This is my daily breath. Your very word spoken to me. ((music playing)) I'm desperate for you. ((music playing)) I'm lost without you. ((music playing)) ((music playing)) I'm just before you ((music playing)) ((music playing)) ((music playing)) ((music playing)) And how I live for the moments where I'm still in your presence and all the noise that's sound. Lord, speak to me now.

You have all my attention. I will listen. I can't miss a thing. And Lord, I know my heart wants more of you. My heart wants something new. So I surrender all and all I want is to live within your love be undone by who you are. My desire is to know you deeper.

Lord I will open up again for my fears into the wind. I'm desperate for the touch of wo. ((music playing)) You're the fire in the morning. You're the cool in the evening. The breath in my soul, your life in my bones. There is no hesitation in your love and affection.

It's the sweetest I want you. My heart wants something. I surrender. Heat. Heat. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. ((music playing)) ((music playing)) I open up my heart to you. I open up my heart to you now. So do what only can Jesus Jesus have your way in I open up my heart to you.

Oh, ((music playing)) heat, heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. Heat. yourself within your love beyond by who you are. My desire is to know you deeper. I will open up again. Put my fears into the wind. I am desperate for the touch of heaven. Desperate for ((music playing)) des will be ((music playing)) in your burn ((music playing)) my heart burns ((music playing)) in my ((music playing)) for you in my heart.

It burns. Heat up here. Yeah. Heat. Heat. Heat. ((music playing)) ((music playing)) Heat. Heat. N. ((music playing)) Heat. Heat. ((music playing))