Stay Hungry: Jenn Johnson's Message on the Goodness of God | Bethel Church

What's ((cheering)) up? Sit down, silly, ((cheering)) silly, silly. >> We're thankful and happy and blessed. How you doing? ((cheering)) >> Welcome to the new year. >> I'll drink to that as Bill says. Um, I uh I'm so excited to speak tonight and um my adorably cute husband is home putting my two little guys to bed tonight.

He was here this morning. So, um he uh was has been so encouraging tonight. But um I really feel like I have a a word for you tonight. So, I'm excited to speak. Um but let's pray. Father, we love you. You're so wonderful and we are so thankful for who you are and all that you're doing, what you've done, what you're doing, and what you are about to do even in this future, in this new year.

Lord, we look with expectation in our hearts for what you're going to do. And Father, I just pray every word tonight that you would just guide me by your spirit that your name would be known, your glory, and your renown would just be echoed. We love you so much in Jesus name.

Everybody said, >> he said, "Amen." Okay, sir. Amen. He's getting extra points in heaven. Um, we uh we just uh had a beautiful time of worship and that that new song, Fear of the Lord, is it's just still with me from that set. I just feel like that just you don't eat a meal and it's heavy in your stomach.

Um I I I feel that so so strong. And um I think if you really know the fear of the Lord um it's out of joy that we have fear. Um I know when I married my husband and and still to this day we've been married 25 years which is crazy.

Um and uh when you really have the fear of someone you love, it affects everything because you would never want to do anything to distance yourself from the person you love. And so the fear of the Lord is such a gift and such a theme I feel like for for this new year um for all of us.

I don't think that was a coincidence or random that Dave sang that new song today. So um yes Lord. Amen. >> Amen. Amen. >> Okay. I was praying about what to speak on tonight in my devotions. I don't know about you, but if you need a Bible for this season of your life, uh, Pastor Dan and a few people have created a Bible, like what?

Who? Like only Dan, right? Um, and it's called Kingdom Life, and I am devouring it. Uh, I highly recommend, well, this book in general, big fan. Uh, but this specific version, uh, of the Bible, Dan's Kingdom Life, is just so stinking good. Um, and as I [clears throat] was reading it, I was sitting in my devotion just go, "Lord, what do you want me to speak on on Sunday?"

And uh, I read this part of Dan's uh, writing in the Bible, and I'm reading Judges right now, the Old Testament. Um, I'm I'm in it, and I I just want to devour it and learn things and see things that I haven't before. were um we were in Israel a few years ago and uh for the first time in my life I've I honestly never really wanted to go to Israel but we went because I felt like I was supposed to go with Bethl music and Bill and we had this incredible trip um and God just revelationally just spoke to me.

I mean it's it's not hard to have faith in Israel when you're walking where Jesus walked. I remember being in the garden of Gethsemane and just like he was here like he was probably never walking on earth in Reading, California. Who knows? I don't understand all things. But he walked there and I remember sitting in the garden of Geth, you were here and just an incredible time.

Um, and so, uh, but part of that, one of the one of the things that was I was shook over and again, I just am so hungry to not only know the word of God, but to to dig deeper into the layers revelationally of it as he speaks to you as you learn different things.

And uh, one of the tour guides in Israel, her name was Tisha, and she she shared this this part of uh, when they were fishing and they brought in the catch of fish, it was like 133. Does anyone know the exact one? What? >> 153. 153 fish is what they caught.

And Tisha, who is uh you can't even put in words what she is, but she's a mastermind of biblical uh studies. And she said, you know, you know what's interesting and not proven, but I really think so, is that's actually how many species of fish there were. So Jesus probably flexed on him and caught one of each.

That's who he is. Yes. So stuff like that where you're like layers, layers, layers. So I'm in it and I'm studying. And uh so this is the part in the Bible that Dan was writing about before Judges starts and it says this. It this is one of the great lessons of Judges is the value of testimony.

Remembering the stories of God. The generation after all Israel's entry into the promised land did not know all the wonderful works the Lord had done. Darkness encroaches when we disregard God's holiness and stop testifying of his presence and work among us. Communicating our stories is a matter not of entertainment but of cultural survival.

We must teach the generations after us who God is and what we have seen him do. And I was so shook by that and moved. You know, often times um you know, it says that they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony.

And you know, often times you don't necessarily want to tell all the areas that you've seen God do great things in your life. Sometimes it kind of feels like you're bragging and and so but I've in reading this, I just had such a conviction. And I felt the Lord spoke to me and said, "Tell, walk through your life and tell some of the biggest things that changed your life that I did in and through you."

And so, I'm going to tell a few of those things tonight um with that. But, uh it's important that we tell our history in God. I grew up in the church. My mom's here. Mom, stand away, everybody. She loves this. She hates it. This is my mama. She's amazing.

And I would not be here without her and my praying granny. So, praise God for praying granny's. And um I I grew up in a a Christian church and a youth group and Christian school. And um I I even had a very infamous youth pastor, the one, the only Mark Brooks.

Will you stand, sir? Come on, stand up. ((applause)) ((cheering)) Marky Mark, I was raised really with with some good legends. Steve Bland was my grade school principal and um so we've got some good history and some good years. So who you surround your children with are very important in their early years.

I can't recommend Christian school in those formidable years. You'd have to have a real strong word from God um to do elsewhere in your in your children's walk than Christian school. It's the best investment I think you could make um in parenting. So that's free. But uh all my kids have gone here to BCS uh for 23 years.

I think my kids have been I have five kids. So if you don't know I'm tired. Um extra concealer under the bags under my eyes. But um I've I've joyfully walked with the Lord my whole life and I have watched God speak and do profound things every single year of my life that make me just absolutely in awe of him every year. like it does not get old.

It only gets better when you walk with Jesus. And um I lived my life dedicated to the Lord and in church and in youth group and in summer Christian camp. I remember one year I went to five different summer Christian camps cuz I just couldn't get enough. It was like family camp and kids camp and junior high camp and my parents went to senior camp and I was like, "Can I come?"

They were like, "Sure." So I just was a junkie. Um not for not for the social only. I love humans, but for the presence of God and what God was doing. And I'm so thankful for my parents because they raised me with that hunger for him and what he was doing around the world.

I remember hearing a cassette tape of Bill Johnson, this guy who lived in Weaverville, which I grew up on the coast of California, not too far away. And um I remember hearing Hill Song music for the first time, shout to the Lord. And I remember, you know, the different moves of God and the Toronto move and uh on and on vineyard and just the different all over whatever God was doing.

We were first in line at the Christian bookstore, which you youngans don't know anything about, but we used to have to go and leave our house and go to a building where we bought music and messages and before the great internet. And so we were just so hungry and I'm so thankful that my parents modeled that.

Um they even went personally to Toronto just to be touched by God. Um when I think I was in high school or junior high randomly they went with Bill and Benny which is amazing. Um long before foreshadowing of the future um this uh but I'm just so thankful that that hunger um was placed in me and I carry that makes me cry.

I carry that to this day and I'm so grateful that I've gotten to go around the world and watch the move of God in different denominations around the world to see the expression of who he is in another tribe is stunning. >> Stunning. And you know, we love that the body of Christ is different parts of the body that I I tell everyone around the world, Bethl's probably the armpit.

Like we love it. We need it. We're but that's probably the body of Christ that we are is the armpit, you know, and you definitely hopefully Jesus is the head and then there's a lot of other parts. We won't mention the other ones who they are. Don't think about it.

Um, but I'm just so thankful for what God's doing around the world and that we get to be not only part of it, but we get to absorb from it and glean from it. Um, something that I I do every year is something that is really annoying and not convenient to go out of my way to find God in an area or or room that I um have to I'm not leading worship there.

I'm not that that I'm just in the room because I just want to never lose being in the room for what he's doing. I never want to lose that hunger no matter what I've seen. And it's crazy that he could do more and be better. But my God, every year he is.

And it just doesn't get old. When you live your life by what this says, you will not be sorry. It is the absolute flipping best life you can have. So I'm always hungry. And that's I was like, should I title this message always hungry or I also thought calling it stay lit.

So one of the two. But stones of remembrance. I don't know there's a lot of titles, but we'll they can pray about what they call it. Um, a few themes. And if you're a notetaker, uh, tonight I want you to open your notes on your phone or if you have pen and paper.

Um, I just have a few phrases that I feel have been keys to my life. Um, and I feel like that they'll they'll really help you on your walk with God. Uh, when I was seven years old, one of my biggest prayers was, "God, I want to know you for myself."

If you're if you're writing things down in quotes, write, "I want to know you." When you pray the prayer, I want to know you. He responds in his word. And by his spirit, he will meet you there. And I want to know you became this thing in my life as a little kid.

And uh I I remember being in chapel and uh just just being so passionate for God and everyone was worshiping and I I wanted to raise my hands in worship but I was scared. No one else was really raising their hands and just afraid that people would look at me and think I was stupid.

And uh after a while I just I I sat there and closed my eyes about seven years old in chapel and I just I said I care more about doing what I'm supposed to do to obey you and what's right than I care about what they think. And I crossed a line.

I crossed a line that day in the spirit to step over the line of the fear of man. And that invitation is for every single one of you in this room right now. No matter what it is, we all we we are going to battle that probably weekly, if not monthly or yearly.

We're going to battle the fear of men in different aspects of of our life. But I believe that the Lord has in his heart for you a place where you step over the fear of man, where you'll do anything. It can look any anything. You'll go anywhere to please him and to have that that fear of the Lord.

And I remember just raising my hands. I just shot my little hands up at seven years old and that chapel in that little small church. And I was convinced everyone was looking at me. And I don't feel like I had this profound spiritual encounter uh that I thought.

Um it's never how we think. It's always another layer and level. But um in that moment, something changed in my life that has is now with me to this day in that lack of of fear of man. And more importantly, I will honor you and I will do whatever you say or whatever you want over people pleasing for the rest of my life.

And it marked me to have that hunger to know God. At seven years old, um I was out playing basketball and just God, speak to me. What do you what are you saying? And I want to know your voice. Speak to me. And I was playing basketball and I kind of put this fleece before God.

It Bible says to not test the Lord. So not a big fan of that. But then there's also the story of the fleece. So pray about it. Um, and so I was I was out there playing basketball and and I was just like, "God, if you're real, make that street light blink three times, you know, and I'm out there playing and that street light blinked three times."

And I remember dropping the ball and you can ask my mom, I remember running in the house and she was doing dishes. I'll never forget it. And I just remember telling her like, "This this is what just happened." And I remember just in her kind way of like, "Yeah, God is real."

And yeah, she's just very assuring and like didn't discount that I, you know, probably didn't see it or but it was a marking moment again where God showed up to me in a way. Um, and I really believe it was because I was asking him uh to show himself to me.

Speak to me. I want to know you. Speak to me. Uh, age about uh 14 and 15. Um, I started to have a lot of encounters with God at summer camp and also in our little school chapel. I remember one um I think it was Wednesday we had chapel and the Holy Spirit was just moving around the altar and um and as a teenager in junior high in high school, especially someone who loves people like I do, there is a very strong tendency to want to leave and the meeting to be over so that you can hang out and eat the food.

Still a big fan of that. Um if you know me, I'm a foodie. But I remember this lingering and this invitation to linger and the meeting ended. But there were a few of us that were just on our face before the Lord in this little chapel when I was around 10 or 12.

Same thing at summer camps. I remember uh just being filled with the Holy Spirit. They had uh right up here at Mount Lassen camp, they had a prayer room behind the stage that you could come and go to and be quiet with the Lord and have time with him and they would pray over you.

And I remember just being being filled with the Holy Spirit as a little kid. um were again that stepping over that that fear line to just speak in tongues and and the Lord really moved in my life um during that time. But I I went to this camp when I was about 15 and with my cousins and um when we got there, they said, "You know what?

What we're going to do is this this cool thing called where do you go? Uh where to go and how do I bless?" And so I was like, "All right." that time I hadn't really seen pictures from God or I hadn't really felt like I had heard God but um he'd done a lot in my life at that point but again just that hunger of like I want to know you speak to me and so they loaded us all up in these uh vans.

Got to love a youth group van. There's a special smell of a youth group van. It'll it'll carry an anointing on your life for the rest of your life [laughter] if you haven't been in a youth group van. It's it's experiential. Um, and so we're in the van and we're driving and I just again closed my eyes and I just said again if you're writing notes, "God, speak to me.

Speak to me. I'm listening." And I I'm just driving and I put my head down said, "God, speak to me." And instantly I saw a picture of a Walgreens. And in the Walgreens, there was a woman buying shoes for her little boy. And I knew I was supposed to buy the shoes.

And it was that fast, the picture. And I opened my eyes and I was like, "Cool. I did it. I did my homework. Well, we we pull in after the drive. Uh we're all praying, you know, as we're driving, but we pull in to a Walgreens. So, I was like, "Yes, check.

Got one." And uh we all break up into twos and we go out on this city and we pray, "Where do we go and how do we bless?" And so I just told my cousin and and our friends, I said, "Well, I got this picture and it was out of Walgreens, so we're here and might as well try it."

We walk in the door, go to the back where the shoe section was, and as I turned the corner to the shoe aisle, it was like you had taken a picture out of my the vision the Lord had shown me and put it into real life. And I just stood there dumbfounded that it was real.

And I told my like, "This is exactly what I saw." I was shook. It's exactly what I saw. And so I said, "We just need to buy shoes." And so we we just said to the lady, you know, we're we're out praying about who we could bless. and I saw a picture of you and do you need me to buy shoes for your son?

She bursts into tears. [clears throat] She said, "I don't even know why I'm here. He needs shoes and I have no money." And I was like, "Well, Jesus wants you to know that he's providing for you. Do you know the Lord?" She's like, "No." I said, "Do you want to come to know the Lord?

He's really after your heart." She's like, "Yes, I do." And so, we buy her the shoes and we, you know, are just like losing our minds. We're so excited. We're so fired up. And so all over the city, all these kids are going out in like groups of two and three to kind of do what they had heard.

And so we keep going on that day. And uh the next thing that I got on that trip was um and it really encouraged my faith. You know, when you when something works that you're you know, you're obeying God in and it works, you're like, "Yes, [laughter] praise God."

Um there's probably a lot that he tells you to do and has no meaning, but I'll get to that story. Well, you don't think it does. And uh so the next thing I heard was um I got this guy's name and so and I got a I saw a tattoo of a big orange tiger on a guy's arm.

And so you know we we didn't have cars and we're just walking. And so there was a phone booth because back in the day that's what there were was phone booths. And so there was a phone book in a phone booth. You can look it up if you're under 25.

And I walked up to and I was like, "Okay, I'm just going to look through tattoos." I found a tattoo shop. One was highlighted. I called it said, "Hey." I said, "Um, is there somebody that named this there?" He's like, "Yeah, what about it?" And I was like, "Well, do you happen to have a tattoo of an orange tiger on your left shoulder?"

And he's like, "YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT?" And I was like, "God wants you to know he's a plan for your life." You know, I'm just like prophesying over him. And I didn't even really know what that was at that time. I just was evangelizing uh to the best of it.

And so, uh, it really, it sparked something in me in hunger to know God on a deeper level. And, um, after that, I came home and I was working at McDonald's because I wasn't saved yet. Um, cuz if you eat McDonald's, you need Jesus. So, that's for Benny.

We value our health. Amen. We want to run the good race. Amen. My water is in the glass bottle cuz I'm not I'm trying to not drink out of plastic right now. We're all on a journey. Amen. Oh boy. I I love you. I can't do stinky things, so I love you.

But that's going to have to I have a I'm not saying they stink. I'm just saying I have a high sense of smell, my guy. So, I love you for that, though. May the Lord honor it. Back to McDonald's. So, I'm working at McDonald's and uh my parents taught me to uh be on time.

More importantly, be early. Um, Bill Johnson says, uh, on time is late. Early is on time. So, I I try for that. I like to be like one minute early, but um, still early, you know? So, I'm I'm early to work. I I drive to McDonald's. I'm I'm early to work, but on my drive from where I lived on the hill down to the McDonald's, uh there was a piece of trash on the side of the road and I was just praying like so spiritual like, "Lord, speak to me.

Whatever your will is, I'll do it." You know, and I I just in my spirit heard, "Pull over and pick up that trash and throw it away when you get to work." Like that. You ever had a thought that you knew was God, but made no sense to the practicality or the way of the kingdom?

You're like, "This is dumb. Who's getting saved by this?" No one. No one. So, I drove to work, drove right past it, and was like, "Whatever." Pulled in the parking lot early, had about 15 minutes, and I sat there annoyed. Has God ever spoken to you and you knew it was him and you didn't do it?

Oh, I got another story for you. So, I'm just sitting there just eaten up by it. I'm like, "Dang it, I know. I've got to go pick up that stupid trash, but why?" And I wrestle. And I came to this one line. What do I have to lose?

Okay. >> So, if you're writing tonight, write in your when God speaks to you, what do you have to lose? Your pride. And so, for me, I drove back up, got the piece of trash, drove back to the McDonald's, threw it in the trash. And I'd love to tell you that angels flew out of the garbage can, and like 15 people got slain in the spirit.

But I don't think anything happened except for one very important thing. My will was broken. My will was broken to understand >> and I said, "Lord, I submit to you understanding." I love to figure everything out. I'm a big figure out strategy girly. And I had to bow that that thing in me had to be crushed and pressed of will you obey me and follow me when you don't understand what it looks like?

And it was a gift to me to have that encounter with God. And you know, people people often see the highlight reel of your life or they know you for something, you know, great, but they don't know the history of what got you there and what keeps you there.

And and for me, it's just that continual God, give me wisdom. I had I had a another one that I was so annoyed. I we were at in Hawaii on vacation this one time with our three kids and um uh we pull up to the resort in Hawaii.

Thank you Jesus for Hawaii. >> Hallelujah. And um we pull up to the resort and as we're sitting out in front of it uh um Kanye West, a very famous rapper uh was sitting right at the entry of the resort. And as we pull up, the Lord speaks to me and says, 'The three things he wants to know what his mom's opinion was after she passed are all yes.

Just like that, I just heard it. And I was like, "Oh, wow." Okay. And so we have, you know, our three kids. We're getting out of the car with all of our stuff with, if you have three little kids, it's a lot of stuff. So like getting out of the car and I'm like, "No, this isn't the time."

He was on the phone or pretending to be on the phone. And so we went into the resort and got settled and I was like, "God, I I didn't do it, but give me another chance." So the next day or so, we're out at the ocean and we're on the beach chairs and um his whole Kanye and his whole crew come down to the beach chairs and sit like four or five feet away from us and I'm like, "Okay."

So I chickenen out again. But I wrote it down. I wrote it down and I was like, I'm just going to give it to him because I don't want to be like that Christian weirdo, you know? So, I wrote it down and um he gets up and leaves and I'm like, I missed it and I'm just so mad.

So, I walked over and I saw his at the time girlfriend and I said, "Hey," I said, "I I'm practicing hearing God and I'm not crazy, but I just have a word for Kanye if you wouldn't mind giving this to him." So, who knows if she ever did, but I'm so mad that I just chickenened out, jazz, but grace.

There's always grace. So Kanye, if you're listening, love you. And that's still a true word. I uh back to the life story. I um I in high school I I didn't have I had like a few like crushes when I was in high school or like little weak, you know, long boyfriends when I was a younger teen.

Um, but I had a holy conviction with dating and I just was like, "God, I I want to date the right person and you're trying to figure it out and it's a lot." And uh, I I started dating this guy who believed in God, but we like to call him Kish, you know, not like the Christian, just like the first part of it maybe, or in his heart.

I don't, but just don't be that, okay? Don't be that. And, uh, so I'm dating this guy. I'm I'm 15 or 16. Um, and uh I'm I'm in this uh Christian boarding school. Actually, my parents are amazing. They love me. I love them. They met at a Christian boarding school in Oregon.

And so when it was time for high school for me, we prayed about it. And this just felt like summer camp all year. Don't need to pray about that. Um, and I loved it. So I I went there for two years. Uh, and then I came back and did two years in one of high school and came to school of ministry as my senior year.

So, praise God. Uh during that time, I'm dating this guy for about a year and I everything in my life is pro God and I have this like bad situation in my back pocket and I know I'm not supposed to be dating this guy, but I'm just pray a missionary like please God just make him save so that I can marry him.

And I was just in love with him. it. So I thought and um I remember I woke up one morning in my dorm room and the Lord spoke to me almost audibly and he said, "You can marry him if you want, but just so you know, your entire marriage will be you pulling him closer to me and never the reverse.

But if that's what you want, you can marry him." Sobering. And I I I didn't instantly fall out of love with him. What the highest form of love I knew at the time wasn't nothing like I got now. >> If I'd only have known the Johnson man waiting for me.

Hallelujah. And um so I I I actually went downstairs that day and broke up with him and I just said, "You know what? I've I've got to give God my whole life and I've got to only be with someone who has given God their whole life." And um so I let's we we were still friends after that but no longer together and I didn't date anybody else until I met my husband.

Um speaking of uh Bill used to come over to our summer camps and he would speak and lead worship. This turkey, this turkey right here, we like to call him Bill the pill, but he leads worship like nobody's business. And so he would come over to my church and teach on worship and lead worship and then also to summer camps.

And then we got to know each other's family and just fell in love with them. And I was friends with Brian's younger sister, Leah. We call ourselves the trio. Um up here you'll see us often. We've been doing this together for 28 years. 28. A long time. Um and so I became friends with Leah.

And then when I was 17, actually rewind KV story. So I was probably I don't know 12 or 13 maybe Chris would know. I was in my little church and Chris would also come speak at my church. And so um I was sitting in the very back row of church and I was kind of in a funky mood and I remember my arms were crossed.

I was just probably being a butt. Chris is speaking and then he starts to pull people out of the audience to give them personal prophetic words and I'm in my little mood and I'm just back there in my head like deciding what he's going to say before he says it.

I'm playing a little game in my mind of like and now he's going to say this to them but it's all in my head. So Chris calls if you fill out and he's like, "And you." When he calls me up and he's like, "You knew what I was going to tell all these people before I told him, didn't you?"

And I was like, he's like, "Yeah, you need to come to school school ministry. That's part of your gift. We just need to train you." And I was just like, "Oh my gosh." But it sparked something in me of hunger of like, "Whoa, that's crazy." And so again, I I did the two years in one and came to school of ministry when I was 17.

And um as I'm here over the summer, uh I'm just passionate for God. I'm just so passionate for God. I'm like, I don't want to think about anything or anyone. Just you, Lord. Just you, Lord. Youth groups happening. Church is happening. But there is this very goodlooking worship leader named Brian Johnson.

And so I'm like trying to think about God, but I'm thinking about him. So, one day I just go to the prayer house and I'm just like, "I've had it." I tell the Lord, I'm like, "Listen, I'm either marrying this boy or take these feelings away because I can't deal with this."

I'm like, "Say yes or no." You know, God's like, "Oh, this girl." So, I hear nothing at the time, you know, I don't hear anything. But I walk out of the prayer house, the prayer chapel, over to the main campus, and Brian walks out the door of the main campus, and I'm like, "Yes, Lord.

So he comes out and he's like, "Hey." He's like, "Can I talk to you in my office for a minute?" And in my heart I was like, "You can talk to me for the rest of your life. Available." Like not too much, but like enough to know that.

And you have to know Brian is not talking to you unless it's Jesus or he's really close to you. He's just not like he's just like a bear or like a lion. like they're not, you know, socializing with a lot of people, but they're the most wonderful person, but he does really good in like groups of like two or three or like 20.

Um, and so at this point, we had never really talked before. We'd hung out in the same groups over the summer, gone to Denny's afterwards, but haven't really talked at all. Just vibes, you know. And at the time, and I'm sure this doesn't happen now, but at the time, there was like a row of single girls at the front when he would lead worship.

And I was like, well, I ain't going to be that. So, that was my spot way back there in the corner. I was like, I'm going to worship back here, so it's just not super obvious. But that day was different. He pulled me in his office and he just pours his heart out like he does.

He just says whatever he feels. And he was just like, I just think you're amazing. I think you could be the one. like he just pours his heart out to me and I'm like oh my god. [laughter] And so he's like I know hard launch. So it's in the Johnson blood.

So I I just said what do you you know he's like what do you think? He's like I just you know poor guy poured his what do you think? And I was like well I was just in the prayer house and I told the Lord that I was going to marry you or to take these feelings away.

So I think but I just I told him I said but actually I need to pray. I said I need to hear the Lord say yes. It feels right. It's my dream but I need to hear him say yes. And um and so I went home that night.

My parents can remember. And at that time my dad had just I think it was around the time he'd gone to Toronto. He was so drunk in the Holy Spirit that he couldn't talk to you without laughing. Like no matter what you would say he just he would like fall over laughing.

And here we are, the new kids in Reading and new kids at Bethl. We're new, you know, and then all of a sudden like I'm trying to marry the heir to the throne, you know, you're like, "Oh god." And so I remember I just walked in and I tell my parents, you know, what had happened and my mom's like, "Oh my gosh."

You know, she can't believe it. And my dad just falls off the bed laughing, you know. So it was perfect. But um I just told him I said I'm gonna go I'm gonna go in my room and just I need to hear the Lord say yes because you know feels right, sounds great, smells great, but again senses sense to smell.

But um I and he always smells so good. Thank Thank you Lord. Hygiene big fan. Um that's [clears throat] a word for some school ministry students but um or maybe any of you you know pray about it. Use healthy deodorant. That's fine. Shower, but like we got to smell good in God's presence or I'm going to move you away.

[laughter] Um, so I go in my room. I'm worshiping. I'm praying. And um, about two hours later, just worshiping, praying about two hours later, all of a sudden I'm I'm just laying in bed my bed on my back and I just hear the Lord say, "Yeah, ya." in big red letters.

And it like rested on me. I can't I don't have words for it. And I I saw the timeline of my life like a rainbow of faithfulness that where God had walked me from and where he was taking me to of the promises that he had for me.

And I just laid there and cried and cried. There was probably vineyard worship music on. It was probably eternity. Remember that song? Oh, I'll get you. And um I just sat there in looking into the future of the goodness of God uh that he was about to take me in.

And so I I went back the next day and he was very eager to hear what I had heard and I was like God said yeah. And um so that was our first day of dating and we were officially together. Now if you're a parent in this room I'm sorry for this story that I'm going to tell you right now.

[clears throat] Uh, I was 17 at the time and so that was day one of dating and Brian and I, if you know anything about us, we are very passionate and we get her done with things in life. And so, uh, we had both heard the Lord and I think it was like day two or three of dating, he called Bill and obviously we knew and they were very happy that we were dating, but I think it was like day two or three he said, "Dad, I I need you to pray and I need you to ask the Lord to speak to you about this if this is right for me to marry her."

And um Bill Bill said is the word of the Lord. She's the one. Marry her. I have it in my journal. Um and so got Bill's blessing. Shrek. And um and so that was like day three. So we're dating. We're just like, you know, loving life. And um day 10 we get up to lead worship.

Uh I joined the worship team rather quickly. Uh fast track. Fast track. wouldn't happen in this day and age with what we've got going on with all of our protocols. But um she was in and uh and so I'm I'm playing keyboard right over here. I have like blue plaid pants on cuz your girl did not know uh what was coming.

And Brian's standing right here and he's he's leading worship and he starts worship and he's just like just start to stir yourselves up for the Lord. And you know everyone's just like yes God come. You know that was crazy. And uh then he goes one more thing before we go into worship.

Jen, will you marry me? And the room goes bananas. There's a video out there somewhere. [clears throat] We need to find it. And I go from this like both hands up to Oh my god. [laughter] Yes. Come over. Bring on the finger. Kiss. And we go right into worship. And we've been there ever since.

[laughter] Worked out. >> ((applause)) >> worked out. We uh were engaged all through school ministry and um I wrote my wedding invitations while someone was preaching in first year and uh we got married on spring break uh of first year and then came back and finished graduated school ministry. He was in second year.

I was in first year. And uh we we get married and uh in our wedding ceremony uh Bill's brother Bob. Bob, say hello to the people. Wave everybody. This is Bill's brother Bob. Uncle Bob. We get married right here and uh to a Kevin Pros song. I walk down this aisle and uh we have people come and pray and prophesy over us during our wedding.

And I don't remember I I gotta look back and find I'm sure it's recorded but I don't remember many of the other words but but one stood out and it was Uncle Bob's and he said something to this effect. You have one year to really enjoy being married because in one year your ministries two of them are going to explode and that's going to be family and worship music.

And so um we obviously wrote that down and nothing was happening at the time necessarily with us. Brian had written some songs. cuz I had written some songs uh during our engagement. We wrote Chris Valson's favorite song, O Taste and See, [laughter] which the joke is it's not his favorite song because we played it so much in church that we all hated it.

So, we we played it out, but they're bringing it back, these these youngans. Uh so but in that time we didn't really have anything ministry-wise or you know happening and a lot God would obviously do in us but um that that really was a prophetic word and he saw stadiums and he saw coliseums and and just uh these massive events where people were singing our songs [gasps] and so we get married and we are so happy and right after we got married shortly after that they transitioned.

It was just a total God thing. It was a wild wild uh moment. But they transitioned worship and gave it to us. Um Brian and me to to be the worship leaders because at that time we were just leading in youth and and on the worship team. And so uh in the ceremony and Don Potter was here uh they give us the leadership of worship and uh we've been doing that for 20 almost six years now which is crazy.

Um and it's been the joy of my life. It it really has. I I'm I'm thankful for all that's happened in our life. But it really is there's nothing there's nowhere like home and there's nowhere like being planted in the house of God and having community. The Bible is very clear that those who are planted in the house of the Lord flourish.

We've looked over our friends lives, especially people who are in the music world like we are, and there is a standout head and shoulders above the rest. I think it's an anointing on the people who have stayed planted in local churches and we are we are that we we uh the fruit of our life uh is wildly due to the fact that we have been planted in local churches from our birth.

Um I can't prove it on paper but I can. And um so you know, we're we take over the the worship world and and we're kind of like transitioning in into kind of the vision that God's given us and writing songs. And um about it probably was like eight or nine months later, you ready for a wild one? >> You're not.

I have never told this publicly in my whole life. I will I will um I I'm streaming. Yes, I know. I sure know that after all these years. Um we were preventing having children at the time with birth control. And um that's just where you know what we were doing and where we had peace.

And one morning I woke up about nine months married and I I I just knew that there was I had to get off birth control. And um so I told Brian, I'm like, you know, I feel like we're not supposed to be on birth control. And we joked that night on a Saturday night on how we would get confirmation about that.

Don't ask that question if you go to Bethl church. So we're like, well, we didn't, you know, here try to have children, so we'll prevent another way. Show up to church on Sunday morning at Bethl. And Cletty Keith was the speaker. If you've never heard Clety, he's wild and so fun.

And uh Clotty was speaking and he was like,"I just feel like the Lord wants to do a Holy Ghost swap meet in this place." So if you have something to give away, I want you to make a line right here and if you need the item that's mentioned, raise your hand.

But do you remember this day? It was crazy. It was wonderful. We just all sat there with tears in our eyes and like people would like walk up like I have a washer and like I need a washer. Like I need this. Like it was a Holy Ghost swap meet.

And so people are just all over the room running around giving each other things. It was so beautiful. I've never seen anything like it since that day. And um people are dump dumping like jewelry and things in our laps and it was just wild. And um an elder of the church, an elder of Bethl Church who we will not mention his wonderful name.

He is amazing and obviously changed our life. He said to us, I he kind of came up intrepid and he said, I have a private word for you if I could just come over here and give it to you. And you know it's me and Brian. We're like down for anything.

So he walks up to us with something that you would use to prevent having a child and a switchblade knife. Now I don't know if the Lord spoke to him before or if he was just he came cuz he had a lot of kids. So you got to be ready.

I don't I don't know. But here we are. >> This is the story of my life, Chris. This is my children's story. My child's d probably dying. So he in silence he goes I'm just going to show you. I don't know what this means. I'm just going to show you what what I'm supposed to do.

And we're like amazing. He pulls the two items out and pops one on the knife and hands us the knife. And we start dying laughing. WE'RE LIKE OH MY GOSH. WE'RE LIKE well I guess that's confirmation that we won't be preventing. I am 18 years old. So, we were like, "Okay, we want So, a couple months later, we are on our remember the wedding prophecy.

We are on our one-year anniversary." At that time, we had started writing songs. Uh, and we were starting to work on doing our very first album. If you have seen it, it is beautiful. It's called Undone. The cover of the album is a skirt that we magnified on a copy machine.

And that's the cover of the album. Very creative. Um, so we were working on this album and we are away on our one-y year anniversary and I get sick and so we're like, "Oh, bummer. I'm sick on our anniversary." Goes away. Next morning, I'm sick again. Man, wait a minute.

So, we run to the store, do a test, and I am pregnant. And we were over the moon, just so excited um to have a baby. And uh so I'm obviously pregnant for about nine months. And that's what happens if we're just continuing. I I have like a valatin anointing that I'm like sex talking tonight.

But um here we are. We're celebrating it. Chris, when it's done right, it's really beautiful. Amen. Here to testify. And it only gets better. Hallelujah. But nine months later, I am uh great with child and uh I am in labor and my labor starts and my mom is in the medical world and so she's like, "Let's just walk."

And you know, just instead of laying in the hospital bed, let's just, you know, just walk. And so we're walking and all of a sudden I don't feel good. I feel like I have the flu. And uh I just was like, "Mom, I want to I want to go in and just get checked.

Like I don't I don't feel great right now." And um I'd never had a baby. I didn't know if flu symptoms were part of it or not. So, we go in and they hooked me up to all the monitors and uh within about we didn't have our parents there.

We didn't Bill and Benny, we're just going to go see what was going on. And uh within a few minutes, it was very quickly the room filled with nurses and doctors and they're freaking out and they're quiet and I'm don't know what's going on and Brian's, you know, white as a ghost and uh we are scared and uh the nurse comes in and says, "Your baby's in distress.

Her heartbeat's going a million miles an hour to nothing at all and we need to rush you to C-section to get her out." And I didn't read that chapter in supernatural child birth. So, I was like, "This was not the plan." Uh, and so I I laid my head back on the hospital bed and it's just Brian and I and they're whirling around and, you know, putting all the things in all the places.

And I laid my head back and I just said, "Jesus, help." And I opened my eyes and an angel stood in the left corner of the hospital room and he had his arms like this and he had a bald head and a gold earring. He looked like Mr.

Clean. And I was like, "Very fitting for a hospital." And he stood in the corner of the room and he and it's just a straight just a straight face like this. And he looked over to me and he nodded and he went back and liquid peace went through my body.

And I was like, I am going to be just fine. This is going to be just fine. Brian did not see him not doing so hot. That was tough. So, they wheel me in to do a C-section. And again, I'm I'm You have to hug the doctor as they put a needle about that long in your back.

It's really fun. And uh I'm I get scared again. I I feel fearful again. And and again, I I'm looking through and I can see the angel standing just there in the operating room. I'm like, "All right, I'm going to be fine." Um to which I was here to this day, so uh proving that.

But uh the baby comes out, our oldest daughter comes out and she they give a baby a a a score called an Apgar score. uh when they're born, kind of like their color and all the different things of how they're doing. And hers was deathly low. And so they whisked her off.

They're like, "She's not doing well. We've got to rush her." And um she uh had all the symptoms of strep infection and they tested me that I had had it in the womb and we didn't know it. And so she was not doing good and barely made it.

And so Bill and Benny and all of our family flooded the hospital and we're just praying for her and she um had to be in that intensive care for 10 days, but she just continued. She was a little fighter. Um and she's perfect to this day. So we're thankful for that.

But here's where it gets a little crazier. A few years later, Leah is probably Haley's 24 and how's how old's Cruz? 18, 17, 16, 16. Anyway, years later, years later, Cruz uh my nephew, Leah's in the hospital having Cruz and she um he had to be in the intensive care and Bill [snorts] and Leah were in the intensive care and they were just praying for Cruz and and I think Leah said to you, "Dad, I see an angel.

There's an angel here." And you said, "I saw it. I saw it, too." And it was the week after that was our friend Mary's wedding and we were the baby was still in the hospital and we we were talking about it and I said to I said what what the angel look like?

Did he have a bald head? And and he said yes he did. Can you imagine? And Benny was like I bet you that that angel was assigned to that hospital for trauma. Same angel. It's crazy. I love reading about angels. Freaks me out. I haven't seen one that I realize unaware probably I've seen a lot but I haven't seen one since then that I would love to see more.

Um and it was out of that encounter that I wrote the song um mention of your name because the power of the name of Jesus really does change a room. Amen. >> So um let's see 10 minutes left. Oh the stories to tell you. Oh I'll tell you a fun one.

So, we were in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is a wild city, but I love that city. And it was Randy Clark and Heidi Baker and Bill and Benny. And we were leading worship. I don't remember who else was there, but and um they're on the front row, all of them.

Brian and I are leading worship. And all of a sudden in the middle where no one was of the stage about five feet up to 9 feet up it started raining. There was no source wasn't coming from anywhere. So we're standing here trying to lead worship and keep it together.

Meanwhile, it's raining with no source. And slowly but surely, people started in the crowd started to see and and become a little concerned honestly because it was kind of raining over our equipment. So Brian, I think moved his mic stand so we wouldn't get on it because at this point we don't know if it's God or something's leaking.

But it was a moment you could feel like it was a moment and we just worshiped. We just worshiped and you know didn't I don't understand it but there's a lot in this book that I don't understand. And um at the end of the meeting the rain stopped and we we it was a morning session and we broke for lunch and it wasn't raining outside.

They checked all the duck worked. It was didn't make any logical sense of why but it had happened and we were all kind of shook about it. I come back in for the midday session and Ry's speaking and he's speaking on grace and he gets to the the point of his message on grace and above him it just starts misty raining again.

Just this it wasn't even rain. It was like I don't have words for it. It it it was but it wasn't. And it's just misty raining. And what happened is people began to spontaneously worship. That was the response of that. And the pastor got up at the end to close the session.

He's like, "I don't know what we do about this, but it's here and real, and let's just just do a big fire tunnel and walk through it. I don't know." And so we did. We all lined up. were like, "Yeah, absolutely, 100%." Yeah. And um you know, not again, nothing that we saw happened, but it was life-changing because it happened.

It happened. And I I don't make things up. Like we knew it like we knew our name. Like we were sitting right there on the front row looking up at it and you could see it had no source and it didn't go anywhere, but it was just this like it it signs that make you wonder.

Um, I remember when the glory cloud happened and multiple times I was in the room at least twice, I think three times if my memory serves me well. And I remember I was sitting right over here on the front row and uh we had a a guy that was newer to our team named Jason.

And uh he was from a different denomination the day the glory club came. So that was fun. And um so I'm trying to be pastoral. Meanwhile, there's just spontaneous worship. My my oldest daughter was probably seven at the time and she's got her little flag and there my niece and her just dancing around in the glory clouds like swirling like a Van Go painting and people are spontaneously worshiping and we're crying and laughing and just the presence of God was miraculous.

And I'm trying to like check in with my guy over here who's new here. It's always the day the weirdest thing happens at Bethl. bring a friend every time. Every time. So, I'm like I'm checking in with him. I'm like I'm like Jay, I'm like I I don't understand this, but I love it.

And he turned to me and said one of the most profound things ever. He goes, "You know what? The children of Israel probably didn't understand the pillar of fire, but it was there now, wasn't it?" And [laughter] I was like, "Touche. Touche. There's so many things we again think we have to understand and and when you give up the understanding, man, it's a lot more fun.

And it changed my life having that day. Um I I remember uh when I was probably in 1999, I was in a I had a surgery where they um worked on my sinuses and took my tonsils out. It was terrible. And uh they laid me weird in the surgery and I woke up with my leg numb. the whole front part of my my thigh was just felt like it was asleep and felt gross to touch it and um it was years that it every time there was prayer I would get prayer for it and it just for whatever reason just never got healed.

Um and one Sunday I think it was or a conference I was on the front row and Bill just called out if you have some numbness in in your leg right here you know stand like he does and I popped right up and they whoever's around me put their hands on me and prayed and my leg woke up.

I mean, woke up absolutely perfect and has never bothered me since. And that was again a big sign. So, when I sing that line, I've seen uh healing or I've seen these different things. I I sing it from a place where I'm like, I've seen it. So, if you haven't seen it, just wait.

It'll happen. Um we had uh we had three kids and slowly but surely and just everything was happening and you know life just started progressing and we were just so happy and a full plate just like a full plate you know got really really busy and with life and pastoring and travel and songwriting and family and friends and just juggling it all.

I really got to a place in my life where I was extremely overwhelmed and I didn't feel like I was supposed to change anything in my life, but really just felt something had to change because I wasn't doing well managing all of it. And back in the day, there was a teacher at BCS Bethl Christian School.

We use acronyms a lot and I try to explain them so that people who have never heard them can understand. I hate acronyms. Um, but for your present for Mother's Day in this teacher's class, it was a third grade class and both my girls went through it. They would bring you in one by one as moms and they'd pray and prophesy over you for your Mother's Day present.

Amazing. This is real life. So, I go in and I didn't tell the kids kind of what was going on in my heart, but I was just really overwhelmed. And I I sit down in the little chairs, you know, and they all put their hands on me to pray.

And um they prayed some nice things like, "You sing pretty." And you know, just some like great little prayers. And then this one kid puts his hand on me and he's like, "I just see a really big plate of fruit like like fruits falling off the plate. There's so much on it."

And he said, "And you think you need to take fruit off the plate?" He goes, "But God just made your plate bigger. I cried so hard like that was the word of the Lord. God, I look to you, I won't be overwhelmed is the song lyric, right? >> But I used to sing in my car, God, I look to you because I'm overwhelmed.

I was driving on I5, wherever I5 is. I'm bad with directions. Wherever it is in this direction over there is um I don't do directions. Um, but I was driving on the freeway and I was overwhelmed and I was just thinking, "God, I look to you cuz I am overwhelmed."

And the L Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "If you keep singing it that way, you're going to stay that way. Change it. God, I look to you. I won't be overwhelmed." So, watch what you say. Even if it's true, change it and prophesy the opposite over your life.

Uh, a few years later, about three years later, my second daughter is in the third grade. So, I go in for my Mother's Day present and I sit down. What I didn't tell her is again, I was just having so much mom guilt trying to do what God's called me to do and still be a great mom and um to my kids.

And I was just really torn. And I was coming off of a conference going on a trip, which I don't usually do. And uh so I was really feeling it, the heaviness of it. And uh so I go in there and I sit down, I say nothing. They pray some cute prayers and a little girl puts her hand on me and she goes, "The Lord wants you to know that you're a honeybee and you have to go pollinate or this world won't be beautiful."

And she kept going, but I didn't hear love of love and joy and all these things. I'm just crying. I'm just the word of the Lord. Third grader. So, we get on the plane. This is when it gets fun. We get on the plane and we're flying and it was to Australia.

So, it was a far away sad trip. I love you, Australia. You're not sad, but how long it takes to get there is sad. So, in heaven, we will just be able to transport. And I can't wait for that. Jesus did it in here. I'm trying to do it before I get to heaven as well.

Haven't uh done it yet, but I'm still trying. So, I I'm on the plane right after that. I go to the plane. We're flying to Australia. And again, hours in, I'm just sad and I'm missing my kids and I'm asking God if I'm a bad mom and just I'm crying on the plane.

Honestly, I'm not a big crier unless I'm really worked up or it's Jesus. But I'm crying on the plane so much so that the stewardist is like, "Are you okay, honey?" I was like, "Yeah." And um back on the planes years ago, they used to have like TVs for all instead of TVs in the seat.

And you just had to watch whatever they were playing. And um so I'm kind of zoning out to whatever the heck's you know they're playing and it's some documentary. I don't know. I'm just watching it for like 45 minutes. [snorts] The Lord speaks to me. Wake up and look what you're watching.

So I just 45 minutes I had been watching about how honeybees pollinate the world. He'll speak to you if you let him. Honeybee. Uh this is um years ago we were um at our our friend's um pool. She's actually here. She's our our nanny and our one of our closest friend named Mimi.

Mimi, say hi to everybody. You deserve to stand up. Say hi to people. Mimi has helped us with our boys for the past eight and a half years. And she is amazing. Um and we were you you owe half of what you get out of me you owe to Mimi.

Okay? So, anytime you want to buy me something nice or do something sweet, just make it out to my. Um, but we were we were actually at a a swimming a pool party and at her at her parents house and all the kids were swimming and having a great time and parents were around and I don't know how many people were believers.

There was quite a few people. I don't know 30 50 people at the pool party and um Ben and Heather were there. we were there and then our friends and again I didn't know everybody so I don't know who was saved or not but um it was one of the most tragic moments of my life um a little boy we didn't realize it had drowned while the kids were swimming and you know once it's realized all everybody out and it's just crazy and they call 911 and they pull the boy out and he's he's dead and they put him on the ground and you know they're wailing crying and and we're just praying and my kids were there and I'm like just pray and Vinn and Heather are there and we're just praying life into this kid's body and it was like a long time like the the people weren't even there yet and he was gone like you know where you're like you're losing faith that they they're coming back and we're just praying and praying and praying and praying and all of a sudden that kid spits the water out and takes a breath and was to my knowledge totally fine to this day.

Um he was raised from the dead. That's amazing. and marked my life. Marked my life watching that little boy nothing less than come back from the dead. Um marked my life to have faith for that. Um I'm going to I'm going to end soon. But um I I wanted to the other thing that prayers to pray really smart prayers to pray are give me an increase to the sensitivity of your voice.

Give me an in give me a sensitivity to your voice, Lord. Whatever you say and a courage to obey it. We'll pray that again in a minute. [clears throat] And that God would just increase my faith became my, you know, what I've seen and what I know about God that he would increase my faith that nothing truly would be impossible and I would live and believe.

That is my cry. Um, but I wanted to end on some fun ones of provision. And I know that we talked about that in the offering for a moment of what we've God we've seen God do the [snorts] craziest things. Um how many of you know in the Bible oftent times God is not into addition he's into multiplication >> and it's beyond what you could ever imagine.

You look at the loaves and fishes. You look at God multiplies. I'm sure he adds as well, but he really likes to multiply and he really likes to blow our minds and he likes us to not be limited to what we think we know. And I married into the Johnson family from a wonderful childhood of we worked hard, we paid our tithes, all these beautiful kingdom principles and um I'm so thankful for that.

And then I married into a family who was so generous. It was flipping crazy. Like I remember one day a marking moment in my life. Benny, we were at a grocery store and she had her like really Bill likes to buy her really beautiful bags and so she had this really beautiful purse and I think Leah and I were with her and this Benny like nothing Benny was like nothing um of this world like mattered to her.

Makes me cry. She taught me so much. And he's like checking out at a grocery store and the girl across the counter was just like, "Oh, I love your bag." Like just that simple. And in silence, Benny just took her bag over to the side, dumped her bag out into a grocery bag and handed the girl her purse and said, "You can have it."

And that girl's face was like, "What?" [laughter] And so I marry into this family, Bill and Benny. They they're never going to tell you this, but I can because I'm the daughter-in-law and me and Gabe can get away with some crazy stuff around here. So What? They gave their house away one time to somebody who needed a house and they moved to a condo and left their house with a pool because somebody needed a house.

I mean, the stories are so beautiful. So, I marry into this family who are insanely generous and not precious to anything on earth. And I'm so thankful for the gift of of both sides of it. And so, I have to then figure out life of how do I do this now?

And I remember when we were first married, Brian and I, one of our first fights we had was about money. And anytime in our marriage to this day where we hit a wall, we reach out for help. We've gotten counseling our entire marriage still to this day. It is what has kept us healthy and still madly in love.

And I'm so thankful for the gift of counseling and and inner healing. Donna has given me some great soozos. And I'm really thankful for inner healing as well. I think those are two different gifts. That's a different message. But um I I remember um we were fighting over using our car.

I had paid for this nice car and came into our our marriage with a really nice paid off 1995 Honda Accord. And that was in 2000, so it was fresh. and and um at McDonald's. And so Brian had come into our marriage with like a couple guitars and a car, if you could call it that.

And so we were we were just, you know, just working it out as you do. And so I at that time we started to travel and we were using our car for ministry and I was like, "Well, then let's just pay the band a little bit less since we're using our car," which is crazy.

And now I see it. Thank you, Benny. Um, but it made sense to me in my head. And so we called Benny and we were like, "Okay, what do we do?" You know, he doesn't want to charge them and thinks we're blessed and I do want to charge them.

And Benny didn't say anything crazy. She just said one small phrase that changed my life. She goes, "Honey, you care way too much about money." [laughter] Shot to the heart. And she was right. And the Lord had to walk me then through what it looked like to hear his voice and to not do things in a natural way.

And I just said, "God, what do I do?" And at that time, I felt like the Lord spoke to me and said, "Stop budgeting." And I was like, "Get behind me, Satan." But it was actually the Lord. And I was wrong. But I He said, "I want you to write down everything that you need.

Not that you want, everything you need." car, house, food. At the time it was organic food. It was a price jump, but we did it. We did it, Benny. Still doing it. And um I wrote down what we needed and he said, "For anything else that you know it's not what you need, ask me."

So I'd be shopping in Target, there'd be a candle. I'd be like, "Can I have this? Yes or no? Green light or red light?" And I practically learned and practiced hearing the voice of God for for our family and and what it would look like. And I um you know we had hardly any money.

I was making I was paying I was um teaching piano lessons uh out of our house and Brian was the worship pastor and he got paid here and we're you know doing all the things and starting to songwrite and um I really wanted a new table and I was dreaming of this table in Pottery Barn um and I love Pottery Barn and there was this beautiful table that was so stupidly expensive and um I remember a few years into being married I I was in LA speaking at a women's conference conference and we went into a pottery barn and I remember I just ran my hand down the table like one day I'll have you my pretty you know and the Lord spoke to me and said you can have that if you want and I was like [snorts] me and what checkbook so but I knew it was him you can have that it's yours if you want and I I just I felt I felt I'd learned I'd learned to hear him in the crazy stuff or in lack but this didn't make sense in provision cuz I didn't need it. >> But I could see the kings and queens that would sit around the table.

I could see the the gift on our life of where that table was supposed to take us. And it didn't make any sense. So I called my husband and I said, "I know what is in our bank account right now, but I felt like the Lord's spoken to me about this table."

And he in his Johnson form goes, "Then buy it if you feel like it's the Lord." I was like, I love you. So, because we didn't have the money in our account, I put it on a Pottery Barn credit card and you also got a discount. We loved that for us.

And I couldn't even enjoy they had to to ship the table to me because that was in LA and Bing has fewer good stores. Help us, Lord. Um, we're getting there. But I get the bill for the table the same day, like within within a day of the check, the honorarium check that I wasn't counting on getting from the LA conference that I did cuz for some reason we just weren't budgeting that in.

And almost to the dollar were the amount of the table and the honorarium. So God gave us our table and on and on through our life, God has just done the craziest things as we've just done the very simple thing of listening to him and following without a thought process.

Okay, will you stand? I'm going to pray. [clears throat] >> Thank you, Lord. Thank you for your friendship and your presence. Just thank you that you walk with us through life through the highs, through the lows, that you have great plans, that you're a father who provides and you multiply and you do crazy things.

Let us never forget that you do things unimaginable beyond what we could ever imagine, Lord. And we trust you with our whole lives. Just put your hands out if you if you can. Father, we just surrender every aspect of our life to you. Our mind, our will, our body.

Father, we surrender every aspect of our life. And we ask you, Holy Spirit, to come now with a fear of the Lord, with the beautiful, holy, wonderful fear of the Lord that you would just flow through us like a fire. Father, any aspect of our life that's not in alignment to your will and your way that it would be burned up right now in the mighty name of Jesus. every fear, every past sin, everything that the holiness of God would flood our bodies right now, Lord.

That we would live with cou with uh insane courage to obey your voice and ears to hear you, Lord, eyes to see you, that you'd fill us with faith, and you'd fill us with hope that you are really who you say you are. You're with us right in the middle of all of it.

We love you, Lord. You're so wonderful in Jesus mighty name. Amen. I love you. ((applause))