‘God Never Gives Up’: A Pastor Overcomes Fear

((music playing)) I said, 'Baby, they have a pastor. We're going to get on a plane, go back to Dallas, and find where God wants us to serve, and it's not going to be here, so relax. When Phil Tuttle went to a practice interview at a rural church, he told his wife he had no intentions of ever becoming their pastor.

In fact, he had an abject fear of public speaking and thought he'd never measure up to what a lead pastor should be. But throughout his life, God has grown Phil's faith by pushing him out of his comfort zone. Phil has held on to that faith through discomfort and disappointment personally, professionally, and with his family.

And as he has held on, God has blessed him and kept pushing him from his comfort zone, from behind the scenes to the front of the line. Today, Phil is a husband to Ellen, father of two, and the president and CEO of a ministry that's been around for 90 years, Walk through the Bible.

You'll hear more of his journey on this episode of GPS, God, People, Stories. It's an outreach of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. I'm Jim Kirkland. At the heart of Phil's story is a struggle that many people today are familiar with. Perhaps you are. This is what Billy Graham observed.

There are millions of people that are confused, frustrated, and perplexed today. They do not know whether they're abound, but wherever it is, they fear to arrive there. You'll hear the answer to this fear and confusion later on in this episode. You may be struggling with these issues, however, right now, and you feel like you need answers right now.

If that's the case, visit our website, find peacewithgod.net. That'sind peacewithgod.net. The fastest way to get there always is the link in our show notes. >> GPS >> God >> people stories. >> Growing up in Illinois, Phil Tuttle had attended church some because his mom did. But church hadn't been important to his father and Phil adopted the same attitude his father had.

But one day at an afterchool Bible club, Phil was presented the gospel and it changed his life. I had gone to church for years, but in the church we were in at the time, we were not hearing the gospel. We were hearing a lot of social philosophy stuff, and I knew that I needed to have my sins forgiven. >> Phil would steal his mom's maple cream candies.

Maybe not a huge transgression, but still, he knew it was the wrong thing to do. You know, I hadn't sold drugs or robbed banks or killed anybody or any of that stuff, but I knew that I was a sinner. And no matter how hard I tried to be good, I couldn't be good enough.

And through the simple presentation of the gospel, that's when I asked Jesus to forgive my sins. The downside of this life change was Phil lacked disciplehip. Even though he had moved from death to life that day at the Bible club by giving his life to Jesus Christ, he didn't know what to do next.

He didn't know who to talk to next as a new Christian. Adding to that, around this time, Phil faced some devastating news that completely rocked his world. His parents struggling marriage looked like it was coming to an end. They argued a lot. And even more than arguing, maybe more destructive than that, dad would just withdraw.

And there were sometimes several days in a row when they didn't speak. At one point, dad was going to leave mom and he said, "I'll stay till Philip graduates from college cuz a boy ought to have his dad. But I don't love you anymore, Phyllis." Phil's dad remained true to his word and stayed a part of their family, but his parents' relationship didn't improve.

And so I grew up with a view of marriage of it's got to be better than this. And if I ever do marry, I'm not hanging around if it's kind of fake like this. And somewhere along the way, they got connected with this church and the pastor really invested in their lives.

God took that one little soft point in my dad's pretty hard heart as a point of entry. And when I went to college, he didn't leave. Phil chose to go to Wheaten College, a Christian school. It wasn't because of that. Maybe it was even in spite of that that he chose Weaton.

Rather, he went because of a financial incentive. I was this close to walking away from the faith because I would ask questions and there were just too many things that I couldn't get answers for. My parents said, "If you'll go to Weaten for one year, we'll pay half your tuition wherever you want to transfer to." >> So, Phil figured, "How bad can one year be at this college?" >> And um God ambushed me there and really got a hold of my life.

College was where I got serious and said, "Oh, it's not just getting your ticket punched for heaven. It's supposed to change how we live now." I got involved with a group called the Navigators and for the first time felt God speaking to me through his word. Phil had questions tugging at his heart about God and about Jesus and for the first time in his life.

Phil was encouraged to ask them. I was told be open with your questions. God can handle them. He's not threatened by them. And we try to create a safe space here. Ask your questions. But Phil, be as open as you are with your questions. Have integrity. Be equally open for his answers cuz he will answer you.

No school is right for everybody, but it was the perfect soil that I needed to be transplanted in. Phil began teaching a group of freshmen for the Navigators during his sophomore year. If you're not familiar with them, the Navigators are a ministry that helps people grow in their faith in Jesus Christ.

He enjoyed doing ministry, but he continued to study premed. His goal was to be a doctor. Somewhere along the way, I I joke and say organic chemistry was how God called me into ministry. I was actually getting still decent grades, but I just didn't find it motivating compared to this Bible stuff that I was getting involved in.

And by nature, I'm actually pretty introverted. And I'm like, God would never pick somebody like me to be a Bible teacher. In fact, Phil was so introverted that he would do just about anything to avoid public speaking, even in speech class. I literally in speech class recorded my talk on a cassette recorder and pushed play and gave a speech about how to give a speech without having to give a speech.

All the students applauded. They didn't know why I did it. I would have done anything rather than stand up in front of that class. And the teacher actually gave me an A minus. and now I'm feeling good. So I'm like, "What's the deal with the minus?" And she goes, "Your eye contact and your gestures were totally lacking."

And I'm like, "Okay, I'll take the A minus." In the months afterward, Phil's fear of public speaking continued into his junior year. He waffled back and forth between changing his major from premed to ministry. Then along the way, he met his future wife, Ellen. I met this gorgeous girl from Charlotte, brown hair, hazel eyes, like you had me from y'all kind of thing.

And she actually came to know Christ at a Billy Graham crusade in Madison Square Gardens in New York visiting her grandparents and had written away for the follow-up materials, read Billy's biography, found out he went to Wheaten College, and told her parents at age 12, "I'm going to Weaton College someday." that someday had led her to meet Phil >> on our first date.

I said, "Ellen, what do you what do you think you'll be when you grow up?" She said, "I've always known I'd marry somebody in some kind of Bible teaching ministry." And I'm like, "Whoa." That sealed the deal for Phil. He took Ellen's answer as a confirmation from God and switched his major from premed to Christian education and Bible.

He crammed in as many Bible classes as possible over the next two years to finish his schooling at Weaton. Phil and Ellen got married around Christmas time 1980. He started taking classes at Dallas Theological Seminary. But there was one hump Phil couldn't seem to get over in becoming a Bible teacher.

As he pursued a master of theology degree in Christian education, he still struggled with a fear of public speaking. In fact, he put off the idea of preaching until after his graduation. >> I didn't want to be a lead pastor coming out of seminary. I was only 26.

Um, I thought, you know, let me go be an associate someplace. Then I won't have to preach. That was all well and good for Phil until his resume caught the attention of a small church in Sisna Park, Illinois, near where he grew up. They had a search committee and they said it was really weird.

We had 90 resumes or something. They said something about the way yours was worded. It kept floating up toward the top and then we go the kid's 26. They had a rule in their church. You couldn't teach Sunday school, adult Sunday school till you were at least 30.

Clearly, Phil thought that man, he wasn't the right man for this church. He didn't want to be the lead pastor anyways. He wanted to stay behind the scenes and in his comfort zone, which meant far away from the spotlight of public speaking. But as Phil was helping a friend move up to pastor a church in Iowa, he got a call from that church in Cisna Park.

I said, "I'm coming up if you want to talk." And they go, "We already found our new pastor. He hasn't moved here yet, but we know he's the guy. He said a tentative yes." And then the guy on the phone goes, "Would you like to do a practice interview?"

Phil was in. He and Ellen got in the car and drove to Sisna Park. The road turns to, you know, single lane and then gravel. And Ellen's got the giggles because she's listening on the radio. They're talking about the price of soybeans and pork bellies are selling for this much.

And she just goes, "Phil, I can't do this." After growing up in the big city of Charlotte, Ellen wasn't sure she could handle a central Illinois town whose focus was agriculture and farming. I said, "Baby, they have a pastor. We're going to get on a plane, go back to Dallas, and find where God wants us to serve, and it's not going to be here.

So, relax." But remember, the church didn't actually have a pastor. We go to this house, and there's the members of the search committee there. This is four different couples. And um we walk in and we sit down and they go, "Okay, well should probably let you know that pastor who's been a traveling evangelist, he does want to get off the road, but his heart's evangelism, not pastoring."

And so he turned us down. And so Phil Ellen, this interview is live. This is for real. Ellen gave Phil a look across the room. She wanted him to know in no uncertain terms this was not what they had agreed to. All I can tell you is by the end of that 3 hours, we were like, "If the rest of the church is like these eight people, this could work."

And um they flew us up there again about a month later. Please never do this to a candidating pastor. There's no motel around there. It's a town of 850. No stop lightss 24 miles from the nearest McDonald's, right? And so there's no motel. Certainly, they put us in a different home every night for nine nights.

It it it was rough. But at the end of that time, they said, "We think you're the right person. You're the right couple." But first, the church had to officially vote in the tuttles. It was time to count the ballots. And I'm back with the elders. And one of the elders named Junior goes, "How old are you?"

And I said, "26." And he goes, "26? I got a tractor older than you. And I said, I mean, you had my resume. And and somebody goes, what are we gonna do about the 30 years old to teach Sunday school rule? And I go, yeah, that could be a problem.

And then I said, look, I said, I'm not looking to be a lead pastor or even a solo pastor. I said, this is either your doing or God's doing. The elders remain stuck on him being just 26 years old, but nevertheless, he was their guy. He became their new pastor.

I said, 'Here's the deal. I said, 'I'm going to make a lot of mistakes. I've never done this before. And then they go, "Well, then we better have a lot of grace." >> Over the next several years of ministry at the church, Phil would have to remind them of that very conversation. >> I would remind them that I was fulfilling my campaign promises and that they needed to do the same.

It was not always easy years. There were a lot of family rivalries in the church and we went through a two-year drought. The whole economy was based on agriculture there. There were problems sometimes with key people in the church. I mean, you you you name it. >> Phil and Ellen also began to face personal struggles while pastoring. >> When we moved there, we were in our first 5 years of infertility, and the church was in a baby boom.

This is not your sleepy little rural church with old people. There were 12 babies born in the congregation during the first few years the Tuttles were at the church. And the church had a tradition that the pastor's wife hosted all the baby showers. And month after month of disappointment became a year after year of frustration and no babies and I mean one year at Mother's Day they passed out carnations to all the moms and a little boy gave my wife one.

She went, "Oh, thank you." And his older sister snatched it out of her hand and yells at her brother goes, "She's not a mommy." Remember, Phil and Ellen had to celebrate the gifts God was giving other people, even when their own tanks felt totally empty. They didn't understand why God wasn't giving them a baby, too.

But Phil had decided to not talk publicly about their infertility struggle. Somebody told me, "A pastor should be a burden bearer, not a burden sharer. That's stupid." But I crossstitched it and hung it on the wall of my brain. So, I need to be strong, especially if I'm only like 28 years old.

People in the church, they would say dumb things, not knowing. Somebody said, "Drink out of that water fountain over there. The last three pastors drank there." And what do they have? Mildred, like eight kids between them. And, you know, not meaning anything. One week, Phil preached on Hannah, a woman in the Bible's book of 1 Samuel, who struggled with infertility.

Ellen told him that it was time for them to bring other people into their struggle. They needed people's prayers. I just lost it in the middle of the sermon and told them exactly what was going on. And they came around us. And we had an elder meeting that week and they said, "Why don't you pray that God will give you a child?"

I go, "Honestly, I can't pray about that anymore. That's not a good career move if you're a pastor to say you can't pray about something." And they didn't even flinch. One of the elders goes, "Then we'll have to transfuse you with our faith." >> The elders came around Phil and prayed, but it would be a while before they got any answers. >> A new believer in our church was a nurse practitioner who became pregnant, not married, and knocked on the door of our house about 11:30 one night and poured this whole thing out and goes, "I've just destroyed my professional credibility as a nurse." and my Christian witness.

We prayed with her. I ended up eventually doing her marriage with this guy that they shared a child together. And that night, she goes, "I know this is highly inappropriate, but she says, "I heard about your struggle, your sermon on Hannah. I was there. Here's a pamphlet from a doctor, and I've never met this doctor.

I know he's got a waiting list. He's over in Indianapolis." On the pamphlet, the doctor stated he was a Christ follower and he hoped that people wouldn't be offended if he asked to pray with them. He believed that he treated patients, but God did the healing. Due to a cancellation, Ellen was able to get an appointment with this Christian doctor.

It took three surgeries over 3 years battling indometriosis, but eventually their daughter Emily was born in January of 1988. And after another surgery, their son Philip entered the world in 1991. >> It was the most transforming thing for my faith. But all of a sudden, my counseling load about tripled because we had never meant to project that we had life all figured out, but we kind of were.

Phil remembers the most difficult question he and Ellen were asked in their church interview process. It was, "What's the hardest trial that you've been through in your marriage?" And we kind of looked at each other like, "We're newlyweds. Oh, we lived far away from home from both sets of parents.

Poor us. Boohoohoo. And now all of a sudden, people said, "You guys are real. You've hurt. And because you've trusted us with your struggles, we'll trust you with ours." And that was a noticeable change in our whole ministry. So man, it wasn't about what we did in other people's lives near as much as it was what God did in our lives during those years.

Phil is quick to share that God worked in his own heart through other struggles besides infertility and fear of speaking as a perfectionist. He was extremely hard on himself and his sermons. He felt isolated in his struggles. I hit bottom in that church. Every Sunday, Ellen and I sit down at dinner and I just take apart my sermon.

My perfectionism, it really is the thief of joy. Whenever Phil thought he preached poorly, he would take the cassette tape recording of his sermon before it could be duplicated or distributed. To him, his sermons just didn't feel good enough. So, he'd personally remove any record of them, and I'd walk out the back door of the church, and I'd throw it as far as I could.

Half the time it was soybeans, the next year it would be corn. And one of my professors from seminary, Bill Lawrence, we had him come up as a guest speaker. And unbeknownst to me, Ellen told him I was doing that. And he goes, "Ellen, that's really messed up."

The first night in the pulpit of Phil's church, Bill pulled out a box of cornflakes. He told the congregation that he and his wife were having breakfast last week, and he reached inside the cornflake box to pull out a prize. He goes, "I pulled out this cassette tape and he had mud all over this white cassette tape."

And he goes, "I looked. It's a message of one of my former students." I thought, "How'd that get in my cornflakes?" He goes, "Now that I've been here, I've heard I know how it happened now. Did you know your pastor is so hard on himself that if he's not pleased with his message, he assumes you're sure not pleased with it, neither is God."

And he throws it out in the cornfield. and he goes that miraculously ended up in our cornflakes box so I could come here and tell you you got to love on your pastor cuz he needs it. The congregation was shocked to hear that Phil felt that way about his messages.

Phil thought he had failed so much he should return to his premed studies. In fact, he was thinking maybe it wasn't too late to go back because clearly he didn't know a thing about ministry. Despite what Phil thought about his teaching, God was still at work in him and blessed the church.

The church grew and really grew from about a 100 to 200. That won't get you on the cover of Christianity today, but that was almost all new believers. It was beautiful what God did. And that church loved missions. And um I caught the bug for having an impact globally from our first church.

The church gave $100,000 to missions during Phil's final year with the church. Keep in mind, there was less than 200 members in that church. And it wasn't a couple of really loaded people. It was everybody. Our missions conference had better attendance than Christmas or Easter. And I got my passion for the whole world from our first church.

During this time, Phil had already been teaching live events for a ministry called Walk Through the Bible. He'd been doing it for 4 years. He joined the organization full-time in 1992 with the mission to take the gospel around the world. >> It was a no-brainer. Even the church was like, "We hate to lose you, but this is so right."

Over the past three decades at Walk Through the Bible, Phil has taken on numerous roles, including dean of faculty, senior VP for international ministries and global teaching pastor, teaching the Old and New Testament in churches, and even in a few prisons. Today, he serves as president and CEO of Walk Through the Bible, which aims to ignite a passion for God's word in people's lives through events, resources, and pastoral trainings.

A big part of my job is creating new materials each year that then are given to our 10 regional leaders around the world. And then in about three months they have those in 25 or 30 languages and then train hundreds, sometimes thousands of pastors to teach them in their local contexts.

Walk Through the Bible has hosted thousands of events taught in over 50 languages in 141 countries. They were able to teach God's word to 6 and a half million people in 2024 alone. You can have 11 Bibles on your shelf in your house in Atlanta or Charlotte or Dallas, but never open them.

We can count on our pastors to feed us when we ought to be more self-feeding. And that's part of the unique calling of Walk Through the Bible is because people are confused. They're afraid of the Bible, especially the Old Testament. So and so begat hard name beget what's his face beget I'm not even gonna try that one.

And you know, I mean, all this history and all these kings and we boil it down. We've got three-hour seminars on the Old Testament and the New Testament, and we take those into all different kinds of churches, Christian schools. We got to teach a million and a half kids in the last year.

More than half of whom the teaching occurred in public schools around the world. It's amazing. Whether through pastoring a church in a small town or sharing the love of Christ around the world, God has continually used Phil and encouraged him to walk through his fears, dislikes, and disappointments, even his desire for comfort, all in order to do great things.

Now he's leading an organization who's trying to lead people who are spiritually hungry. He's done that full-fold since co 19. >> Tell you what, people started asking questions that they haven't asked in my lifetime. So I tell people all the time, walk through the Bible as great as it was 50 years ago, 30 years ago, I think both of our organizations were birthed for now because there is a spiritual hunger and a desperation.

And the answer of it is not found in politics or entertainment or sports or even just regular education. It's found in the word of God. And he's called us to get people into the word and the word into people. So let's go do it. ((music playing)) That brings up a good point.

Are you spiritually hungry? If you sense that you're being called somewhere you don't want to go, if you've had to rally around people when your own cup is empty, or if you've come from disadvantaged circumstances that have instilled fear in you, we can help. Visit our website, find peacewithgod.net.

When you're there, click on begin a relationship with Jesus. That's atind peacewithgod.net. You can also find the link to that website in our show notes. Remember in our story how Phil's dad was not a Christ follower while he was growing up? Well, his father eventually came to faith in Christ during Phil's college years.

He even became a church elder and he stayed married to Phil's mom, caring for her through poor health until her death. Phil witnessed God change his father from the inside out. That's the power of God and his word. It's a pretty significant change in lifestyle. In just a minute, Phil will share what biblical studies point out as the single greatest predictor of a truly changed life.

Stick around. You'll want to hear it. >> You're listening to GPS, God, People, Stories, a podcast production of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. There are millions of people that are confused, frustrated, and perplexed today. Billy Graham. >> They do not know whether they're abound, but wherever it is, they fear to arrive there, that inward peace which man so desperately seeks.

Only the Bible has been able to meet the need and meet it fully. Its message is the message of forgiveness and cleansing from sin through faith in Christ. This is the world's only hope. It is peace of soul you are seeking. Is it confident living you yearn for?

Is it integration of personality you crave? Is it release from dread and fear that you wish? Is it relief from a troubled conscience you long for? Then turn to the Bible. Find there from its inspired pages the living Christ who once at Calvary took the sins of men upon himself.

He will pardon all your sins. He will restore your wasted life. He will give you the confident spirit you need. He will exchange your tears for smiles and your groanings for shouts of joy. This is the savior of men and the hope of an otherwise hopeless world. You will find it all there in God's great book, the Bible. >> Do you relate to any of those circumstances?

Lack of confidence, fear and dread, or a troubled conscience? Just as Billy Graham said, the answers are found in the Bible, and we can help you get started. Visit our website at findpacewithgod.net. When you're there, click the link that says begin a relationship with Jesus. That's at find peacewithgod.net.

Our guest on this episode of GPS is Phil Tuttle. As a lifelong pastor, he's seen how impactful reading and studying the Bible is. But if you want to get the most out of spending time in God's word, there's a secret Phil wants to share with us. It's been lots of research by Bara.

The Southern Baptist did this. Willow Creek did this. the single greatest predictor of a truly changed life. A marriage that stands the test of time, good relationships with kids, the number one predictor of success and growth in those areas is not just church attendance. It's not even engagement.

It's personal time in the word of God. And there's something I don't know why this is, but there's something about if you hit four times a week or more, there's like this quantum leap in all this research. And so that's our calling is to take away people's fear and confusion, give them access to the book, give them a path of what's the next step you can take.

We want a throughhike with people through their whole lives through the whole story of scripture. And uh I think that's probably why I love Walk Through the Bible so much. Our thanks goes to Phil Tuttle for joining us on this episode. Phil is today the president and CEO of Walk Through the Bible.

He's been married to Ellen now for 44 years and the proud father of two adult children. He's an average man that God used to do extraordinary things for the gospel. If you'd like to hear more encouraging stories of faith like Phils, then subscribe to GPS. That way you will not miss a single episode.

They arrive to you every two weeks on Wednesdays. I'm Jim Kirkland and this is GPS, God, People, Stories. It's an outreach of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. Always good news. ((music playing)) ((applause)) ((music playing))